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Monkey's Dad's definitions

discrushionary income

When the amount of money you can spend any way you want is crushingly little.
Another week without a paycheck, his free-spending days a fond memory, he counted his discrushionary income in the roundest of numbers.
by Monkey's Dad March 16, 2020
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Free Range Human

A person able to move their limbs freely, to walk about their beloved cities, towns, beaches and parks. A person looking forward to same, if and when the coronavirus pandemic ends.
After days of forced isolation in his minuscule New York apartment, able to touch all four walls at once, he yearned to open the door, to hit the street, to walk, to run, to be a free range human.
by Monkey's Dad March 20, 2020
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a free country

Concept championed by low IQ individuals, who want to do what they want to do.
She would refuse to wear a mask, spit in the face of the cashier, open the ice cream carton and lick the contents before putting it back, urinate in all the lemonade bottles, carry her gun where'n'when-the-hell she chose, drive 200 miles an hour through the red lights while schoolkids were crossing, and use the salt shaker on your table for target practice, because this is a free country.
by Monkey's Dad May 25, 2020
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Nasal Flasher

A sexual deviant who derives pleasure from exposing his or her nostrils in public, wearing a mask over their mouth but under their nose.
As with other bodily orifices, it is presently taboo to expose one's nostrils in public. So naturally there is a new breed of Nasal Flasher, making eye contact, semi-naked, getting their kicks. They are often confused with the millions of total morons who do not understand that the nose and mouth are connected.
by Monkey's Dad March 28, 2021
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Ianaj

The murmured protestation of a woman being served an artfully prepared late-morning breakfast, in bed, with a monogrammed sterling spoon, under a velvet blanket, by a man whose one goal in life is her pleasure and comfort, meant to convey the disclaimer: "I am not a Jap".
Ianaj - obviously you have never known a real one - please bring me my glasses... turn the fan slightly toward the window... my phone... and what time is it?
by Monkey's Dad September 3, 2019
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Quaranteenager

A person coming of age in the coronaviral age, home-schooled, missing out on dating, beer, pot and every other rite of social passage.
Watching "Clueless", "Ladybird" and "Booksmart" while in lockdown, she yearned to experience the geeky teen years which were her birthright and hated-hated-hated being a dorky quaranteenager.
by Monkey's Dad March 28, 2020
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Cabin Footprint

The amount of carbon dioxide - essentially zero - emitted due to the consumption of fossil fuels by a person in the grip of Cabin Fever, staying at home during the pandemic.
She wasn't flying. She wasn't driving. She wasn't even walking, except to pace her apartment in a state of cabin fever. She figured she could at least be proud of her tiny cabin footprint.
by Monkey's Dad April 6, 2020
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