Maggie T's definitions

Vlad the Impala

Small, timid, African game animal. Or a rather unimpressive active homosexual.

At 150 kgs, with a two inch fuze, Vlad the Impala terrorised his local gay bar to loud shouts of “Is it in yet?” from his victims.

by Maggie T November 24, 2025

Private Jet

An elaborate and expensive way to appear a hypocrite.

Yeah, but I off set the carbon with lots of trees, and a Papal dispensation. Now let’s park my private jet next to that snowdrift while I harangue you about Global Warming you smelly peasants

by Maggie T May 7, 2025

Gay Salt

Sugar.

A latte with extra gay salt please. Then remove the pineapple from my rectum.

by Maggie T November 21, 2025

As much use as a business page in the Guardian

Something of no use to the chronically economically illiterates, who read the Guardian and worship Carl Marx.

“ That’s about as much use as a business page in the Guardian!” Exclaimed Rupert before spilling egg down his tie.

by Maggie T November 21, 2025

Jimmy Savile Badge

A knighthood. A British honour so devalued by being given to worthless creatures like “Sir” Jimmy that it has a reverse effect.

As “Sir” Bob arose the price tag on his Jimmy Savile badge could be clearly seen…

by Maggie T May 7, 2025

Plastic Boyfriend

Either a Sextoy or a pretend boyfriend to make a middle aged Catlady look normal, but having the reverse effect.

As she sat next to her plastic boyfriend all night all the lady could think of were her cats, and her dildo.

by Maggie T May 7, 2025

Monkey Vox

Monkey Vox. Nasty disease spread by homosexuals. And the Eurovision Song Contest. (Monkey Pox).

Make Awful Music Great Again at the latest city to experience an outbreak of Monkey Vox.

by Maggie T November 24, 2025