Monkey's Dad's definitions

Faust or Famine

A deal with the Devil, made by many Americans feeling deprived of their 'freedom', to mingle in public in the midst of a pandemic.

She'd been starved for fun, locked up at home. Knowing it was weighing Faust or Famine, she was going to the beach.

by Monkey's Dad May 26, 2020

Remdeceiver

A new 'miracle cure' for Covid-19 which is not a miracle cure.

"Remdeceiver is being touted as a cure", the epidemiologist said, "when it merely shortens the recovery of Covid-19 patients. We need either a cure or a vaccine."

by Monkey's Dad May 3, 2020

Does Not Match

Mysteriously appearing in response to your user name, your password, your email, all of which you have entered correctly.

He typed his email for the fourth time, slowly and carefully, and again got the message: "does not match". He hit 'forget your password?' They could send him a temporary one, no problem. First, he needed to enter his email address.

by Monkey's Dad April 20, 2020

invisible prison cell

The six-foot radius meant to prevent coronavirus transmission.

He felt it as portable solitary confinement, like carrying around an invisible prison cell.

by Monkey's Dad March 23, 2020

stand down comedian

A professional, on stage in a comedy club, who suddenly understands there is no humor in our predicament, nowhere he can take us that is any more absurd than the facts, and walks off.

Oh, he had material ... Mexico building a wall to keep Americans out... Ivanka's first act as president, pardoning her imprisoned daddy, children dying so the school cafeteria staff could return to work... but he saw that we had fallen beyond the reach of laughter. He was finished, a stand down comedian, and others would silently follow.

by Monkey's Dad July 15, 2020

The Religious Left

Liberals who have their own definition of "the right to life".

Unlike members of the Religious Right, the Religious Left doesn't advocate ripping children from their mother's arms and putting them in cages, putting prisoners to death when witnesses have recanted and they have been refused the legal admission of DNA exoneration, or the necessity of carrying assault rifles into church. Just sayin'.

by Monkey's Dad March 12, 2020

Missing Definition

A word or phrase on Urban Dictionary which enjoys a fine and happy life, generating views and many thumbs up and down. It enters the language triumphantly, good people everywhere now using it. Then, in an instant, the word or phrase mysteriously vanishes from Urban Dictionary, and no one seems to know why.

He hunted for the missing definition. It was gone from his own pages. For a day or two it still showed up in the search bar, and in a Google search, then went completely AWOL. The author, deciding to re-submit it, got the "oops" message - the definition already existed - even though it didn't. Paging Sherlock Holmes.

by Monkey's Dad April 10, 2020