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Krakky McKraken's definitions

hillbilly haiku

A poem, spoken by hillbillies, that *sounds* something like haiku but doesn't scan like it. A hillbilly haiku doesn't fit the 5-7-5 syllable scheme, or even have three lines, because hillbillies can't count.
This is a hillbilly haiku.

Dead dogs
Dead, dead dogs.
by Krakky McKraken October 9, 2005
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purplepotamus

The most feared of all office animals. Usually dresses in purple and has purple hair and purple hide. Its official name is Purplepotamus Dottiensis. Its roar can be heard for miles. It is notorious for being lazy. It has a terrible temper and it is dangerous to approach it. Also known as FAPLAW, or "Fat-Ass-Psychotic-Lazy-Ass-Windbag." Looks like a cross between Mimi from The Drew Carey Show and a rhinoceros.
The Purplepotamus spends most of its free time whining and shopping online.
by Krakky McKraken July 21, 2006
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Peepseclette

A bicycle made from marshmallows, popular in France.
Ride my peepseclette, my marshmallow bike.
by Krakky McKraken October 2, 2005
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buffalump

The buffalump on the back of a full-grown male bison can be as much as 1/5 its height.
by Krakky McKraken October 9, 2005
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Cuntelupagus

A big fat cunt who can't keep her big snout out of other peoples' business. A distant, more enormous cousin of an Aardvark. (Rhymes with the Sesame Street character Snuffleupagus.)
We never feared running out of supplies, since every Monday morning, before doing any work, the Cuntelupagus sent a delightfully "cheery" e-mail to us letting us know what we had to buy.
by Krakky McKraken August 5, 2007
mugGet the Cuntelupagusmug.

Little Caesar

Pompous busybody who stands up during meetings to publicly embarrass themselves by giving passionate but utterly false and/or idiotic speeches. They're also very bossy and always have opinions about subjects they know nothing about.
Clem: Elaine turned into Little Caesar this morning and started ranting about the change in the dress code policy, so the others all started throwing half-eaten bagels at her.
by Krakky McKraken November 12, 2006
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scump

1. (verb) The act of stumbling over an invisible bump in the floor.

2. (noun) The sound one makes when skumping. Usually sounds like a simian grunt.

3. (proper verb) A highly exaggerated form of stumbling performed by a Scape (or Skape). *Perform* is the operative word here. An ordinary scump is more than a regular trip or bump anyway. When done by a Scape, Scumping (note the capitalization) involves wild gestures, blood-curdling shrieks of terror and pain. It is always followed by imaginary injuries and paranoid accusations.

While a normal scump could be the result of tripping over a previously-unseen bump, a Scump is always done for attention and never involves any physical contact, except whatever the Scape ends up falling into (a barrel, a shelf, a table, etc). A Scump has no discernible cause, though the Scape usually tries to blame them on a roadblock of some sort which was purposely left in its way. If ignored, a Scump will be forgotten, though it might resurface in future tales.

Usual suspect causes of a Scump include tables, barrels on the other side of the room, cracks in the floor, and errant dust particles.
1. "Hey, Zeke, what happened?"

"I was headed to the conference room, and suddenly I tripped on a scump."

2. (Walking across the hall)

"Hey, Clem! How're you - ooffff! Scump!"

3. "Someone must have put that table in my way on purpose, because I never saw it before and I fell and..."

"Oh, great. The Scape just Scumped again."
by Krakky McKraken September 3, 2006
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