Lorelili's definitions
A usually beautiful, virginal, virtuous, and hopelessly passive young woman constantly in need of rescue by the dashing hero. She is portrayed as rather asexual and usually a foil for the assertive but dangerously seductive femme fatale.
While the damsel in distress makes appearances in many folk stories dating back to Antiquity and features in a few fairy tales, this passive heroine does not seem to make regular appearances until the Victorian era; the Middle Ages were idealized as a time of pre-industrial innocence and the Victorians projected their ideals of men and women onto their Medieval ancestors; the Industrial Revolution was in full swing and women, displaced from farms and entering the middle class, lost some autonomy over their lives and became more ornamental, more dependent on their husbands.
Damsels in distress are often shown tied to railroad tracks, to sawmill conveyor belts, or offered as sacrifice to a dragon (or King Kong) until her knight in shining armor arrives to save her in the nick of time.
While the damsel in distress makes appearances in many folk stories dating back to Antiquity and features in a few fairy tales, this passive heroine does not seem to make regular appearances until the Victorian era; the Middle Ages were idealized as a time of pre-industrial innocence and the Victorians projected their ideals of men and women onto their Medieval ancestors; the Industrial Revolution was in full swing and women, displaced from farms and entering the middle class, lost some autonomy over their lives and became more ornamental, more dependent on their husbands.
Damsels in distress are often shown tied to railroad tracks, to sawmill conveyor belts, or offered as sacrifice to a dragon (or King Kong) until her knight in shining armor arrives to save her in the nick of time.
A damsel in distress would not have fared well in Medieval Europe. Generally, European women in the Middle Ages were not expected to be these timid shrinking violets; Christina of Markyate (who resisted a forced marriage and followed her dream of becoming a holy woman), Marjorie of Carrick, Christine de Pisan (a proto-feminist of sorts), Margery Kempe (another mystic), and Nicola de la Haye (led her castle against a siege in her 60s) are just a few of examples of women who took the reins in their own lives.
Women of that time and place were in danger of abduction, especially if they were wealthy... but it was preferable to a loveless marriage. The average "knight in shining armor" was a mix of professional assassin and local rapist, so the damsel often arranged to be kidnapped by her preferred suitor or even do the abducting herself:
Marjorie of Carrick (c. 1253-1292) was a countess in her own right, but was married young to an older husband who died in the Crusades in 1271; she was informed of this by her husband's handsome young companion, Robert de Brus. Marjorie, out hunting at the time and far from upset by the news, was so taken by his beauty that she took him back to her castle and held him captive until he agreed to marry her; she must have done something right, because they were married within days. The second of their eleven children was Robert the Bruce himself.
Women of that time and place were in danger of abduction, especially if they were wealthy... but it was preferable to a loveless marriage. The average "knight in shining armor" was a mix of professional assassin and local rapist, so the damsel often arranged to be kidnapped by her preferred suitor or even do the abducting herself:
Marjorie of Carrick (c. 1253-1292) was a countess in her own right, but was married young to an older husband who died in the Crusades in 1271; she was informed of this by her husband's handsome young companion, Robert de Brus. Marjorie, out hunting at the time and far from upset by the news, was so taken by his beauty that she took him back to her castle and held him captive until he agreed to marry her; she must have done something right, because they were married within days. The second of their eleven children was Robert the Bruce himself.
by Lorelili October 10, 2011
Get the damsel in distressmug. A pathetic excuse for a human, much less for an aristocrat. A scrawny, towheaded, false-tanned, attention-grabbing imbecile who defecates all over her dignity in order to be noticed.
A vapid run-of-the mill dyed-blonde bimbo who can't even speak her own language properly, is famous simply for her family's money and for her sex-life (as well as for her so-called "beauty"), has not done a thing to earn her fame and does not deserve a penny of her fortune.
A failed abortion/miscarriage who gulps and bathes in the semen of the pitifully desperate males who find her attractive enough to screw, has no respect for herself (much less for those of lower social status), is an absolute redneck, and can insert a redwood log into her gaping vagina.
A vapid run-of-the mill dyed-blonde bimbo who can't even speak her own language properly, is famous simply for her family's money and for her sex-life (as well as for her so-called "beauty"), has not done a thing to earn her fame and does not deserve a penny of her fortune.
A failed abortion/miscarriage who gulps and bathes in the semen of the pitifully desperate males who find her attractive enough to screw, has no respect for herself (much less for those of lower social status), is an absolute redneck, and can insert a redwood log into her gaping vagina.
And those who claim that Paris Hilton's detractors are "gelous/jalous/jellous" (the correct spelling being "jealous"), what is there to be jealous of? This mooching slut has money and "fame", yes, but where is her talent? Where is her dignity? Where is her intellect? She has none of these.
by Lorelili November 12, 2006
Get the paris hiltonmug. 1. An animal used for meat and for milk. Domesticated. Sadly, this animal has had a rather bloody history, and not even their babies are safe from being turned into food; the little ones become an evil food known as veal.
2. A term for a nasty, stupid, and/or promiscuous person (usually female), despite that cows are cute and relatively intelligent animals.
2. A term for a nasty, stupid, and/or promiscuous person (usually female), despite that cows are cute and relatively intelligent animals.
I'd call Ann Coulter an ignorant cow, but that would be insulting to the cow; cows (and dogs) are too cute and too smart to be seen as horrible; she's a fly.
by Lorelili February 23, 2006
Get the cowmug. 
Somebody who plays the piano...
It's starting to sound like another word: a word for part of the male reproductive anatomy. A favorite among men (nudge nudge, wink wink)
It's starting to sound like another word: a word for part of the male reproductive anatomy. A favorite among men (nudge nudge, wink wink)
The pianist walked onto the stage, carrying a candleabra.
The boy happily hugged his pianist, eager to start with playing the organ.
The boy happily hugged his pianist, eager to start with playing the organ.
by Lorelili December 28, 2005
Get the pianistmug. Having a very attractive body.
(Especially of a female) being full-bodied, large-bosomed, and appealing to the eyes of lesbians or heterosexual men.
Pleasing to the senses, sensuous.
(Especially of a female) being full-bodied, large-bosomed, and appealing to the eyes of lesbians or heterosexual men.
Pleasing to the senses, sensuous.
"Her flowing raven hair was a stark contrast to her milky complexion. Her amber eyes... almost catlike, her figure voluptuous."
by Lorelili March 17, 2005
Get the voluptuousmug. 1. crazy, insane, demented, nuts, deranged, out of one's mind, bonkers, lost one's marbles.
2. angry (usually limited to the United States)
3. extremely, very
2. angry (usually limited to the United States)
3. extremely, very
-"I get up before dawn, go to bed at midnight, work until I'm half-mad, and what do I get for it?!"
-"Ophelia's gone mad and she's run off! We have to catch her!"
-"Wow, your mom's really mad!"
-"This book is mad boring!"
-"Ophelia's gone mad and she's run off! We have to catch her!"
-"Wow, your mom's really mad!"
-"This book is mad boring!"
by Lorelili April 5, 2008
Get the madmug.