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Lajopi 292's definitions

crack spastic

An insult used by police officers from one station in central London, to describe a person who is completely obnoxious, irritating, incompetent or just plain stupid to such a degree it's funny, can be a member of the public or a colleague, usually a senior officer. Its use is mainly limited to one police station, but is starting to spread
"did you hear that bloke I nicked, saying he was going to get me sacked 'cos his uncle's a barrister?"

"yeah, what an utter fuckin crack spastic!"
by lajopi 292 August 10, 2007
mugGet the crack spasticmug.

Wren

Something sailors in the Royal Navy have sex with, if they're too lazy to wank
I woke up with a Wren this morning, she looked like meatloaf. Ug.
by lajopi 292 August 10, 2007
mugGet the Wrenmug.

Mod Plod

Do you remember the Mod Plod beating those peace protestors at Greenham Common? Good work fellas...
by lajopi 292 August 13, 2007
mugGet the Mod Plodmug.

LOB

UK Police abbreviation meaning 'Load Of Bollocks' which can be used in front of the public without causing offence.
"Cancel that back up, this pub fight is an LOB"
by Lajopi 292 December 4, 2007
mugGet the LOBmug.

DWB

Something that plastic wannabe (but not gonnabe) Gangstas in the UK always shout when they get pulled over by the police, because they watch too much TV and think they're homies in South Central LA, rather than a quiet suburb of London. Frequently used by white upper middle class students just prior to being arrested for drink driving. Maybe a respectable saying used legitimately in the USA, but in Europe, it's just gay.
"Here we go again you Po-Po mofo, what's wrong offic-ah, you 'tink u got me for DWB?"

"Sorry sir, why are you speaking with an American accent when you're a student from Oxford.....who's drugs are these in the ashtray?"
by lajopi 292 August 10, 2007
mugGet the DWBmug.

Nevada Spike Shooter

A hopefully mythical sexual act/prank where an unsuspecting tourist is flown from Vegas into the desert aboard a pink helicopter then forced to sit astride a cactus with their bare bottoms. Footage of such incidents may later appear on the internet. Also known as 'Sugdens Delight'
"Hey dude I haven't seen you sit down since Dawson's stag night"

"Yeah, we went to vegas and I got drunk and did the Nevada Spike Shooter, they operate next week"
by lajopi 292 February 14, 2009
mugGet the Nevada Spike Shootermug.

Dive Master

By day a polite and responsible respectable dive instructor, usually found somewhere in a tropical climate teaching tourists to dive in a safe and responsible manner, by night a drunk womanising chain smoking inhabitant of any given beach bar, destined for kidney dialysis in later life. Cayman Island divemasters are reputed to be the most outlandish
"did you see that guy fighting and vomiting at the same time in the bar last night? I think he was a Dive Master"
by lajopi 292 August 11, 2007
mugGet the Dive Mastermug.

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