Mark Shackelford's definitions

guitortion

An uncontrolled contorting of the face of a guitar player making repeated, irreconilable, humiliating mistakes during a solo at a live performance.

That guy's solo was so bad he had the guitortion turned up to nine.

by Mark Shackelford May 12, 2007

car warts

Nonfunctional, external car accessories that appear to be performance modifications but actually diminish aerodynamics and add dead weight to the vehicle.

<poser> I've got fake dual exhaust with chrome tips, a dummy hood scoop, an artificial slant antenna and nonfunctional side vents. Anything else I can do to impress the women?

<tuner> Yeah, get rid of all those car warts and get a personality!

by Mark Shackelford July 30, 2007

Obi Wan Baloney

Someone who speaks of something they know nothing about as if they were a Jedi Master.

<Obi Wan Baloney> You should be careful when doing barrel rolls - it could disturb the yeast.
<Chuck Yeager> Thanks, I'm trying to reduce my bread intake anyway.

by Mark Shackelford November 19, 2007

enchihuahua

An enchilada made with dog meat.

I'll take the enchihuahua platter with verde sauce and double rice instead of beans.

by Mark Shackelford September 16, 2007

Hurricane Hannah

A former champion motocross racer, Bob Hannah, who was known for loosing control of his bike but staying on the throttle until it was over.

Hurricane Hannah gets squirrely in the washboard but manages to hang on.

by Mark Shackelford May 12, 2007

eggslax

The sudden, involuntary, rapid emptying of one's bowels after eating too many eggs.

<egg eater> I'm about to bingo stamp my underwear in a very big way if I don't find a restroom.
<meat eater> Was it something you ate?
<grain eater> He's got a bad case of eggslax!

by Mark Shackelford May 31, 2007

futon

A really uncomfortable couch that easily converts to a really uncomfortable bed.

I see your little brother has a futon. Did he get that free with the purchase of his new Yugo?

by Mark Shackelford February 29, 2008