Monkey's Dad's definitions

Naybe

Nay, disguised as Maybe, used when you mean "absolutely not" and don't have the courage to say it.

I told him naybe when he asked me out. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but how much clearer can I make it?

by Monkey's Dad January 7, 2020

incringement

Violating the boundaries of another person in a way that make both parties intensely uncomfortable.

Her questions, on their first date, about the most intimate details of his personal history, all the women in his past, why he was single, his income, prospects for advancement and whether he had any communicable diseases, constituted an extreme incringement of his dignity.

by Monkey's Dad March 4, 2025

def-bombing

Attacking an Urban Dictionary definition with a sustained barrage of thumbs-down votes.

The definition had been selected as Word of the Day. It had earned thousands of thumbs-up votes and many fewer thumbs-down. But somebody out there was peeved. Every day they contrived to give it as many thumbs-downs as they could, usually four or five, in an act of def-bombing that only underscored the power of the definition itself.

by Monkey's Dad May 24, 2021

one day at a time

The comforting delusion that time is linear and sequential. A fond and impossible dream for anyone living in a simultemporal state.

Feeling the weight of past, present and future always upon him, he yearned to experience time as most others described their experience, moment by moment, one day at a time.

by Monkey's Dad May 15, 2020

Bill Gatesgate

The paranoid, extreme right-wing conspiracy theory that Bill Gates planned to use a COVID-19 pandemic to take control of the global health system.

He was convinced that this amounted to Bill Gatesgate, yup, Billionaire Gates had spent years conspiring with Obama, and Hillary! to make money off the whole damn thing, which wasn't real anyway.

by Monkey's Dad April 17, 2020

Zoomophilia

Newly classified sexual kink, experiencing Zoom meetings as covert orgy.

Without knowing it, this was the turn-on he had waited for, his new Zoomophilia. Seeing only faces of his Zoommates, his imagination roamed freely, thinking of what might be going on out-of-frame.

by Monkey's Dad May 14, 2020

2020 dayjob

The non-existent work a suddenly-unemployed waiter or waitress looks for, to make ends meet in the coronavirus economy.

An actress by training, a waitress by profession, she quickly needed to find a 2020 dayjob, with the whole world staying home. It wasn't going to be easy.

by Monkey's Dad March 14, 2020