703 definitions by Monkey's Dad
Having a monkey on your back and a chip on your shoulder.
Everyone knew to avoid the conspiracy-addled lout at the end of the bar, except the one guy looking for a fight, who came up behind him and said "Is that a chimp on your shoulder, or did you offer Tucker Carlson a piggyback?"
by Monkey's Dad August 22, 2021
The words spoken by George Floyd to Derek Chauvin and his fellow officers as Floyd was being arrested and killed on May 25, 2020.
"Please! Thank you!" said Floyd, as one of the officers offered to get into the back seat of the squad car with him, after Floyd expressed his extreme claustrophobia. "Please!" said Floyd, as Chauvin knelt on his neck, suffocating the life from him, "Please! I can't breathe!"
by Monkey's Dad April 20, 2021
A whole damn buncha fancy stuff y'all kin lookit ta show ya got booklernin', 'fore ya git ta votin' twahce, lahk the great man tol' ya to.
The president himself had said it, 'vote twice'. Not sure what that meant exactly, or how to go about it, Verlene decided to look it up on Hickipedia.
by Monkey's Dad September 5, 2020
A woman's summation of her split-second lovemaking with a man possessing no clue as to her anatomy, her appetites, her capacity for pleasure or how to provide it.
She had barely gotten started and he was done, she thought, staring at the ceiling. Another boregasmic sprint to see how fast he could roll over and fall asleep.
by Monkey's Dad March 9, 2020
Eric Trump's unconscious, urging the country to defeat his father, aka "this fraud", as the vote counting continued in Biden's favor.
“Where are Republicans!” Eric Trump stated, unaware that they were as absent as his question mark. “Fight against this fraud. Our voters will never forget you if your sheep!”, begging the actual question, if my sheep what?
by Monkey's Dad November 6, 2020
For the tenth time in two minutes she heard him psygh, and realized that confinement was making him crazy.
by Monkey's Dad April 9, 2020
On election day, voters would be told to stay home, for their safety, yet forced to go to the polls, which in traditionally democratic areas would be closed. America was becoming a Pandemocrisy - Fear More Years!
by Monkey's Dad May 9, 2020