Mike Read's definitions

jam bands

musical groups with a lyrical disposition towards preserves of all kinds.

by mike read August 7, 2003

tossing

either something you do to a salad, or another word for wanking. or wanking into a salad.

jamie oliver said "it's been a good night's tossing once again, guvnah."

by mike read August 7, 2003

Dropping the Soap

why cockney wanker'comedian' Michael Barrymore wishes he'd gone to jail after that bloke drowned in his swimming pool.

awight! I couldn't 'ardly walk after Dropping the Soap in G wing sharrers (trans: showers), guvnah, leave it aht, do what, you're 'aving a laugh!

by mike read August 13, 2003

awight

annoying catchphrase of the now disgraced cockney 'entertainer' Michael Barrymore

awight at the back!

by mike read August 13, 2003

Jugs

something for keeping milk in

nice jugs there, Daisy

by mike read August 13, 2003

mother in law

your wife's mother. a terrifying insight into what awaits you in 25 years time.

the wife's mother came around yesterday. I knew it was her as soon as she knocked on the door: all the mice threw themselvess onto the traps.

by mike read August 13, 2003

sock cooker

shameless little tramp who cooks her husband's socks at any available opportunity

oh yeah baby, cook my socks

by mike read August 13, 2003