Lord Grimcock's definitions

blind skater's elbow

Descriptive of a severely chafed penis following sustained sexual activity, masturbation or having being fellated by Esther Rantzen.

I went up the road to Cabanatuan for a pint of milk and came back with a cock like a blind skater's elbow.

by Lord Grimcock May 25, 2008

necrobortion

The act of inserting carrion (ideally a fourth-trimester goat foetus) up a lady's quim. Putrefaction ensues, and after a certain time - weeks, maybe months - has elapsed, the semi-liquid remains can be felched out of her gash by a braver man than me. Preferably at solstice, etc, as with necrobation, which can be done simultaneous, and often is.

Incubating that necrobortion gave your mum lethal blood poisoning. Best put the cadaver on ice till solstice.

by Lord Grimcock January 23, 2008

Youtube

Great source of music videos, but in common with the rest of the internet it is clogged to fuck with valueless self-indulgent crap posted by moronic teens. Youtube comments are great fun to troll due to lack of moderation and proliferation of easily-offended fanboys.

Typical Youtube comment thread:

*1*bunnybabygrrl*1*: WORD UP I LUV DIS VID MARY KATE IZ THE BAlLLZ LOL shE LOOKS SO PRITI WEN SHE SiNGZ LOL i WANT TO B HER luv U 4 EVA MK :):):)LOL

anusreaper88: i rape cats

*1*bunnybabygrrl*1*: OMG U SIK FUCK1!!!!!!!!1111

dismalobsessive: You will pay for your mockery. I know where you live. Prepare to die slow FAGGOT!

(continues ad nauseam)

by Lord Grimcock August 27, 2008

hippy

Vermin. Cosseted baby-boomers who expressed their generational feeling of inadequacy by toxic passivity, stale groupthought and, above all, moaning about anything and everything. Most of them have long since sold out, but they are still to be found here and there - many in suspended animation on 'soft' university courses, or in larger groups at tenth-rate music festivals in a state of drug-accelerated senility.

Some fucking hippy asked for directions to the university, so I sent him up Scotswood Road where he got filled in by a large gang of smackrats. Funny as fuck.

by Lord Grimcock January 14, 2008

slag badge

At some point about three years ago, it became fashionable for women to deface themselves with tattoos, usually above the waist or on the ankle or upper arm. I first became aware of this trend when some scratter shoved by me sporting a butterfly on the grotesque roll of mechanically tanned lard that hung around her belt. Had I known what was to come, I would have killed her then and there to stop the plague-like spread.

Originally confined to the lower orders, this has now 'trickled up' to the extent everyone from ballerinas to dinnerladies feels called on to complete herself by having some indecipherable Chinese bollocks or some flowers carved above her chuff.

At its most harmless, this is something discreet like a Celtic cross; at its worst, the 'tat' extends all across the lower back, leaving the gentleman with the impression he is fucking the Berlin Wall.

I suppose this was meant to look hawt and slightly dangerous, but all it does is mark the bearer down as a monumentally uninspired skank who'd probably wear a lip-plate if Nicole Richie got one.

See also: tramp stamp (US), sign of ten thousand penises, whoremark, etc.

I thought she was a bit of alright until she bent down to open that drawer, exposing the eagle-wing slag badge on her lower spine.

by Lord Grimcock August 23, 2007

bust his hoop

Crude way of describing the vile act of sodomous penetration.

If Chesney looks a bit uncomfortable today, it's because Jerome bust his hoop behind the gazebo last night, poor cunt.

by Lord Grimcock April 26, 2008

Tengri

Sky-god, chief god of the steppe nomads whose religion is sometimes described as Tengrism after him. Worshipped by Genghis Khan, so you know there's something in it. Possibly the coolest god outside the Norse pantheon and Ctulhu.

Dread Tengri, accept these 8,000 virgins in humble sacrifice!

by Lord Grimcock October 9, 2008