Chicken Surprise

How the wait staff refers to Ancient Ass-cheese Flowers and Spinach Vomit-bombs at weddings; when the guests ask what one of these disgusting hors d'oeuvres is, the wait staff will say "Chicken Surprise." What happens next usually results in the waiter getting written up or even fired, but it's usually worth it.

Obnoxious Guest: "Hey, what's this thing here?"
Waiter: "Chicken Surprise."
Obnoxious Guest: "Hmph, this doesn't taste like it's chicken."
Waiter, with a fuck-you smile: "Surprise."

by JustAnotherGuy March 18, 2010

Queen of Hearts

The worst kind of friend, the Queen of Hearts refers to any woman who tries to upstage the bride at a wedding by wearing something unbelievably eye-catching - typically "that sexy red dress" or something similar. The Queen of Hearts is a total cunt, and if anyone pulled a similar move at her wedding it would likely trigger the apocalypse. The best way to deal with the Queen of Hearts is to inform her - in the center of the dance floor with everyone watching - that the bachelor party is in the next room over. Failing that, you can always resort to hitting her with an Assembly-safe Shuriken.

"We went to Dan and Molly's wedding Saturday, and her friend Mora pulled a total Queen of Hearts - she showed up in a red dress with more frills than a Congressman's health insurance."

by JustAnotherGuy March 30, 2010

Rhode Island Tourism

A day's worth of activities including looking at brown rivers, old crumbling mills, a windmill they stuck on the side of the interstate, a thoroughly unimpressive skyline, a bunch of wood fires set out on the water, and wrapping it up by driving past the Big Blue Bug on the side of I-95S. Wow.

"It's hard to believe that Rhode Island Tourism is real, especially when you consider there's nothing here and most of the out-of-state plates you see are really just residents dodging the vehicle tax."

by JustAnotherGuy March 08, 2010

Rhode Island Sunday

Better known as Saturday to the rest of the world, on Rhode Island Sunday all the drunks and old people come out of the woodwork to make sure those with lives can't get anywhere without at least a 45-minute commute. The methodology is comprised of several art forms, including the Rhode Island Roadblock, the Rhode Island Rubberneck, and the Flashing-Lights Brake-dance.

The scariest part of Rhode Island Sunday is that when compounded with an actual Sunday, the Rhode Island Sunday drivers and the *real* Sunday drivers are all on the road together, thus creating the greatest clusterfuck this side of Los Angeles.

"We're going to see Tom Petty at the Comcast Center, but the concert's on a Rhode Island Sunday so we have to leave an extra hour early."

by JustAnotherGuy March 08, 2010

Logical Shitstorm Continuum

The Logical Shitstorm Continuum basically amounts to a giant "tank" where all the stupidest, most nonsensical and illogical things that people think, say, and do are being stored by God for the day when He gets to point out what a bunch of fucking assholes the lot of us are and how lucky we are that He forgives us for it. When this "tank" finally hits full, the Apocalypse will begin, the world will end, and a whole lot of people are going to say, "Wow, not only is there a God, but He really did keep track of every stupid thing I said and did."

It also serves as a storage facility for every one of Will Ferrell's movies, though this is keeping in line with the preceding definition.

"Think twice about making that speech, Mr. President. It threatens to break the Logical Shitstorm Continuum, and you don't want that to mark the end of your presidency."

"A new Will Ferrell movie was released this weekend, and the United Nations was relived to find that the Logical Shitstorm Continuum has remained intact."

by JustAnotherGuy February 03, 2010

Workplace Munchausen Syndrome

Disorder in the workplace where the person who does the least (if any) amount of work does the most complaining about "how busy" or "how crazy" the office is in order to garner sympathy from customers. The irony is that the person displaying Workplace Munchausen Syndrome looks like a fool to most of the people they whine to, since they are standing around whining while the workplace grinds on behind them, thus proving that they are irrelevant to the work being performed and/or the biggest slacker in the workplace.

Tami continuously complained about "how crazy" the workplace had been for the last six weeks, despite the fact that her inbox was full, her outbox was empty, and the customer she was complaining to was there to complain that she hadn't processed his check. She clearly has Workplace Munchausen Syndrome.

by JustAnotherGuy March 05, 2013

Assembly-safe Shuriken

Any small but dense food item served as an hors d'oeuvres at a wedding; the Spinach Vomit-bomb is the most common type of Assembly-safe Shuriken. Since there are always dozens of these left over when the cocktail hour has expired, mischievous guests load their pockets with them, then fling them at annoying guests - which is hard to spot when in a room with 225 people. Typical victims include annoying mother-in-laws, the guy who showed up in the white tux with a pickle stashed in his underpants, and that annoying aunt who manages to interrupt every dance and photo opportunity to get her ugly flowered dress and $10 Wal-Mart sneakers into the frame.

"Aunt May was being a total douchehound so I pegged that bitch in the head with an Assembly-safe Shuriken. Now they can get the wedding party photos done while she combs crumbs out of her hair for an hour."

by JustAnotherGuy March 15, 2010