Monkey's Dad's definitions

verisimehlitude

The quality in a work of art so enslaved to the reality of its source that it elicits no response.

The sculptor had worked very hard to do this. His sculpture was exactly life-sized, colored and textured to precisely replicate the thing it was imitating, and, standing in the gallery, it looked like a living, breathing security guard. Except that it was not breathing, nor was it living, nor did anyone recognize it as a work of art. Or feel anything about it. Or pay it any mind. An example of craft for craft's sake, it had achieved a state of verisimehlitude.

by Monkey's Dad June 22, 2021

Coughkaesque

An unsettling, nightmare story of existence in the coronaviral age, redolent of Franz Kafka.

Empty streets, silent cities, people under legal edict to avoid others, with no sound more ominous than a simple cough, the world swiftly felt Coughkaesque.

by Monkey's Dad April 2, 2020

#MehToo

#MeToo fatigue, the result of elastic boundaries applied in accusations of inappropriate conduct.

She struggled to understand how Andrew Cuomo was being classed alongside R. Kelly and Harvey Weinstein. When old grab-em-by-the-pussy-Trump had been given a pass, for God's sake??!! She wondered whether she and her friends had arrived at their #MehToo moment.

by Monkey's Dad March 2, 2021

Msogynist

A polite and politically correct Misogynist.

Never crude or disrespectful to the fair sex, he introduced himself to women as a Msogynist.

by Monkey's Dad August 29, 2021

Taco Bell wine

Wine sold at Taco Bell.

When life could not feel any more weird, Jalapeño Noir is the name of the new Taco Bell wine, available only in Canada.

by Monkey's Dad September 15, 2020

transcendent beauty

An exceedingly rare quality, possessed by very few women, illuminated from within. Most of the world's celebrated beauties do not have it and cannot acquire it, as shown by their age-driven pursuit of cosmetic surgery, and the tragically self-erasing results. For a woman so blessed, it is simply a gift, immune to the passage of time.

She appeared to be ageless, radiant with transcendent beauty. Wherever they found themselves, she was the most beautiful woman in the room, not by degree but entirely in a class of her own. Strangers, both men and women, stared, sometimes approaching to comment. It was more than her exquisite proportions and facial symmetry. Paired with those things, it came from an inner quality of goodness. The man beside her was sometimes told that he was transcendentally lucky, which he knew to be true.

by Monkey's Dad December 5, 2023

criminally negligent humor

Slipped into conversation like a stiletto between the ribs, an unintended yet nearly lethal joke.

She looked innocent, her blue eyes wide, and he never saw it coming, another taste of her criminally negligent humor. Sliding from the bed and falling to the floor, he begged, "Don't make me laugh! Please!" It was too late.

by Monkey's Dad March 26, 2023