Lee Farmie's definitions

snecklifter

A beer ponce. A sneck is an old-fashioned latch and a snecklifter was someone who would lift the latch on a door of a pub, poke their head into the bar to see if there was the friendly face of someone who would buy him a pint.

Lent its name to a dark ale brewed by Jennings of Cockermouth in the English Lake District.

As usual, Terry, a notorious snecklifter, left the pub without buying a round.

by Lee Farmie October 15, 2004

Floating cheese

A prolonged conversation of no meaning undertaken exclusively by males under the influence of large quantities of alcohol. Nothing of any value is established through such intercourse the purpose of which is purely for the entertainment of those so engaged. Although utterly hilarious to those participating in a floating cheese conversation such talk invariably leaves sober bystanders and all females wholly perplexed.

The term comes from one such meaningless conversation in which the relative bouyancy of cheese was hotly debated for many hours.

The six old friends enjoyed an evening of strong ale and floating cheese.

by Lee Farmie October 6, 2004

greasy spoon

A cheap snack bar or cafeteria serving inexpensive cholesterol-heavy food to the working classes.

A full English fry up, sickly ketchup, astringent malt vinegar and a mug of boiling hot tea all sitting on a cracked formica table. Bloody marvellous!

The Rendezvous on the A22 at Wapses Lodge, between Whyteleafe and Caterham.

by Lee Farmie October 15, 2004

Sutherland rules

There often comes a time in any competitive sport, game or pastime where the rules are mysteriously changed to favour one participant. This participant will convince all his or her opponents that these are the commonly accepted and legitimate rules regardless of available published regulations which are to hand and which they seem to contradict.

The person asserting these revised rules will be strongly advantaged and will almost invariably win as a result of these rules. These are Sutherland Rules.

Jim won the crazy golf competition, but only by adopting the Sutherland rules.

by Lee Farmie October 6, 2004

bruno's arm

A stool rendered unflushable by its sheer enormity. Named after fomer British heavyweight boxer, Frank Bruno.

Angela quickly moved on to the next lavatory having been horrified by the sight of bruno's arm in the first.

by Lee Farmie October 15, 2004

stuffed shirt

A well turned out gentleman with the brains of a rocking-horse.

Although Hayden gave the impression of being a sophisticated man about town, he was in fact a complete stuffed shirt.

by Lee Farmie October 15, 2004

Toilet hugging

Almost complete incapacitation due to excessive alcohol consumption. A toilet-hugger is likely to wake up in the morning on the lavatory floor with a raging hangover.

Digby was left toilet-hugging drunk having had one pint of Strongbow too many at the golf club on Saturday night.

by Lee Farmie October 15, 2004