Lord Grimcock's definitions

spenk

Wearside. Descriptive of a gimp; one who is something of a gonk.

Not a term I ever heard before I started working in Sunderland, but I was called it there on a daily basis.

Hawaire man Charlie y'fuckin spenk.

by Lord Grimcock August 25, 2007

Catterick condom

The one failsafe method of birth control, much favoured between military types in the eponymous Yorkshire garrison town. See also: Colchester condom.

Now you will be wearing a Catterick condom when I meet you behind the barrack block tonight, won't you lieutenant?

by Lord Grimcock January 5, 2008

nambling

Participle version of 'namble', itself backformed from 'nambler'. To be in the way of, or actively engaged in molesting kids.

I'm a nambling man
I'm gonna namble your asshole
Tonight
- Turbonegro / Anal Gestapo - The Midnight NAMBLA

Tut, look at the Telegraph. Looks like Janner's been caught nambling again.

by Lord Grimcock April 29, 2008

ball glaze

British. Pre-ejaculate; gleet.

Pressed against that schoolgirl's hip on the axle seat of the 57, I'm ashamed to say I involuntarily released a few drops of ball glaze as we passed over that unmade road, Father.

by Lord Grimcock September 13, 2007

cuntware

A piece of software so useless, intrusive, poorly-conceived, designed and/or supported one forms the opinion that everyone who was involved in its creation, marketing and distribution is a cunt.

Norton Anti-Virus is the archetype of cuntware.

by Lord Grimcock November 6, 2007

goatfelcher

One who felches goats. Or a generally defective human being.

Justin Timberlake is teh goatfelcher.

by Lord Grimcock October 30, 2007

Tengri

Sky-god, chief god of the steppe nomads whose religion is sometimes described as Tengrism after him. Worshipped by Genghis Khan, so you know there's something in it. Possibly the coolest god outside the Norse pantheon and Ctulhu.

Dread Tengri, accept these 8,000 virgins in humble sacrifice!

by Lord Grimcock October 9, 2008