51 definitions by Keifermail
Flatulence of the worst kind. A severe fart that is like an obscene phone call from nature. The air--dank, fetid, unsavory and far from fresh--feels as if it is being exhaled into one's face from a nuclear blast channeled through an unkempt brown eye. Sometimes the smell even tastes like effluvious rotting death- beer vomit, infected diarrhea, gangrene, and the mystery smell of the river entering the ocean at low tide, amplifying the intrusion of feculent compost. It is obscene and repulsive, harsh and violent at the same time. In close proximity, miles from the barking bowels of the guilty anus, the air maintains this quality of putrid death, although unknown where it acquired a tinge of Satan's rectum, perhaps due to fumes expelled by tormented souls asses being delivered by rancid demons.
A smell awoke him. It was a scent as old as time. It was a hundred aromas of a thousand skunks. It was the tang of sweaty underarm. It was the musk of rough anal sex. It was the muscular rot of Gruyère cheese in urine. It was the spice of rotting savorous road kill. Meaty and redolent of death with decay and repugnant rot. It was horrid and offensive and nauseating and obscene. It was solid and alive - so alive! And it was close, lying right next to him in fact. The vapors invaded his nostrils and his hair rose to their roots. His eyes were as heavy as manhole covers, but he opened them. Through the dying calm inside him snaked the horrible realization that she had expelled another heinous anus fragrance.
by Keifermail April 15, 2014
by Keifermail January 14, 2018
n. a person who goes to the docter/ER feigning illness in the hopes that they may receive a prescription for their drug of choice. Characterized by the person claiming to have allergies to every drug but the one they want. Much to the seekers dismay, health care providers are taught in school to recognize their obvious addiction.
"Don't believe him, Floyd is a drug seeker; allergic to everything but Percocet, he's here everyday, and was arrested last week for blowing a guy for half a perc."
by Keifermail July 28, 2008
by Keifermail September 6, 2009
A coup de grace where one drags their finger through their ass and wipes it under a rivals nose. Though, not used very often after adolescence, a dookie finger carries more weight than a slap in the face with a white glove.
Jacob wanted to give her a dirty sanchez before she dumped him but she wouldn't let him tap that ass, so he had to settle for a dookie finger.
by Keifermail August 14, 2009
Occurs when a man rips an especially violent fart at the moment of orgasm thus adding a jet thrust to further explode his seed into the womb. Some men derive extra pleasure from the act of expelling their flatulence whilst they orgasm. Not for the feign of heart, it should only be utilized at the end of a relationship, with a fat chick, or with a really good humored mate.
by Keifermail June 29, 2009
N. Old literary term for sexual copulation. The most famous being a quote from William Shakespeare's Othello where Iago informs the King that his daughter has been having sex with a black man. Though modern high school students generally assume that making the two back beast is a reference to doing it doggy style the literal meaning in the 15th century was sex face to face or in the missionary position.
"If you tell Momma I was spying on you, then I'll tell her you and Jorge were making the two backed beast."
William Shakespeare. Othello. (1605): Iago: ' I am one, sir, that comes to tell you, your daughter and the Moor are now making-the-beast-with-two-backs .'
William Shakespeare. Othello. (1605): Iago: ' I am one, sir, that comes to tell you, your daughter and the Moor are now making-the-beast-with-two-backs .'
by Keifermail July 28, 2008