comforting fiction

An untruth we tell ourselves, or tell others, to keep from having to face facts, and to ease us through hard times.
Just wash your hands and you'll be fine, warm weather will make it disappear, only old people can die from it... one comforting fiction after another could not disguise the truth that we were all in for a long, painful journey.
by Monkey's Dad April 15, 2020
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Anti-Mask League

An organization of Americans opposed to wearing masks during the 1918 Flu Pandemic, which killed 50 million people.
"The 'Anti-Mask League' protest in San Francisco was an orderly protest compared to people fighting in Walmarts today," said Dr. Howard Markel, a medical historian and a physician who leads the Center for the History of Medicine at the University of Michigan. "Today, the anti-mask sentiment has a virulence and violence of its own that we didn't see back then."
by Monkey's Dad August 16, 2020
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hand-to-hand wombat

When two women attempt to claw the other's eyes out, settling instead for the slapping of faces and pulling of hair, usually over a perceived insult or stolen man; typically confined to any TV show designed to condescend to women and thus reap huge ratings.
The words "bitch" and "whore" were screamed, soon followed by the inevitable hand-to-hand wombat.
by Monkey's Dad April 09, 2021
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epidemonology

The study of who and what gets blamed for an epidemic.
Whether it was the complacent president, a de-funded response system, or simply "Patient Zero" who got off the plane from Beijing, coughing, epidemonology would inevitably follow.
by Monkey's Dad March 11, 2020
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Doctor Donothing

Doctor Dolittle's more eccentric office-mate. A person so fully connected to the animals that he finds humans strangely exotic.
"Where's Doctor Donothing?"
"Outside, where he's been since four AM, feeding the deer, the squirrels and chipmunks, the birds and the dogs. When I try to talk to him, he looks at me like I belong in an aquarium."
by Monkey's Dad October 24, 2020
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formal sex

The opposite of casual sex.

"Save-the-Date" cards are sent, followed by printed invitations requiring an RSVP. There is an unspoken dress and undress code. Invitees are expected to be well-mannered, witty, and clean. Afterwards, a small note of appreciation is well received.
An evening of formal sex was always something to look forward to, a reason to go shopping in the preceding weeks, to attend to hair, nails, makeup. And in the following days, to lightly mention in passing, a source of envy amongst friends.
by Monkey's Dad January 10, 2022
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pompossified

A state in which a person is so pompous they become irreversibly rigid.
Stepping out of her limo with her nose in the air and her mink wrapped tightly around her shoulders, she looked thoroughly pompossified.
by Monkey's Dad March 01, 2020
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