Len Bakerloo's definitions

Homeland Security

A federal agency established after 9/11/2001 to carry on the work of the terrorists. They help us fear nature by taking over FEMA and diverting funds that would have been spent on hurricane relief to equip meter maids with assault rifles. Constant reminders to "report suspicious behavior" to the police have made us fear each other and criminalized social anxiety disorder. Thanks to their fine efforts, being too shy to ask a girl for sex is now as likely to get you investigated as asking a girl for sex.

If you want to know why you feel insecure blame Homeland Security.

by Len Bakerloo June 16, 2018

fuckcard

/fək kahrd/

Noun.

1. A calling card for anyone whose business primarily involves fucking others, e.g. prostitutes, politicians, lawyers, etc.
2. A card from any card game designed to fuck with your head or empty your wallet.

That game might have 15% black cards and 85% white cards but they are 100% fuckcards. I'd tell you the name of the game but the fucktards that run the company had their dipshit lawyers send me a C&D letter so I can't. If you need the name of the lawyer I'm sure I have her fuckcard around here somewhere.

by Len Bakerloo January 19, 2019

interdisintermediation

The process of getting between you and an intermediary in the name of getting intermediaries out of the way. Recruiters intermediate by getting in between of employers and job seekers for a fee. Disintermediation of the job market would get the recruiters out of the picture. Interdisintermediation is getting between you and a recruiter in the name of getting recruiters out of the picture.

In theory LinkedIn should help me find my next job directly but nothing happened until I paid them a fee. Then I got flooded with spam from recruiters. Great job at interdisintermediation.

by Len Bakerloo December 13, 2020

Nomic

Nomic is an initially boring finite game created in 1982 by the philosopher Peter Suber.

On your turn you roll a die and add its value to your score. The first person to reach 100 wins and the game ends. However, each player can also propose a new rule or a modification of an old one on their turn and if the rule is adopted then the game can morph into something else.

Bob: "Let's play Nomic."

Carol: "Great. I propose the first rule is that we change the name to NotNomic and replace the number 100 in the win state with Infinity. That way we have an infinite game we can enjoy playing forever."

Bob, Carol, Ted, Alice: "Aye."

Ted: "The ayes have it. The rule is adopted. I propose we change the name to NullNomic and change the number in the win state to zero so the game is over before it starts and we don't have to play at all."

Bob, Carol, Ted, Alice: "Aye."

Alice: "The Ayes have it. Boy am I glad that shenanigans is over. Anyone up for a beer?"

by Len Bakerloo June 9, 2019

pre-thunk

Thoughts that you are wise enough to formulate before they are needed.

The reason I can respond to your inane bullshit with a coherent argument expressed succinctly and delivered in but six seconds is because I have pre-thunk thoughts and you are a parrot parroting the parrots on Fox News.

by Len Bakerloo March 15, 2019

Double Word Float

Two single word (or 64 binary digits) capable of expressing numbers as large as 1.7 E 308, which is 1 E 206 times the number of atoms in the known universe. (1.7 E 308 means 1.7 times 10 raised to the 308th power.)

Why did the system crash? After we got sued for coding gender as binary we decided to use double word floats instead. That worked in beta test in New York but when we brought California on-line the whole thing crashed.

by Len Bakerloo June 17, 2018

transnamed

Being given a name at birth (or adopting one later) that is not normally associated with the societally recognized gender you were born with (or choose later).

Johnny Cash wrote a song about a transnamed cisgendered Boy Named Sue.

by Len Bakerloo December 16, 2018