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Definitions by Justanotherguy

Spinach Vomit-bomb 

A type of hors d'oeuvres that either comes in a frozen package in the supermarket or is made at a banquet facility for weddings or similar functions. Quite often, the banquet facility gets these nasty little shits from those same supermarket frozen packages. The Spinach Vomit-bomb is a wretched piece of flimsy dough packed with the nastiest, most dried out spinach that tastes more like something you might scrape out of your pool when you reopen it. Typically used more as ammunition (see Assembly-safe Shuriken), these pieces of unforgivably disgusting shit can usually be found in piles on serving trays by the time cocktail hour expires.
Jim: "God, I was almost hungry enough to eat a few of those Spinach Vomit-bombs they were serving."

Jack: "Glad you didn't, now we have more ammo to pelt Aunt Rose and Uncle Dave with."

Rhode Island Tourism 

A day's worth of activities including looking at brown rivers, old crumbling mills, a windmill they stuck on the side of the interstate, a thoroughly unimpressive skyline, a bunch of wood fires set out on the water, and wrapping it up by driving past the Big Blue Bug on the side of I-95S. Wow.
"It's hard to believe that Rhode Island Tourism is real, especially when you consider there's nothing here and most of the out-of-state plates you see are really just residents dodging the vehicle tax."

Rhode Island Traffic Report 

Something so fucking predictable they could just record it and play the same tape over and over every day. It's always exactly the same, and ignores anything not within a 2-mile radius of the center of Providence.
"95 North is slow between Thurber's Avenue and the State Offices Exit, 195-westbound is backed up from Broadway to the I-95 split, 95 South is slow from Atwells Avenue to the 146-merge, 146 South you're on your brakes from Admiral Street to the 95 merge, and the 6-10 Connector is backed up to Dean Street...I'm Jim Stearns with your Wheelock Auto Rhode Island Traffic Report."

Flashing-lights Brake-dance 

The result of a police officer pulling someone over for a traffic violation in Rhode Island. All the people in the state have to stop - not slow down, but fully stop - as they pass the vehicle that's been pulled over to see if it's someone they know. And thus, a single state trooper pulling over someone for speeding during rush hour can grind traffic on the interstate to a complete halt for more than fifteen minutes.
"My commute home should only take 20 minutes, but never takes less than an hour because of the Flashing-lights Brake-dance and the fact that people forget where the fuck Route 4 is every afternoon."

Rhode Island Sunday 

Better known as Saturday to the rest of the world, on Rhode Island Sunday all the drunks and old people come out of the woodwork to make sure those with lives can't get anywhere without at least a 45-minute commute. The methodology is comprised of several art forms, including the Rhode Island Roadblock, the Rhode Island Rubberneck, and the Flashing-Lights Brake-dance.

The scariest part of Rhode Island Sunday is that when compounded with an actual Sunday, the Rhode Island Sunday drivers and the *real* Sunday drivers are all on the road together, thus creating the greatest clusterfuck this side of Los Angeles.
"We're going to see Tom Petty at the Comcast Center, but the concert's on a Rhode Island Sunday so we have to leave an extra hour early."

Just-In-Case Christian 

What people who don't think they need to be forgiven for anything call people who think they'll be forgiven for everything. Normally it's fun to point out hypocrisy, but when the person doing so is being a hypocrite in the process, it threatens to break the Logical Shitstorm Continuum.
"Godless people like to point out all the just-in-case Christians, yet they're no better since they don't think they require forgiveness for anything. Must be nice to always have a clear conscience because you're your own god."

Logical Shitstorm Continuum 

The Logical Shitstorm Continuum basically amounts to a giant "tank" where all the stupidest, most nonsensical and illogical things that people think, say, and do are being stored by God for the day when He gets to point out what a bunch of fucking assholes the lot of us are and how lucky we are that He forgives us for it. When this "tank" finally hits full, the Apocalypse will begin, the world will end, and a whole lot of people are going to say, "Wow, not only is there a God, but He really did keep track of every stupid thing I said and did."

It also serves as a storage facility for every one of Will Ferrell's movies, though this is keeping in line with the preceding definition.
"Think twice about making that speech, Mr. President. It threatens to break the Logical Shitstorm Continuum, and you don't want that to mark the end of your presidency."

"A new Will Ferrell movie was released this weekend, and the United Nations was relived to find that the Logical Shitstorm Continuum has remained intact."
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