Monkey's Dad's definitions

irrationalize

To explain behavior or attitude with illogical, implausible reasons.

"Because my closest friends will be there", she said, "everyone I most like spending time with", explaining why she refused to go to the party. He could counter any reasonable explanation with facts, but hearing her irrationalize, he became flummoxed and just gave in.

by Monkey's Dad March 15, 2020

Sifty

When fifty is the new sixty. When recently healthy and vital people, so exhausted and worn down from Covid, from politics, from the craziness of masks, vaccines, the Big Lie, feel they have lost not just a year but a decade.

Yesterday she was 49. Today was - big whoop - her birthday, and whatever the balloons spelled out, she was sure she must be turning Sifty.

by Monkey's Dad September 16, 2021

The Bridge

An eloquent dream symbol, its crossing an achievement that long felt impossible. "Last night, I dreamed I walked across the bridge", she told him, "all by myself, all the way to the other side of the river."

"I dreamed I walked across the bridge."

by Monkey's Dad January 15, 2023

Pussword

When every one of your passwords are the name of your cat.

She carefully typed it in, one letter at a time. F-L-U-F-F-Y, her all-time favorite pussword, which nobody could ever guess.

by Monkey's Dad September 15, 2021

Chimp on your shoulder

Having a Monkey on your back and a Chip on your shoulder, simultaneously.

Everyone knew to avoid the conspiracy-spewing moron at the end of the bar, except the one guy looking for a fight. He came up behind him and said "Is that a chimp on your shoulder, or did you offer Tucker Carlson a piggyback?"

by Monkey's Dad August 8, 2021

revidivism

To return to an appallingly bad movie, after you have done your time and pronounced yourself rehabilitated.

He had come out swearing, "Never again!", but here he was, in lockdown, serving a second stint with "Sharknado 3", an act of tragic revidivism.

by Monkey's Dad March 26, 2020

No-It-All

A person whose reflex is to refuse, dispute, and oppose everything.

No, she did not want any chocolate, no, she did not need any more shoes, no, she did not have time to take a trip, and she already had three pale pink sweaters, so thank you but no. He saw she was a total no-it-all. And the day he stopped offering would be the day she'd change her tune and accuse him of being a know-it-all.

by Monkey's Dad April 19, 2020