LeoTheKilljoy's definitions

Urinal cake

Those thingamabobs in urinals to make them smell nice. For some reason they gave them a name that makes it difficult to resist the temptation to eat one. Pretty sure eating one will kill you though. Unrelated: invite-only cupcake party at my place. I’m making the cupcakes. If they smell like lime or flowers and taste like chemicals then don’t worry that’s normal the aftertaste is good though I promise. Please come to my cupcake party

disclaimer: Urinal cakes should not be eaten

by LeoTheKilljoy January 8, 2024

Tonsil hockey

Icky yucky mouth to mouth sex for people who don’t want/can’t have actual sex. You lubricate each others’ tongues nice and slimy with your own tongue and make annoying noises. Also if you’re that one mf who won’t shut up about that one other mf (you KNOW who you are) then you’re going to be a boastful little bastard about it for way too long as if other people were jealous of you when NOBODY IS and you’re EMBARRASSING YOURSELF by trying to show off your PRIVATE LIFE in PUBLIC and then you can’t take the hint as to why NOBODY IS APPLAUDING YOU AND YOU THINK YOU’RE SOOOOOOO INTERESTING FOR GETTIN’ SLIMY IN THEIR SLIMY PIE HOLE BUT NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT IT STOP TALKING ABOUT IT AND

“I may or may not have kissed redacted today, hehe”
“FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR TONSIL HOCKEY MATCHES WITH SIR WOOBIE HIMSELF”

by LeoTheKilljoy January 8, 2024

Superwholock

Haha, okay, if you searched this up then you’re either a really weird time traveller from the early 2010s, a poor, doomed soul not knowing what’s coming for them, or both. Or maybe you want to see how weird the definitions of this are. Well. Simply put, Superwholock is the reimagining of supernatural, doctor who, and Sherlock Holmes as taking place all in one universe. In other words, tumblr’s worst crossover of the century in the history of ever. It became less prominent in later 2014 following the DashCon……. Incident? Or disaster, whatever, which sparked a theory that the Superwholock fans meeting each other made them realise how unbearable they actually were. (Tumblr user theofficialvincenzo) Superwholock is also an excellent safeword, because it is guaranteed to work as an instant turnoff (tumblr user mcclonalds) basically, Superwholock is hell. If someone mentions Superwholock around you, you have two options:

Option 1: if you’re feeling brave upon hearing the cursed abomination of a word (I mean who the hell thought Superwholock sounded good anyway) then compliment the speaker’s shoelaces, and anticipate a confession to serious burglary on their behalf in response.

Option 2: run, hide, fake your death, and become a missing rogue forever

by LeoTheKilljoy January 8, 2024

Ociffer

A misspelling of ‘officer’ commonly used as a gag in media to indicate that a character got caught driving under the influence and are sucky as hell at hiding it for obvious reasons. It’s a pretty funny gag but I think the swapping of ‘officer’ and ‘problem’ in the sentence ‘what seems to be the problem, officer?’ like they did in South Park once (among other shows) is funnier but oh well

“Excuse me sir, do you have any idea about the speed at which you were driving?”
“Erm……… nnoooo, ociffer, I haven’t the foggiest—”
“…Did you just call me ociffer?”

by LeoTheKilljoy January 7, 2024

Cunt

A word that’s considered super vulgar in America for some reason, but in most other English speaking countries it’s pretty much just a synonym for bastard. Apparently refers to the labia minora or some other vagina part

This is my friend Tony, he’s a little cunt but I love him

by LeoTheKilljoy January 6, 2024

September 17

Birthday of cool people. Apparently also some kind of (inter?)national hug your loved one(s) day. And a pretty common birthday. Nevertheless, it is the day true awesomeness was invented, and anyone born on this day is one hell of a cool bastard.

I was born on September 17th therefore this is nothing but truth. I know stuff

by LeoTheKilljoy January 6, 2024

Mary Sue

A main character, usually a girl, who’s a clear self-insert into the story and is annoyingly powerful and important. Often stereotyped with unusually-coloured hair when it is parodied. Almost always supposed to be a ‘clumsy dork’ character who’s unpopular (even though they’re friends with their entire school usually and are almost always dating the guy the supposed ‘popular girl’ (whom everyone actually hates) wanted first but let’s not question that I guess)

Marinnete from miraculous ladybug is such a goddamn Mary sue

by LeoTheKilljoy January 6, 2024