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Lajopi 292's definitions

crack spastic

An insult used by police officers from one station in central London, to describe a person who is completely obnoxious, irritating, incompetent or just plain stupid to such a degree it's funny, can be a member of the public or a colleague, usually a senior officer. Its use is mainly limited to one police station, but is starting to spread
"did you hear that bloke I nicked, saying he was going to get me sacked 'cos his uncle's a barrister?"

"yeah, what an utter fuckin crack spastic!"
by lajopi 292 August 10, 2007
mugGet the crack spasticmug.

Nevada Spike Shooter

A hopefully mythical sexual act/prank where an unsuspecting tourist is flown from Vegas into the desert aboard a pink helicopter then forced to sit astride a cactus with their bare bottoms. Footage of such incidents may later appear on the internet. Also known as 'Sugdens Delight'
"Hey dude I haven't seen you sit down since Dawson's stag night"

"Yeah, we went to vegas and I got drunk and did the Nevada Spike Shooter, they operate next week"
by lajopi 292 February 14, 2009
mugGet the Nevada Spike Shootermug.

Dive Master

By day a polite and responsible respectable dive instructor, usually found somewhere in a tropical climate teaching tourists to dive in a safe and responsible manner, by night a drunk womanising chain smoking inhabitant of any given beach bar, destined for kidney dialysis in later life. Cayman Island divemasters are reputed to be the most outlandish
"did you see that guy fighting and vomiting at the same time in the bar last night? I think he was a Dive Master"
by lajopi 292 August 11, 2007
mugGet the Dive Mastermug.

Getting off at Fratton

British Royal Navy term for the withdrawal method of contraception, Fratton being the last railway station before arriving in Portsmouth, which is the end of the line.
Matelot 1: "Firkin 'ell mate, that's a right swamp donkey you've pulled, do you need a condom"

Matelot 2: "no mate, I'm getting off at Fratton"
by Lajopi 292 October 12, 2008
mugGet the Getting off at Frattonmug.

submariner

Steely eyed stern jawed salt encrusted killers from the deep, prowling seas in their sleek black messanger of death
Royal Navy Submariners eat their young, oh yeah, watch out skimmers...
by lajopi 292 August 11, 2007
mugGet the submarinermug.

Kak Pipe Cosmonaut

Anyone, gay or straight, who is obsessed with anal sex and constantly takes their obsession to new heights.
"Why are you walking like that?"

"My new man's a real Kak Pipe Cosmonaut"
by lajopi 292 February 26, 2008
mugGet the Kak Pipe Cosmonautmug.

Strafing Run

To masturbate furiously onto a girl's face until you ejaculate
"My gitlfriends got the pink eye after I did a strafing run on her face last night"
by Lajopi 292 October 12, 2008
mugGet the Strafing Runmug.

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