philosophy

"Philosophy- A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing." --Ambrose Bierce
It was late one night when I was on a road trip with my two friends, Brian and Laura, when we decided to pull over to the side of the road and retire.

"Looks like you'll be sleeping in the car while Laura and I have the tent," Brian said.

"Here's the blanket," he continued, "You'll be fine with this, won't you?"

"Yeah," I said.

"Are you sure?"

"How is one sure of anything?"

"Or that there is any thing to be sure of," he added.

We both nodded, contemplating the profundity.
by Killing Kittens October 06, 2004
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Fuckface

A person with penises for eyes. Very inconvenient, as you can imagine, but perhaps they could be of use in the porn industry.
My friend Kevin once said to me, in a fit of drunken stupidity, "Dude, I wish my eyes were penises!"

Lo and behold, the fates decided to agree with his request and grant it in the most hideous manner possible, for when he awoke the next day, instead of gazing at the ceiling above him, an inflamed phallus emerged from each eyelid.

He soon found himself standing on street corners, destitude and holding up a cardboard sign that read "Please be my friend" while civilians passed by and laughed, for he couldn't hide his erections, and when limp, his new penis-eyes looked hideous as ever. Kevin sat down and began to weep, though it was naught but urine trickling down his cheeks.

Truly, a lesson is to be learned from all this: Be careful what you wish for!
by Killing Kittens October 20, 2004
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suicide

The most sincere and socially responsible reaction to self-awareness.
You could endd it all, but you just don't have the guts.
by Killing Kittens January 17, 2005
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evolutionist

Supposedly a word for someone who believes (in actuality, has knowledge of) evolution. This is a funny word because you don't find it anywhere outside creationist websites.
That would make me an evolutionist, if I can use that word outside of the pointless evolution/creation debate.
by Killing Kittens November 16, 2004
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evil

A deterministic philosophy used to justify selfish extremes and deny responsibility for personal actions, even if they bring harm to others. Those who are evil almost always rationalize their actions and often despise the terms "good" and "evil" because it is much easier to deny moral absolutes than it is to acknowledge them.

Theologically speaking, evil is said to be the absence of good, or more specifically mans isolation from God, brought about not through Gods will but mankinds own doing.
Human beings are not black and white, but good and evil are.
by Killing Kittens June 23, 2004
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truth

That which is based on fact.
Actually, now that I think about it, what is true is not necessarily factual.
by Killing Kittens June 11, 2004
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tattoo

Facial tattoos always work out REALLY well.
by Killing Kittens November 29, 2006
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