Lancaster's Second Finest's definitions
The right of any woman to own as many cats as she bloody wants, no matter how much her long-suffering man bitch might object.
I have to get up at 5am every day to amuse 22 loud moggies, while she stays in bed snoring. Bloody universal Duffrage.
by Lancaster's Second Finest July 17, 2015
Get the Universal Duffrage mug.Haemorrhoids, but in Birmingham.
While Simon’s piles were clearly the size of Birmingham, this did not make them actual Brumgrapes.
Brummie: “Cowin’ ‘ell, me bumgrapes are worse than Aston Villa’s defence.”
Accredited General Practitioner: “Then I fear you may have Brumgrapes.”
Brummie: “Cowin’ ‘ell, me bumgrapes are worse than Aston Villa’s defence.”
Accredited General Practitioner: “Then I fear you may have Brumgrapes.”
by Lancaster's Second Finest February 12, 2025
Get the Brumgrapes mug.Everyone else was there at 7pm, but I mortlocked it and rolled up at 9.30.
Simon is known for mortlocking it when distracted by well-built Russian sailors.
The baby mortlocked it, so had to be induced.
Simon is known for mortlocking it when distracted by well-built Russian sailors.
The baby mortlocked it, so had to be induced.
by Lancaster's Second Finest February 1, 2014
Get the Mortlocking It mug.Having discovered Siagra, Simon was finally able to put away the lollipop stick and elastic band.
Simon: "Oh, it's not happening...I'm sorry love, it must be the drink."
Woman: "Have you considered taking Siagra?"
Simon: "Oh, it's not happening...I'm sorry love, it must be the drink."
Woman: "Have you considered taking Siagra?"
by Lancaster's Second Finest August 21, 2017
Get the Siagra mug.A human being who, often due to an excessively chilli-heavy diet, has not produced a solid stool in years.
Simon, a notable Sludge Cannon, is barred from every public lavatory in the north of England.
"Mummy, does Uncle Simon wear plastic underwear because he's a sludge cannon?"
"No, dear, it's because he's a massive pervert."
"Mummy, does Uncle Simon wear plastic underwear because he's a sludge cannon?"
"No, dear, it's because he's a massive pervert."
by Lancaster's Second Finest June 12, 2016
Get the Sludge Cannon mug.The act of inadvertently voiding one's bowels in a hilariously inappropriate place, such as friend's wardrobe.
In retrospect, declaring a history of Geoffecation on his CV was probably doing little to improve Simon's employment prospects.
Heindrich got really drunk on Belgian beer, and woke up the next day to find he had Geoffecated in his flatmate's antique trombone.
Although some people believe it to be an urban myth, Simon did indeed Geoffecate his pants in the frozen goods aisle of a local supermarket.
Heindrich got really drunk on Belgian beer, and woke up the next day to find he had Geoffecated in his flatmate's antique trombone.
Although some people believe it to be an urban myth, Simon did indeed Geoffecate his pants in the frozen goods aisle of a local supermarket.
by Lancaster's Second Finest July 30, 2017
Get the Geoffecation mug.Very much like a sludge cannon, only with the endless torrent of molten shite pouring forth from the mouth, rather than the anus
The average Sludge Bannon will last six to eight months in a political administration before Donald Trump fires him for not being quite racist enough.
by Lancaster's Second Finest August 21, 2017
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