Len Bakerloo's definitions
A federal agency established after 9/11/2001 to carry on the work of the terrorists. They help us fear nature by taking over FEMA and diverting funds that would have been spent on hurricane relief to equip meter maids with assault rifles. Constant reminders to "report suspicious behavior" to the police have made us fear each other and criminalized social anxiety disorder. Thanks to their fine efforts, being too shy to ask a girl for sex is now as likely to get you investigated as asking a girl for sex.
by Len Bakerloo June 16, 2018
Get the Homeland Securitymug. Cocktail.
Recipe:
3 oz. Vodka
1 oz. Diströya Spirits
1/2 Ice Cube
You order a double by indicating you want a whole ice cube. Scale appropriately (e.g., if ordered with two ice cubes, scale by four). Illegal in most states.
Recipe:
3 oz. Vodka
1 oz. Diströya Spirits
1/2 Ice Cube
You order a double by indicating you want a whole ice cube. Scale appropriately (e.g., if ordered with two ice cubes, scale by four). Illegal in most states.
First Person: I'll have a Sam Adams and my friend will have a Lucky Destroyer with one ice cube.
Second Person: Ooooh, that sounds interesting, but I want three ice cubes. Why is it called that?
Barman: Because one of you is going to get lucky and the other is going to get destroyed.
Second Person: Well, let's stop after this one drink.
First Person: That was the plan.
Second Person: Ooooh, that sounds interesting, but I want three ice cubes. Why is it called that?
Barman: Because one of you is going to get lucky and the other is going to get destroyed.
Second Person: Well, let's stop after this one drink.
First Person: That was the plan.
by Len Bakerloo March 21, 2017
Get the Lucky Destroyermug. /fək kahrd/
Noun.
1. A calling card for anyone whose business primarily involves fucking others, e.g. prostitutes, politicians, lawyers, etc.
2. A card from any card game designed to fuck with your head or empty your wallet.
Noun.
1. A calling card for anyone whose business primarily involves fucking others, e.g. prostitutes, politicians, lawyers, etc.
2. A card from any card game designed to fuck with your head or empty your wallet.
That game might have 15% black cards and 85% white cards but they are 100% fuckcards. I'd tell you the name of the game but the fucktards that run the company had their dipshit lawyers send me a C&D letter so I can't. If you need the name of the lawyer I'm sure I have her fuckcard around here somewhere.
by Len Bakerloo January 19, 2019
Get the fuckcardmug. The repeated patching up of a flimsy argument for a ridiculous proposition made by someone you’d think would be smarter.
Reductape is Latin for the process of repeatedly patching something until all you see is the patch and you can no longer see the thing being patched.
Absurdium is an isotope of Einsteinium (Es, atomic number 99) which when present in the brain of even the hugest genius renders them stupid.
Reductape is Latin for the process of repeatedly patching something until all you see is the patch and you can no longer see the thing being patched.
Absurdium is an isotope of Einsteinium (Es, atomic number 99) which when present in the brain of even the hugest genius renders them stupid.
Did you hear Trump’s latest claims that the election was rigged?
Yes. It was a case of reductape add absurdium.
Yes. It was a case of reductape add absurdium.
by Len Bakerloo December 5, 2020
Get the reductape add absurdiummug. An extremely politically correct variant of "person" introduced as an alternative to the use of "perdaughter" to appease women and because "person and/or perdaughter and/or other" is both cumbersome and offensive to the non-binary.
Person A: Honey, the postman just delivered the mail.
Perchild B: Two years ago we were told that the proper term is "postperson" because it was determined that the "postman" is offensive to women. Last year regulators realized that "person" is offencive to daughters so now must use "postperchild" otherwise we won't get any mail.
Person A: May I refer to him as Fred.
Perchild B: No. That is offensive to all people not named Fred.
Person A: But his name is Fred.
Perchild B: That's irrelevant. And, if you ever call me "honey" again I'm going to divorce you.
Perchild B: Two years ago we were told that the proper term is "postperson" because it was determined that the "postman" is offensive to women. Last year regulators realized that "person" is offencive to daughters so now must use "postperchild" otherwise we won't get any mail.
Person A: May I refer to him as Fred.
Perchild B: No. That is offensive to all people not named Fred.
Person A: But his name is Fred.
Perchild B: That's irrelevant. And, if you ever call me "honey" again I'm going to divorce you.
by Len Bakerloo January 8, 2019
Get the perchildmug. prox· i· mate | \ˈpräk-sə-mət \ 1) A person you mate with who is close to you by kinship or in some other way. 2) A person who mates with you on behalf of another, i.e. a proxy mate.
Jack: Hey, are you and your second cousin still fuck buddies?
John: No. She moved to California, but she sent me Jill as her proximate, and she's awesome.
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Mike Pence is Donald Trump's kochsucker proximate for the one percenters.
John: No. She moved to California, but she sent me Jill as her proximate, and she's awesome.
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Mike Pence is Donald Trump's kochsucker proximate for the one percenters.
by Len Bakerloo December 22, 2018
Get the proximatemug. Notnomic was created by people who want to explore different forms of governance because although Nomic was originally invented by philosopher Peter Suber for that purpose, the discussion had become idiotic. Although (as of 2019) that hasn't happened to Notnomic yet, Nomicisists predict it will by the end of the 2020 election cycle, and if Trump is reelected for a third term in 2024, they expect Notnomic to be outlawed.
Note: Mathematical purists refer to the game as Aleph-Naught Nomic so as to make it clear that the game has a “countably infinite” number of turns in contrast to irrationally infinite number of turns. Regardless, Aleph-Naught Nomic's not Nomic.
Note: Mathematical purists refer to the game as Aleph-Naught Nomic so as to make it clear that the game has a “countably infinite” number of turns in contrast to irrationally infinite number of turns. Regardless, Aleph-Naught Nomic's not Nomic.
Bob: I'd like to call the 116th session of Notnomic to order.
Carol: I've rolled a 3. That makes the score for the Democrats 142,311,102 vs. 142,311,099 for the Republicans. I propose that we get rid of the filibuster. May we have a vote?
Ted: I've rolled a 5. That gives me the floor. First, I would like to point out that as a representative of the great state of Alabama, which joined the union on the fourteenth of December in, 1819, and which – if my math serves me right – is more than 100 years ago – has, I might add, the best primary school mathematics teachers in this great Union, who I will propose in forthcoming legislation that we honor by making ...
Alice: If we haven't repealed the second amendment yet, would someone please shoot that guy.
Carol: I've rolled a 3. That makes the score for the Democrats 142,311,102 vs. 142,311,099 for the Republicans. I propose that we get rid of the filibuster. May we have a vote?
Ted: I've rolled a 5. That gives me the floor. First, I would like to point out that as a representative of the great state of Alabama, which joined the union on the fourteenth of December in, 1819, and which – if my math serves me right – is more than 100 years ago – has, I might add, the best primary school mathematics teachers in this great Union, who I will propose in forthcoming legislation that we honor by making ...
Alice: If we haven't repealed the second amendment yet, would someone please shoot that guy.
by Len Bakerloo June 27, 2019
Get the Notnomicmug.