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Monkey's Dad's definitions

Texazuela

Oil prices fall below zero, Texas, the nation's leading crude oil producer, looks in the mirror and sees Venezuela.
Once unimaginable, today US oil prices plunged to minus $40 a barrel, and Texazuela may face economic collapse.
by Monkey's Dad April 20, 2020
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uncertain future

The truth, or illusion, that we cannot know what will happen next.
She felt the weight of her uncertain future, more than ever, unable to predict or imagine the world which awaited.
by Monkey's Dad May 12, 2020
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complain't

A complaint that isn't.

An actor's lament that while he could recently walk the streets unnoticed, fans now come up to him for selfies.
Her complain't that men looked desirously upon her when she entered a room would, in a few years time, become a genuine complaint that no one looked anymore.
by Monkey's Dad April 4, 2020
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isopropyl alcoholism

Addiction to hand sanitizing, a common pandemic disorder.
He sanitized his hands after touching any item, even if it had been sitting undisturbed on his desk for years. 'You can never be too careful', he said aloud, every few minutes, in denial of his isopropyl alcoholism.
by Monkey's Dad April 25, 2020
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Hydroxycloroxquine

The bomb. A tablespoon of Clorox mixed with hydroxychloroquine.
If drinking Hydroxycloroxquine meant she could go back to the nail salon, she'd have a double.
by Monkey's Dad April 24, 2020
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Covid's Metamorphoses

An epic poem, waiting to be written.
Chronicling the transformations of the world, from its creation to its breakdown, due to the coronavirus and the self-deification a Julius Caesar wannabe, Covid's Metamorphoses will be read in the 22nd Century as a charming fable of humanity as it once was.
by Monkey's Dad October 7, 2020
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Don't touch yourself

Not the eternal 'you'll-burn-in-hell' admonition from parents, nuns and priests received by millions of adolescents. Now, it's your face that is the forbidden body part.
Quietly closing the door behind her, stripping off her gloves, sliding out of her mask, she kept repeating "Don't touch yourself" although she desperately craved the feel of her own fingers.
by Monkey's Dad May 15, 2020
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