Michael Gannett's definitions

sonic boom

n. a fart that displaces a large amount of fresh air, causing a sudden barometric spike that flutters the eardrums, one that hits your nose quicker than your ears

Shock waves rippled back through Ryan's face, like a guy on multi-g force rocket sled ride, as Jonathan loosed a sonic boom that made the windows rattle.

by Michael Gannett February 16, 2006

own your house

v. literally equating to "win a lawsuit against you."

A threatening phrase that condenses a situation to it's final proposed outcome that "I will sue you and win, thereby stripping you of your property." Variants would include living in (someone's) house.

See suitcase

1 - If you touch me again, I'm gonna own your house.
2 - You better watch what you say, or I'm going to own your house.
3 - If your malpractice insurance hadn't taken compensated the victim, she would own your house.

by Michael Gannett February 22, 2006

smith

n. a gun, usually a revolver, derived from "Smith and Wesson," also see credit card

Wipe that smirk off your face asshole, or I'll show you my Smith.

by Michael Gannett April 4, 2006

double ontondra

n. referring to a person's name - usually their given name but possibly also their family name or stage name - that seems to be either a mispelling of another word or a homonym, to humorous effect
n. a mocking term for any name that seems to be "completely made up," or which is so far out of the mainstream as to be funny
n. a phrase used to point out someone else's misspelling, misapplication of a phrase or term, or literal or verbal slip-up

Winona and Bubba named their daughter Ontondra, after hearing someone use the term "double entendre," and thinking that it meant "a really smart thing to say." Her name was a mild double ontondra.

When Cece Peniston came on the television show, Beavis said, "I wonder if she wants to SEE SEE my PENIS-ton? Heh heh." She had an outrageous double ontondra.

How can parents give their children names that cause them such torment? Ada Dick was married to Harry Butts. Each of whom endured years of teasing for their double ontondra.

by Michael Gannett February 22, 2006

comfort food

n. euphemism for tasty, satisfying foods of high caloric content relative to little nutritional value, term is utilized exclusively by individuals who can least afford to consume such foods to rationalize consumption of foods with no other value except "comfort."
n. foods which increase the comfortable, luxurious padding on a bbw

Sheena looked down when she dropped her candy bar, but the comfort food seemed to disappear completely. Had it fallen down her cleavage, or was it near her feet? She wasn't quite sure.

by Michael Gannett February 15, 2006

fathermucker

Expletive describing religious fundamentalists and/or literalists who espouse the alleged teachings of prophets or deities of one of the paternalistic religious traditions such as Judaism, Christianity, or Islam, and who promote the adoption of such alleged teachings into laws regulating personal and social freedoms. Fathermuckers include parties as diverse as those who propose teaching Creationism as science and those who promote blowing oneself up in a crowd in order to please their deity/prophet.

So, let's just NOOK the FATHERMUCKERS!

by Michael Gannett February 14, 2006

cop a squat

v. to defecate quickly and with great efficiency

I was nearly late for the plane, but I ran into the restroom to quickly cop a squat before boarding.

by Michael Gannett February 15, 2006