Len Bakerloo's definitions

proximate

prox· i· mate | \ˈpräk-sə-mət \ 1) A person you mate with who is close to you by kinship or in some other way. 2) A person who mates with you on behalf of another, i.e. a proxy mate.

Jack: Hey, are you and your second cousin still fuck buddies?
John: No. She moved to California, but she sent me Jill as her proximate, and she's awesome.
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Mike Pence is Donald Trump's kochsucker proximate for the one percenters.

by Len Bakerloo December 22, 2018

transnamed

Being given a name at birth (or adopting one later) that is not normally associated with the societally recognized gender you were born with (or choose later).

Johnny Cash wrote a song about a transnamed cisgendered Boy Named Sue.

by Len Bakerloo December 16, 2018

subroutine

Anything a sub does for a dom on a routine basis without needing to be told.

We're headed for divorce. This is the third time in two years that I've come home and you haven't cleaned the house, cooked dinner and greeted me at the door on all fours. You know it's part of your subroutine.

by Len Bakerloo June 18, 2018

Binary

A gender preference that can be encoded using a single bit in a computer, where, by convention, 0=Male and 1=Female. This standard was established in a truce between the religious conservative camp who believe that men come first and the radical feminist camp who believe men count for nothing

I'm hexadecimal. I don't identify as binary.

by Len Bakerloo June 17, 2018

Double Word Float

Two single word (or 64 binary digits) capable of expressing numbers as large as 1.7 E 308, which is 1 E 206 times the number of atoms in the known universe. (1.7 E 308 means 1.7 times 10 raised to the 308th power.)

Why did the system crash? After we got sued for coding gender as binary we decided to use double word floats instead. That worked in beta test in New York but when we brought California on-line the whole thing crashed.

by Len Bakerloo June 17, 2018

Homeland Security

A federal agency established after 9/11/2001 to carry on the work of the terrorists. They help us fear nature by taking over FEMA and diverting funds that would have been spent on hurricane relief to equip meter maids with assault rifles. Constant reminders to "report suspicious behavior" to the police have made us fear each other and criminalized social anxiety disorder. Thanks to their fine efforts, being too shy to ask a girl for sex is now as likely to get you investigated as asking a girl for sex.

If you want to know why you feel insecure blame Homeland Security.

by Len Bakerloo June 16, 2018

Orgy Dome

The sole reason Burning Man exists.

Skybird: Didn't we meet last year at the Orgy Dome at Burning Man? Sunflower: I've never been to the Orgy Dome. Skybird: Neither have I. It must have been two other people.

by Len Bakerloo June 16, 2018