28 definitions by McCririck's unlucky Laundress
Adjective. Extremely flat. A witch is traditionally considered not to be the model of fertility and, as such to be less than buxom.
Norfolk is a very windy county but that is not surprising -it is flatter than a witch's tit.
I turned the key but, having left the radio on all night the battery was as flat as a witch's tit.
I turned the key but, having left the radio on all night the battery was as flat as a witch's tit.
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress September 17, 2005
Proper noun: Hampstead. An area of North West London covered by postcode area NW3. Hampstead is populated largely by moneyed liberals, champagne socialists and aged ex-hippies which results in taste and style choices that are annoyingly twee. NW3 + twee = NW Twee.
Pronounced 'enn double you twee'.
Pronounced 'enn double you twee'.
"Tarquin and I are torn between renaming him 'Life' and 'Cactus'. It needs to be something that expresses his masculinity yet - bugger! He's puked his yak cheese and aniseed brûlé all over my pashmina shawl."
"Bloody hell Saskya, you're so NW Twee!"
"Bloody hell Saskya, you're so NW Twee!"
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress September 14, 2005
Noun: Term of abuse for someone who feigns being Irish when convenient. E.g. An entirely British person who in 1994, on realising that England had not made it to the soccer World Cup, had no one to cheer for and found green blood in their veins for as long as Republic of Ireland were still in with a chance.
What happened to your England shirt, you plastic paddy?
No, I'm Irish. Honest.
On which side?
Err... both. My Mum's cousin's got an Irish setter and my Dad was conceived in the County Kilburn. Guinness spritzer with a dash of Baileys please barman, cheers. Bejazus!
No, I'm Irish. Honest.
On which side?
Err... both. My Mum's cousin's got an Irish setter and my Dad was conceived in the County Kilburn. Guinness spritzer with a dash of Baileys please barman, cheers. Bejazus!
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress September 12, 2005
Noun, adjective. Any item of reproduction furniture or tourist souvenir which is made in the STYLE of the designer Charles Rennie MacKintosh but is just a cheap rip-off of the great man's work. Edinburgh gift shops are full of this rubbish, always cheaply made and ill-proportioned.
Helpfully contains the words 'mock' (mimic) and 'tosh' (nonsense).
Helpfully contains the words 'mock' (mimic) and 'tosh' (nonsense).
'I love those dining chairs with the grid of squares in the very high back.'
'Don't go there, dear. They're mockintosh. Made in Luton from stacking palettes.'
'Don't go there, dear. They're mockintosh. Made in Luton from stacking palettes.'
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress September 12, 2005
Noun: A ratchet tool for tightening and then cutting the surplus off nylon cable ties or 'straps' without leaving a sharp point protruding.
Familiar due to sounding a bit like 'appendectomy'. Phrase in use by employees of GEC in UK in 1980s.
Familiar due to sounding a bit like 'appendectomy'. Phrase in use by employees of GEC in UK in 1980s.
Shouted the length of a telephone exchange or similar electrical engineering environment "Who's got my strapadicktome? I'll have to trim these with side cutters."
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress September 11, 2005
Noun, singular or collective: A chain (or single branch of a chain) of large DIY warehouse shops occupying ugly, aircraft-hangar-like buildings - sheds. Wickes, Homebase, B&Q are sheds.
That little ironmongers on the corner didn't have one.
You'll have to go to one of the sheds then.
Yeah, but they'll only sell me a packet of 20 and charge me an arm and a leg.
You'll have to go to one of the sheds then.
Yeah, but they'll only sell me a packet of 20 and charge me an arm and a leg.
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress September 13, 2005
Noun: Spunk, jism, come baby gravy. There is actually a brand of anchovy paste in Britain called The Gentleman's Relish - Patum Peperium. Coincidentally, it's rather salty.
Do you like the taste of Gentleman's Relish, babe?
Don't know, never tried it.
Open wide. What's your name by the way?
Don't know, never tried it.
Open wide. What's your name by the way?
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress September 12, 2005