Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian's definitions

Unabomber

Contrary to popular belief, the Unabomber was more of a domestic terrorist rather than a psychopath. As with all terrorists, his motive to kill was purely ideological. He was severely critical towards technological advancement and how—in a way—technology would corrupt society. It might've seemed like an absurd and irrational critique 30, 20 or even 10 years ago, but now in 2021 where nomophobia is a real thing, the Unabomber's critique isn't that far off (just minus the terrorizing part).

If the Unabomber didn't choose the unnecessarily violent path, he would've made a great point. Many theorists have talked about the paradox of technology, where technology has freed us, but yet at the same time has enslaved us.

It is recommended to read Neil Postman's "Technopoly: the surrender of culture to technology" to understand more about this paradox.

The Unabomber was an unhinged thinker whose ideas were woke, but whose actions were flawed.

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian August 20, 2021

Index-Pinky Scratch

The index-pinky scratch is a ball scratching technique that involves only using your index and pinky finger to scratch your ballsack. Using the hand that you pee with, you fold the middle & ring finger downwards, leaving only the index, pinky and thumb sticking out. Then you reach for the bottom of your ballsack and start dragging your index and pinky upwards, slowly and intensely. This method targets the itchy area much more effectively with needle-like precision. Note that this only works best with moderate-long nails.

I used the index-pinky scratch technique to soothe my itchy balls and have never felt better.

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian January 22, 2022

Tier 4 sub

Does not exist.

Random_user_A: hey man you're making some great content, I'd love to go above and beyond and sub to you at tier 4, but don't have enough money yet :(
Random_user_B: Tier 4 sub? The highest is tier 3
Random_user_A: yeah thats what I meant
Random_user_B: I mean it's up to you if you're feeling it, just note that tier 3 has little to no perks
...
Streamer: *reads chat* "Oh thank you Random_user_A! But you really don't have to if you can't"

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian September 2, 2021

Haterade

Anything or anyone that acts as fuel to ignite feelings of hatred and resent. See also: Reddit comment threads.

I get a constant endless supply of haterade from interacting with toxic Redditors. It's very addictive, though each haterade I consume cuts off one second from my lifespan.

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian July 8, 2021

Shpee

To shit and pee at the same time. This is the only correct definition.

Friend 1: What took you so long?
Friend 2: I ended up taking a shpee. Killed two birds with one stone yk

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian December 10, 2023

Ear Licking

Let me rephrase my previous definition differently and more sensibly:

While ear licking is technically a form of ASMR, ear licking should NOT be associated with ASMR. Why?

It's money-grabbing publicity material. Suggestive stuff always gets more attention than non-suggestive stuff. This changes the dominant representation of ASMR from something non-sexual to something lewd. Now don't get me wrong, ASMR can be suggestive/erotic, but that is not at all representative of the true purpose of ASMR (which is to relax and give you tingles). Such content should be on pornhub, NOT twitch. It is truly heartbreaking to see newcomers being deterred away from ASMR because of the ear licking, when in reality ASMR stands for so much more.

It is exactly like toxic Rick & Morty fans who give off a bad impression of that show when in reality it is such a great show.
It is exactly like the people who shit on Fortnite when it's actually not that bad of a game.
It is exactly like people who boycott Papa John's because of its kooky CEO when in reality their pizza is really good.
Do I need to come up with more analogies?

Also let's be honest, the sound of somebody's wet tongue dragging across the mic is generally revolting to hear. If you genuinely like ear licking, then good for you I guess, but please know and understand that ear licking is destroying the dignity and reputation of ASMR, day by day. There are endless tales of people who hate ASMR because all they knew of it was ear licking.

▼The chat of an ASMR twitch stream▼

DadudeBro: I am so relaxed rn, thanks
Hoss382950: Hello
KingJeff7: *abruptly comes in* Y'ALL ARE SICK PEOPLE FOR LIKING ASMR!!!
DadudeBro: @KingJeff7 no u
CHR0NICBE4ST: @KingJeff7 How? What did asmr ever do to you?

KingJeff7: Bruh I aint gonna listen to some girl licking the fuckin mic
CHR0NICBE4ST: Please pay attention to this stream, do you see any ear licking? Also, I think you got the wrong impression of ASMR. Look up "Virtual Barbershop" on Youtube and go watch the first video. Now THAT is real asmr.
DadudeBro: Yeah what CHR0NICBE4ST said. Additionally, go look up ASMRtists such as Gentle Whispering, Heather Feather, ASMRmagic, Gibi ASMR and Ephemeral Rift. Those are people who make actual ASMR. If you think ASMR is just ear licking and mukbang, then you are heavily misguided.
KingJeff7: I don't care, still cringey ass shit.
MOD Jadee_17: "KingJeff7 has been banned."
DadudeBro: PETTHEMODS
totally_newb: PETTHEMODS
Heckerboi97: PETTHEMODS

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian October 31, 2021

Yahoo Switcharoo

When ur friend leaves his laptop unattended so you set his browser homepage to Yahoo instead of Google.

When John left to go to the washroom, I gave his internet browser the ol' Yahoo Switcharoo.

by Mary Mary Quite The Contrarian January 22, 2020