Monkey's Dad's definitions

Sane Patrick's Day

The special day in mid-March when people do NOT gather in tightly-packed spaces to get drunk, yell, sing and generally breathe in each others' faces, because there is still a global pandemic.

With his six-pack of Guinness, he sat on his sofa to celebrate Sane Patrick's Day, and set his sights on next year.

by Monkey's Dad March 17, 2021

online carbon dating

Googling the person you have just met to try to find their age.

"Ok", she began, "so he like, asked me out, but I mean, when I like, asked if he was like, into "Cheer" he dropped Ted Danson, Kirstie Alley and, like, Shelley Long and I mean like, whose great-grandparents are they??? So I gotta do some online carbon dating first."

by Monkey's Dad October 26, 2020

demon-stration

A peaceful protest which is infiltrated and manipulated by opposing forces, to demonize the original gathering by instigating violence.

The BLM protest was civil and calm. Suddenly an outsider appeared, threw a rock at police, a fire was set, the cops sprayed tear gas and in minutes it became a demon-stration.

by Monkey's Dad September 5, 2020

duhfinition

The explanation of a word or phrase, provided sarcastically.

Once again, he asked her what 'multiple orgasm' meant, and once again, she provided the duhfinition.

by Monkey's Dad April 18, 2020

Japonica

Accoutrements placed in the service of pampering a woman who protests IANAJ, while being pampered as if she were in the Tokyo Hilton.

Her dedicated copper coffee pot from the Tokyo Hilton, her velvet baby blanket, her monogrammed sterling spoon, breakfast brought to her bedside, at the precise hour requested, pillows fluffed, lap dog placed in her lap, temperature adjusted just so, the blinds opened to the precise degree, her phone charged, as she requests with a simple hand gesture, a personally-selected condensation of the morning's news delivered softly, these and more were her personal Japonica.

by Monkey's Dad May 18, 2020

ridical

Radical to a ridiculous degree.

Even some young pie-in-the-sky supporters were feeling Bernie's ideas a bit too ridical for mainstream politics.

by Monkey's Dad March 16, 2020

recirculated err

Making the same mistake over and over.

He tried not to do the same stupid thing more that two hundred times, but it seemed to happen anyway, and he was growing tired of breathing recirculated err.

by Monkey's Dad May 1, 2020