Louisiana Gold's definitions
A rare condition when a person suddenly gains brilliance or previously unknown areas of expertise with the introduction of massive amounts of alcohol to their bodies.
Billy: "Man, those guys were going to steal your car outside the bar, but you kicked all three of their asses! Do you know karate?"
John: "I don't know anything, but when I'm drinking I'm a black belt. I'm like an alcoholic savant with bourbon in me."
John: "I don't know anything, but when I'm drinking I'm a black belt. I'm like an alcoholic savant with bourbon in me."
by Louisiana Gold May 18, 2009
Get the alcoholic savantmug. When a woman is so condescending, believes she is so much better than everyone else, she has graduated into being a complete cunt.
Jill: “I like your new shoes.”
Jane: “Rhonda said she gave her shoes like this to Goodwill.”
Jill: “What a cuntdescending thing to say.”
Jane: “Yeah, maybe she’ll fall into a cave and not get discovered for a few days and have to drink her own piss and eat her fingernails just to stay alive…”
Jill: “Woah, calm down.”
Jane: “Yeah, my bad, I got a little carried away…but she is cuntdescending on a daily basis.”
Jane: “Rhonda said she gave her shoes like this to Goodwill.”
Jill: “What a cuntdescending thing to say.”
Jane: “Yeah, maybe she’ll fall into a cave and not get discovered for a few days and have to drink her own piss and eat her fingernails just to stay alive…”
Jill: “Woah, calm down.”
Jane: “Yeah, my bad, I got a little carried away…but she is cuntdescending on a daily basis.”
by Louisiana Gold December 24, 2008
Get the Cuntdescendingmug. When a waitress receives a greater tip because her thong is showing out the top of her pants.
In related circumstances, it can actually work in reverse and punish those who shouldn't be in a thong.
In related circumstances, it can actually work in reverse and punish those who shouldn't be in a thong.
Al: “I just gave the waitress a $7 tip off a $10 bill, even though it took forever.”
Ricky: “Why?”
Al: “Because I could see she was wearing a pink G-string and I saw it heading down the crack of her tight ass when she bent over…had to give her the thong bonus.”
Ricky: “Totally.”
Ricky: “Why?”
Al: “Because I could see she was wearing a pink G-string and I saw it heading down the crack of her tight ass when she bent over…had to give her the thong bonus.”
Ricky: “Totally.”
by Louisiana Gold March 9, 2009
Get the Thong Bonusmug. A long sliver of ass crack that hangs out of the back of your pants when you bend over after a few weeks of heavy eating during the holiday season.
My brother vomited on our cousin when mom accidentally showed her ChristmAss Crack to everyone while reaching for champagne at the New Year's Eve party.
by Louisiana Gold December 30, 2009
Get the ChristmAss Crackmug. When performing the tea bag, moving farther up the victim's face and dropping your testicles on the bridge of the nose and even across the eyes, thus rubbing your ripe asshole on the mouth on the victim. Typically an exclamation point to a well-executived tea bag when performed in front of an audience.
Get your camera, I'm about to give him the reverse bag with fig. There needs to be some documentation he had my fig on his lips.
by Louisiana Gold December 18, 2008
Get the Reverse bag with figmug. A parable passed down for generations describing the futility of the unintelligent to perform simple tasks.
Since ancient times, when an imbecile, ill-advised coworker or friend has attempted an assignment beyond their capabilities, they are often compared to a monkey endlessly trying to fix an engine that won't start by beating on it with a hammer, because monkeys do not possess the skills of a mechanic.
Since ancient times, when an imbecile, ill-advised coworker or friend has attempted an assignment beyond their capabilities, they are often compared to a monkey endlessly trying to fix an engine that won't start by beating on it with a hammer, because monkeys do not possess the skills of a mechanic.
After being shown how twice, Dan never did learn how to open the fence, so it rained on him a few hours later. He was just like a Monkey Beating An Engine With A Hammer that day.
by Louisiana Gold December 21, 2008
Get the Monkey Beating An Engine With A Hammer mug. Someone who could be classified as retarded, yet still possesses enough knowledge to make others believe he is capable of difficult tasks, thus creating suffering from his ineptitude.
Typically encountered in the workplace, MacTards can be dangerous and unpredictable. Unlike someone who is merely retarded and familiar with their limitations, MacTards have great confidence in their ability.
Typically encountered in the workplace, MacTards can be dangerous and unpredictable. Unlike someone who is merely retarded and familiar with their limitations, MacTards have great confidence in their ability.
Nick: “We both just got fired for letting Pete put the books away?"
Dave: "How?"
Nick: “Somehow while putting them on the shelves he ended up lighting our office on fire.”
Dave: “I told you not to leave those matches and oily rags down there around that MacTard.”
Dave: "How?"
Nick: “Somehow while putting them on the shelves he ended up lighting our office on fire.”
Dave: “I told you not to leave those matches and oily rags down there around that MacTard.”
by Louisiana Gold January 20, 2009
Get the MacTardmug.