Mister Priapus's definitions

Twentynine Stumps

US Marine and Navy slang for Marine Corps Air Ground Combat Center - Twentynine Palms, California. It's called Twentynine stumps because it's in the middle of the damn desert and there ain't a fucking palm to be found.

"Dude, their sending me to Twentynine stumps right out of Corps School so's I can be a pecker checker to a bunch of jarheads!"
"Drink lots of water, shipmate."

by Mister Priapus June 7, 2005

pecker checker

A US Navy Hospital Corpsman who is assigned to the STD clinic, to conduct a short arm inspection or otherwise inspect scores of human genitalia for signs of sexually transmited disease.

Corpsman: Dude, they just made me the new pecker checker at Balboa.
Shipmate: It's easy, just tell 'em to drop their skivvies, pretend to look interested, and tell 'em not to wave that thing so close to your cigar.

by Mister Priapus June 7, 2005

WestPac widow

A US Navy wife who fucks around with other men while her man is out on deployment. Named for the West Pacific, or WestPac cruise, which is a common and lengthy deployment for West Coast sailors.

"Dude, don't fuck with those WestPac widows or you're liable to end up with a shotgun pointed at you."

by Mister Priapus June 7, 2005

dog zebra

Navy slang for when three men are having sex with a woman simultaneosly. Euphamism based on US Navy material condition of readiness which determines which fittings (doors, vents, etc.) are to be closed on a naval vessel. Condition Dog Zebra is the most secure condition, where all airtight, watertight, firetight, and fumetight fittings are secured.

So when three male sailors are teamin' a chick (whether a betty out on liberty, a female shipmate, whatever) they will "set condition dog zebra" where one guy fucks her pussy, one guy fucks her ass, and one guy is has his dick in her mouth, thus "all openings secured"

"We had some liberty in PI with this fine as ho so me and my boys set some dog zebra!"

or...

"How come all these chicks are gettin' pregnant out on WestPac? Too many people settin' dog zebra on a bitch."

by Mister Priapus June 7, 2005

lifer

Someone in the military, especially Navy or Marines, who stays in because he's too scared of civilian life. Not all career military are lifers. Someone who is "career" is respected because they stay in because they like it, whereas a lifer hates being in the military but is too scared they will end up sleeping in their car if they get out (which sometimes happens). A lifer is basicly serving a self-imposed life sentence in the military. Lifers will kiss every ass above them in the chain of command and will try to make everyone else around them as miserable as they are.

"Shipmate, are you going to reenlist? We'll make you a yellow shirt."
"No Chief. I ain't a lifer. I'm gettin' a real job."

by Mister Priapus June 7, 2005

Put your nuts back in your sack!

Basicly a way to tell someone to chill. Used when someone is getting all worked up over something trivial, making a mountain out of a molehill.

"Damn, dude, why you trippin'? Put your nuts back in your sack and quit bein' a drama queen about it."

by Mister Priapus June 24, 2005

nofuck vagina

US Navy slang for Norfolk, Virginia, the largest Navy town in America. Everybody in the Navy ends up in Norfolk at some point in their military carreer. Watch out for the signs that say, "Dogs and sailors keep off the grass!" And don't EVER buy a car there!

"Welcome, Gents, to Nofuck Vagina, where there is absolutely nothing to do!"

by Mister Priapus June 7, 2005