psygh

A long, deep, audible breath which sounds like a sigh but has a pathological source.

For the tenth time in two minutes she heard him psygh, and realized that confinement was making him crazy.

by Monkey's Dad April 09, 2020

personal disappearance

The care we take with how we look, when there is no one to see us.

Saturday night in a city under lockdown, another date with her laptop. She brushed her hair and put on makeup, knowing that for the foreseeable future, she would be the only one to take pleasure in her personal disappearance.

by Monkey's Dad March 18, 2020

Missing Definition

A word or phrase on Urban Dictionary which enjoys a fine and happy life, generating views and many thumbs up and down. It enters the language triumphantly, good people everywhere now using it. Then, in an instant, the word or phrase mysteriously vanishes from Urban Dictionary, and no one seems to know why.

He hunted for the missing definition. It was gone from his own pages. For a day or two it still showed up in the search bar, and in a Google search, then went completely AWOL. The author, deciding to re-submit it, got the "oops" message - the definition already existed - even though it didn't. Paging Sherlock Holmes.

by Monkey's Dad April 10, 2020

The Religious Left

Liberals who have their own definition of "the right to life".

Unlike members of the Religious Right, the Religious Left doesn't advocate ripping children from their mother's arms and putting them in cages, putting prisoners to death when witnesses have recanted and they have been refused the legal admission of DNA exoneration, or the necessity of carrying assault rifles into church. Just sayin'.

by Monkey's Dad March 12, 2020

stand down comedian

A professional, on stage in a comedy club, who suddenly understands there is no humor in our predicament, nowhere he can take us that is any more absurd than the facts, and walks off.

Oh, he had material ... Mexico building a wall to keep Americans out... Ivanka's first act as president, pardoning her imprisoned daddy, children dying so the school cafeteria staff could return to work... but he saw that we had fallen beyond the reach of laughter. He was finished, a stand down comedian, and others would silently follow.

by Monkey's Dad July 15, 2020

Keep Portland Weird

The long-standing slogan of Portland, Oregon, at present ground zero in the new world of American Fascism.

"Be careful what you wish for", he thought, passing the downtown mural that said 'Keep Portland Weird'. Hours earlier, he had been grabbed by heavily-armed, camo-clad paramilitary, thrown into an unmarked van, blindfolded, sped away, dragged into a building, interrogated, and much later dumped back on the street. Portland was getting weird in ways that no one could have imagined.

by Monkey's Dad July 25, 2020

soli'tude

Attitude formed in response to isolation.

The first few months of being alone had been hard, but gradually she's developed her own soli'tude. She could get along just fine with no one... thank you.

by Monkey's Dad May 25, 2020