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JustAnotherSickFuckOnUrbanDic's definitions

Chaos whore

Someone who tries to cause as much drama and havoc as they possibly can purely for their own entertainment. A chaos whore will do almost anything to cause chaos in their nearby environment depending on how bored they are; they will destroy friendships, ruin lives, and burn down nations simply for the thrill of the drama it creates. Chaos whores will go as far as to lie, steal, cheat, kill, and sabotage just to entertain themselves. Stay safe out there, folks!
Zack: Did you hear the rumors?
Ellen: What rumors?
Zack: That Jack killed Tashira!
Ellen: And who told you that?
Zack: Kevin, he said Jack told him he did it.
Ellen: You believed Kevin? That fucking chaos whore lies all the time!
by JustAnotherSickFuckOnUrbanDic October 11, 2021
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Urban Dictionary

A website designed specifically for people to submit definitions of things written in their own words, whether it be modern slang or otherwise. Let's face it though, nearly everyone who knows about Urban Dictionary knows that 90% of it's definitions are sexual, and those that aren't are likely either racism, retarded trends, or the names of the user's classmates. Many deem this site immature, and "dominated by 10 year olds", and while not 100% true, right to some degree. I mean, the level of vulgar things on here is exponential, and so is the thrill of all the sick fucks who post them, and I myself posted my first definition as an aspiring 10 year old. But as an Urban Dictionary user, I don't hate it, I merely find amusement in the oddity of UD's grand archive, as well as many of UD's exaggerated stereotypes. Too many people seem to assimilate Urban Dictionary with some kind of a hellhole, or a shady ally where a mass of drug dealers hang out, but this is rather exaggerated; Urban Dictionary is more like a crowded bar with drunk people that party like animals, hell, Urban Dictionary is paradise city compared to websites like Twitter and that gas chamber TikTok! But I digress, to say that I'm some kind of exception to the weirdness that controls the mind of a UD user would be like saying that climate change doesn't exist.
I mean, look at my definitions: foick, order 69, dongademon... The top definition of "TITTIES" was made by ME! Just another sick fuck on Urban Dic! So no, I'm definitely not an exception, and people who hate me (and other Urban Dics) just for being a UD user who contributes to that golden 90% are morons. Anyway, I could write a library on this topic, but unfortunately if I recall correctly, Urban Dictionary has a new character limit, so I'll have to stop here.

-Yours truly; Just Another Sick Fuck On Urban Dictionary
by JustAnotherSickFuckOnUrbanDic November 1, 2021
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Alpha Bitch

Someone who is bossy, rude, bitchy, and has no rivals/bullies. While they are almost always found in schools, they can also be found in similar places. An alpha bitch is usually seen as a responsible, inspiring, and helpful leader in the eyes of their superiors (whether that be their teachers, their boss, etc), but that couldn't be farther from the truth, for when their superiors aren't around, they feel like they can rule over everyone and impose restrictions on other people. I should also mention the fact that they feel the need to snitch on people whenever they get the chance, and that can be for the smallest thing, like swearing or breaking the most retarded rule ever, and then they just turn around and do the same god-damned thing, because they know nobody is going to snitch on them, because if they did, their superiors would never believe that the "responsible, helpful, leader" did something bad. An alpha bitch will also, at times, insult people, and when they do, many people around them usually start to laugh, the alpha bitch will continue to roast you like a chicken for however long they please; but god-forbid you EVER have the AUDACITY to insult them back, for if you do, they will play the victim like crazy, then they, along with their friends, will give you a beating for the ages!
Ellen: Hey, Zack, take that retarded bracelet off before I kick you in the balls!
Zack: Why?
Ellen: Why? Because, or else I'll fuck your mom!
*Everyone except for Zack erupts in laughter*
Zack: You have no reason to tell me that, you have no authority over me you stupid retard!
Ellen: Oh my god! We do not say that word! Do you have any idea what that means?
Zack: You said it like one minute ago!
Ellen: It doesn't matter!
*Ellen's friend snitches on Zack*
Kevin: Zack, you idiot! She's an alpha bitch!
Zack: So....?

Kevin: Not only are you in deep shit for saying the R-word, but she's gonna beat you to death for insulting her.
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Tander

Someone who did something wrong by accident; or rather, someone who had good intentions but ended up messing up terribly. This word is derived from Henry Tandey; a British soldier who, during the first world war, stumbled upon a German soldier, wounded and helpless. Tandey simply could not bring himself to just shoot this wounded man in cold blood, and so he refused to shoot him, thinking it was an act of kindness, thus sparing the life of 29 year-old lance corporal Adolf Hitler. In summary; had Henry just shot Hitler, he'd probably had just saved over six million lives, plus the 11 million that would die as a result of the second world war (That was nearly 1% of the world's population at the time).

Because the tander does not know that their good intentions are the shit that will hit the fan, they are technically innocent; depending on how one is to view the situation, of course.

Famous examples of tanders include: Henry Tandey, Qui-Gon Jinn, Alfred Nobel, and whoever cooked the bat soup.
Tashira: Why is this town so divided? I wish everyone would stop fighting and hating each-other!
Ellen: It's all Mike's fault! He started all this by writing that weird E-mail!
Cindy: Nah; Mike's a tander; he couldn't possibly have predicted this.
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Give it a whirl

Kevin: Well... I`ve really never masturbated before...
Ellen: Come on! Give it a whirl!

Misunderstanding at it`s finest!!
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Minor

A stupid made -up word by the government for people who`s will they don`t recognize, the reason that porn and other such things have retarded things called age restrictions on them. If such restrictions were implemented based on maturity, knowledge, and ability instead of age (with the exception of smoking, vaping, and drinking), this world would be a much greater place.
Zack: Yo, can I buy this condom?
Cashier: Sorry, you can`t buy this, you`re a minor.
Zack: So the fuck what? That doesn`t matter, I can be responsible!
Cashier: Well, I wish I could let you, but if I did, I`d be jailed for life.
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Jerkless January

Jerkless January is an event in which, if you failed NNN, you are to go the entire month of January without jerking off, for if you failed NNN, you will be redeemed if you participate in JJ, but if you fail NNN AND JJ, then you will be classified as the inbred fucking failure you are (but only if you decided to participate in NNN (or JJ) in the first place)! People who won NNN can also partake in JJ, anyone is able to do JJ, and besides, I`m sure it would be good for you if you were the retard who decided to participate in Destroy your Dick December.
Fred: Zack, I think I`m gonna participate in Jerkless January this year.
Zack: I believe in you! We may have failed NNN, but we will not fail this month!!
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