Justanotherguy 's definitions

Rhode Island Traffic Report

Something so fucking predictable they could just record it and play the same tape over and over every day. It's always exactly the same, and ignores anything not within a 2-mile radius of the center of Providence.

"95 North is slow between Thurber's Avenue and the State Offices Exit, 195-westbound is backed up from Broadway to the I-95 split, 95 South is slow from Atwells Avenue to the 146-merge, 146 South you're on your brakes from Admiral Street to the 95 merge, and the 6-10 Connector is backed up to Dean Street...I'm Jim Stearns with your Wheelock Auto Rhode Island Traffic Report."

by JustAnotherGuy March 8, 2010

Chicken Surprise

How the wait staff refers to Ancient Ass-cheese Flowers and Spinach Vomit-bombs at weddings; when the guests ask what one of these disgusting hors d'oeuvres is, the wait staff will say "Chicken Surprise." What happens next usually results in the waiter getting written up or even fired, but it's usually worth it.

Obnoxious Guest: "Hey, what's this thing here?"
Waiter: "Chicken Surprise."
Obnoxious Guest: "Hmph, this doesn't taste like it's chicken."
Waiter, with a fuck-you smile: "Surprise."

by JustAnotherGuy March 18, 2010

Queen of Hearts

The worst kind of friend, the Queen of Hearts refers to any woman who tries to upstage the bride at a wedding by wearing something unbelievably eye-catching - typically "that sexy red dress" or something similar. The Queen of Hearts is a total cunt, and if anyone pulled a similar move at her wedding it would likely trigger the apocalypse. The best way to deal with the Queen of Hearts is to inform her - in the center of the dance floor with everyone watching - that the bachelor party is in the next room over. Failing that, you can always resort to hitting her with an Assembly-safe Shuriken.

"We went to Dan and Molly's wedding Saturday, and her friend Mora pulled a total Queen of Hearts - she showed up in a red dress with more frills than a Congressman's health insurance."

by JustAnotherGuy March 30, 2010

Knuckle Fucker

1. Slang term used for any male douchebag who is rude, disrespectful, belligerent, violent, angst-filled or otherwise aggravating on account of the fact that he can't get laid.

2. Any young male whose only real use is pumping protein samples into socks or garbage pails.

3. A griefer in an MMO.

1. "Hey knuckle fucker, sit down and shut the hell up, and stop making a scene because you're a limp-dicked little douchebag that couldn't get his dick wet if he jumped in a fucking lake."

2. Tuef, Bum, Toneslice, Noobslice, etc.

3. "I'm trying to get my gear fixed but there's some knuckle fucker spawn camping the repair guy." Also see #2.

by JustAnotherGuy July 1, 2008

S.H.I.T.

An acronym that stands for "Sexual Harassment Investigation Team." Because as we all know, 99% of "sexual harassment" claims these days are, in fact, a crock of shit.

Suzy filed a sexual harassment claim against Bob because he said she looked hot in her new outfit. Sounds like a S.H.I.T. case if you ask me.

by JustAnotherGuy December 28, 2004

Assembly-safe Shuriken

Any small but dense food item served as an hors d'oeuvres at a wedding; the Spinach Vomit-bomb is the most common type of Assembly-safe Shuriken. Since there are always dozens of these left over when the cocktail hour has expired, mischievous guests load their pockets with them, then fling them at annoying guests - which is hard to spot when in a room with 225 people. Typical victims include annoying mother-in-laws, the guy who showed up in the white tux with a pickle stashed in his underpants, and that annoying aunt who manages to interrupt every dance and photo opportunity to get her ugly flowered dress and $10 Wal-Mart sneakers into the frame.

"Aunt May was being a total douchehound so I pegged that bitch in the head with an Assembly-safe Shuriken. Now they can get the wedding party photos done while she combs crumbs out of her hair for an hour."

by JustAnotherGuy March 15, 2010

Atheist

An atheist is a person who does not believe in the existence of *ANY* god(s). This term is consistently misused in modern society.

- Refusing to worship God doesn't make one an atheist. If one says things like "well God lets this stuff happen, so I don't believe in him...," it demonstrates that one does believe in God, they just choose not to follow him.

- Many self-proclaimed "atheists" actually hate God. Since it is illogical to hate something you profess does not exist, people who hate God cannot by definition be atheists. If your attitude is "well God lets this happen, so screw Him..." then you're not an atheist.

- People who "don't believe in Jesus" aren't atheists, they're just not Christians. Jews don't believe in Jesus either, that doesn't make them atheists.

- People who say "I'll find out when I get there" aren't atheists, they're agnostics.

- People who join a "National Organization of Atheists" are not atheists; if you don't believe something exists, you don't make a society dedicated to not believing it exists. That's nonsense.

There are very few true atheists in the world. Most "atheists" are actually just people with an axe to grind with God.

by JustAnotherGuy February 12, 2013