Monkey's Dad's definitions
The futile urge to recall the "toll-free" number - is there another kind anymore? - which the announcers manning the membership drive on Public Radio have repeated several dozen times in the past few seconds and which, as a result, refuses to be recalled.
Let's see... 888... something something... why do I have such low remembership drive for that number, even though it is toll-free?
by Monkey's Dad September 11, 2019
Get the Remembership Drive mug.She had fallen for his whole 'I'm so kind to animals' thing. On their first date, happily sharing Impossible Burgers with him, she dropped her fork. At floor level, she saw his feet. "Hypocrite!" she screamed. Are those vegan leather? No! You are wearing meat loafers!" She grabbed her phone, unfriended him, and stalked off. Needing some comfort food, he signaled the waiter for a bacon cheeseburger.
by Monkey's Dad March 6, 2020
Get the meat loafers mug.by Monkey's Dad April 18, 2020
Get the femoji mug.A novel condition in which the sufferer looks upon approaching human beings as threats, just for breathing, and wants them to burn in hell.
What was this moron, this utter fool, coming toward her with his mouth covered and his fucking nostrils exposed?! He was human scum, a killer, and the sight of him filled her with revulsion. At one time she might have found him attractive. But now? Now she wanted to smash him, hard, but that would entail proximity, the last thing she'd ever want to share with another person. She knew she'd contracted The New Misanthropy, but it was a damn sight better than Covid.
by Monkey's Dad February 10, 2021
Get the The New Misanthropy mug.Clear-sighted, realistically unafraid. A condition which must necessarily exist in order for the condition of being para-noid to exist.
The only one at the party who had declined the marijuana, he did not have the munchies, did not find every utterance, no matter how inane, hysterically funny, he was more than ready to drive anyone and everyone home if need be, and he was suffering no delusions; absolutely no one was out to get him. While his friends may be paranoid, he was, in a word - noid.
by Monkey's Dad June 6, 2021
Get the Noid mug.Watching the ageless couple sitting in a chair meant for one, gazing into each other's eyes, stroking, kissing, laughing at things no one else could see or hear, she expressed her own joy eloquently, muttering, "barf, barf, barf".
by Monkey's Dad December 25, 2022
Get the barf, barf, barf mug.An experience of life without time. The absence of a temporal dimension. An extension of simultemporal experience, in which past, present and future are equidistant and simultaneous.
Having grown accustomed to simultemporal experience - living time all at once, rather than sequentially - he was increasingly forced to acknowledge states which were vaccutemporal, wherein the sense of time in any form dissolved.
by Monkey's Dad August 7, 2021
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