Monkey's Dad's definitions

rantlers

Multi-pronged offensive weapons projecting from the cranium of a male who has something to say, and say again, and then expound upon, at length and in detail, with increasing volume, until his adversaries, and even those who might under gentler circumstances have agreed with him, are driven toward quieter pastures.

He came out of the theater sharpening his rantlers, so aggrieved by the multitude of sins - factual, artistic, moral, narrative, historic, cultural, - committed by the new Tarantino film - the sheer misdirection, when there had been so much to be made from the basic elements of the story, the irredeemable irrelevance of every central character and most of the secondary characters, wasted plots twists galore, to no advantage, gratuitously altered realities, that interminable shot in the second act which had no place in the mise-en-scene...

by Monkey's Dad September 8, 2019

abstruct

An abstract construct. How the once-real world feels to many, after weeks of social distancing and lockdown.

She knew they were real people on her screen, during the zoom meeting, sorta. The truth was, she saw it as an abstruct, which she hoped no one could tell.

by Monkey's Dad May 24, 2020

Snake Lunch

The lowest state of being a person can attain, far lower than merely becoming 'toast'.

He felt certain that, after the multiple convictions which were looming, the 'leading candidate' would be snake lunch.

by Monkey's Dad November 23, 2023

negated negation

A prefix which should, but does not, negate the word to which it is attached. While 'mobility' and 'immobility' are opposites, as are 'effective' and 'ineffective', the words 'passivity' and 'impassivity' mean the same thing, as do the words 'flammable' and 'inflammable'.

Tired of being described as passive, he decided to be more impassive. He'd be a man of action, or maybe even inaction. What difference could a negated negation make?

by Monkey's Dad July 25, 2023

irrationalize

To explain behavior or attitude with illogical, implausible reasons.

"Because my closest friends will be there", she said, "everyone I most like spending time with", explaining why she refused to go to the party. He could counter any reasonable explanation with facts, but hearing her irrationalize, he became flummoxed and just gave in.

by Monkey's Dad March 15, 2020

Cabin Footprint

The amount of carbon dioxide - essentially zero - emitted due to the consumption of fossil fuels by a person in the grip of Cabin Fever, staying at home during the pandemic.

She wasn't flying. She wasn't driving. She wasn't even walking, except to pace her apartment in a state of cabin fever. She figured she could at least be proud of her tiny cabin footprint.

by Monkey's Dad April 6, 2020

Fries with that?

The echo of a nearly-forgotten culture.

Awakening from a dream, the phrase "Fries with that?" kept playing in his head, like a guitar hook. It must have meant something, long ago, and perhaps it would come to him.

by Monkey's Dad April 20, 2020