38 definitions by Lea Bao

pandemic pandemonium

Please dont take risks,

dont mix with crowds,

just dont,

you useless prick.

I am no better
pretending its 2018
in Riva del Garda
diving in with fellow germans

pandemic pandemonium

by Lea Bao July 30, 2020

December 4

After the party you disappeared. I used tar on the steps so you would leave your sneaker and I could identify you on the next party. Your step bros were so mean they tried to trick me into believing it was them i was looking for.
But thankfully the pigeons betrayed the fucking snitches.

Is it..? Yes it is December 4.
Open it!

by Lea Bao December 4, 2020

cummer

Sometimes the true reason for something sounds more unbelievable than the made up excuse.

Hey i started an affair with my neighbour. Thats why i havent been in touch.
(vs true reason: i left my phone on the bus. Thats why i havent been able to stay in touch)
- oh what a cummer

by Lea Bao July 24, 2020

balance it out

drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes after a 90 minute hiit workout.
eat roast pork while deep cleaning the house.
staying single forever while loving one human.

"I really do seem to balance it out."

by Lea Bao November 23, 2020

pubby

Its so damn hard being 16. Its even harder being a 16 y o girl.

And its the toughest being a 16 y o girl with a smartphone.

This pubby with a phone is the sweetest, most adorable angel ever.
Also the most unpredictable, insecure, harsh on herself.

by Lea Bao July 29, 2020

30th of November

It's my personal Flowery Dress Day.

On this day i commemorate the unison between two humans.

I wear a colourful dress often with floral prints that emphasizes my curves or parts that should be curvy but are not. Not only do I wear it, i even leave the house with it and meet the other human thereby demonstrating my will and desire to please their eye. I might even blush a little when they give me that look going back in time when I was a young woman helplessly amoureuse and romantic.
I love November 30! It's the best!

"Honey, I ... (blush blush blush)"
"Huh?"
"Its the 30th of November!"
"Oh!"

by Lea Bao November 30, 2020

euphoria

to send her an attractive but stupid male so she can get her rocks off until they meet

"I had to lease that Tommy to entertain Maggie. Otherwise I would have fought for dear life. Her euphoria is scary."

by Lea Bao November 26, 2020