Monkey's Dad's definitions
A rarified skillset needed to deal with the mundane, the meaningless, the growing piles of junk and the demands of ordering still more stuff that occupy the day and often pass for a full life.
Sitting on the bed, staring at yet another emerging bedside volcano, she was confident she could summon the craptitude to conquer, organize and move on to higher callings... "just give me five minutes".
by Monkey's Dad April 15, 2023
Get the craptitude mug.Dictating while driving and doing her nails, her text said that she was happy with her new high bridge Toyota Penis. Could she give him a shocking lisp? If he would pick up a few ripe tornadoes and parrots she could cook his favorite vaginal soup.
He didn't even try to translate. Once again she had crossed the border into the Spell-Czech Republic.
He didn't even try to translate. Once again she had crossed the border into the Spell-Czech Republic.
by Monkey's Dad December 10, 2020
Get the Spell-Czech Republic mug.America's answer to France's Eiffel Tower, our national phallus. Unlike the Eiffel, this monument to cultural pride is fluid in its location, arising in Newtown, El Paso, Parkland, Orlando, Las Vegas and who-knows-where next, making it easy for foreign tourists to get a taste of our country's zest for a liberty that shall not be infringed.
Jacques, he send me une Carte Postale from Etats Unis, photo only of guy in a cap rouge, Making America Great, holding straight up, his erection shape like AR-15, The Rifle Tower. From cold dead fingers we will take it? Non merci. Mon Dieu.
by Monkey's Dad September 9, 2019
Get the The Rifle Tower mug.A self-consciously hyper-feminized young woman
"The Girlie Bird catches the worm" muttered Tiff to herself, as she put the final touches on her makeup, earrings, hair, stilettos, cleavage and hemline, before heading to the bar.
by Monkey's Dad November 30, 2019
Get the Girlie Bird mug.After months of virtual meetings, virtual birthday parties, virtual sex, he felt real life slipping away, drowning in unvirtuality.
by Monkey's Dad April 13, 2020
Get the unvirtuality mug.On election day, voters would be told to stay home, for their safety, yet forced to go to the polls, which in traditionally democratic areas would be closed. America was becoming a Pandemocrisy - Fear More Years!
by Monkey's Dad May 9, 2020
Get the Pandemocrisy mug.A suddenly-healthy individual whose aversion to being close to other people, or - gasp! - being touched, was very recently seen as a disorder. In these stressful times he is a paragon of sanity.
I don't want to seem like a sociophobe, but please... the six-foot rule? Don't breathe on me, don't touch me, don't even look at my food!
by Monkey's Dad March 14, 2020
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