Definitions by Monkey's Dad
carnivirus
Virus afflicting carnivores, slaughterhouse workers and meat processors, potentially transmitted to humans by animals.
He knew they were getting sick and dying in disproportionate numbers, but he would think about the carnivirus after he finished his bucket of spicy wings.
carnivirus by Monkey's Dad May 20, 2020
it'll wait
it'll wait by Monkey's Dad May 19, 2020
Reflexicographer
1) Any person whose contributions to Urban Dictionary arise in response to events of the moment.
2) Any person driven to create original words on a daily basis, as a side-effect of being alive in the world.
2) Any person driven to create original words on a daily basis, as a side-effect of being alive in the world.
With 300 entries provided to Urban Dictionary in a period of a few months, the author known as Monkey's Dad might be seen as a modern reflexicographer. Several of his original words have entered the language within days of their creation.
Reflexicographer by Monkey's Dad May 18, 2020
Japonica
Accoutrements placed in the service of pampering a woman who protests IANAJ, while being pampered as if she were in the Tokyo Hilton.
Her dedicated copper coffee pot from the Tokyo Hilton, her velvet baby blanket, her monogrammed sterling spoon, breakfast brought to her bedside, at the precise hour requested, pillows fluffed, lap dog placed in her lap, temperature adjusted just so, the blinds opened to the precise degree, her phone charged, as she requests with a simple hand gesture, a personally-selected condensation of the morning's news delivered softly, these and more were her personal Japonica.
Japonica by Monkey's Dad May 18, 2020
one day at a time
The comforting delusion that time is linear and sequential. A fond and impossible dream for anyone living in a simultemporal state.
Feeling the weight of past, present and future always upon him, he yearned to experience time as most others described their experience, moment by moment, one day at a time.
one day at a time by Monkey's Dad May 15, 2020
Don't touch yourself
Not the eternal 'you'll-burn-in-hell' admonition from parents, nuns and priests received by millions of adolescents. Now, it's your face that is the forbidden body part.
Quietly closing the door behind her, stripping off her gloves, sliding out of her mask, she kept repeating "Don't touch yourself" although she desperately craved the feel of her own fingers.
Don't touch yourself by Monkey's Dad May 15, 2020
appearances matter
Glancing into her closet, filled with lovingly-chosen clothing she no longer wore, slipping on her plastic coat, her mask and rubber gloves to go 'shopping', she recalled what her mother had taught her when she was young, that appearances matter, and wondered when it would be true again.
appearances matter by Monkey's Dad May 14, 2020