MILFord Keynes's definitions

Crown Jewels Heist

Getting your dog neutered

Fido has been a right little pussy since the Crown Jewels Heist

by MILFord Keynes March 12, 2022

The Fliddest

The flid with the least arm and leg

the fliddest was declared champion by tape measure

by MILFord Keynes March 12, 2022

Skid

Being romantic in a caravan park

"Did you ever used to skid as a child. I used to love it.": William Mckenzie

by MILFord Keynes March 12, 2022

Susan

Your stereotypical 57 year old Tesco worker (usually by the tobacco)

"That fucking Susan didn't give me baccy because I didn't have ID. I'm a 25 year old, bald, bearded bloke with a Kid"

by MILFord Keynes March 12, 2022

Swan Twatting

When you thump your long-necked, majestic creature too vigorously.
Or
When you dive headfirst into a fuck load of minge

"Yes Bernard, wanna go swan twatting later?" Says Derek
"Sure mate, need to grab some bourbons first tho." Says Bernard
"You've got solid priorities g" replied Derek

by MILFord Keynes March 12, 2022

Space Hopper

During cowgirl, she grabs your balls and starts bouncin'

"She propper space hoppered my balls the other night"

by MILFord Keynes March 12, 2022

2p Pussy

The metallic taste of pussy

Gaz: "What's your opinion on 2p pussy?"
Glen: "Not my cup of tea, can see the appeal though. What about you?"
Gaz: "I fucking love it mate"

by MILFord Keynes March 12, 2022