6 definitions by Julie the Queen

A person who KNOWINGLY spreads Crabs by fucking everyone in creation and laughs about it.

Also: A person who cock-blocks or pussy-blocks a friend trying to score a piece of ass. This tends to be the drunk or clueless person of the group and their actions are theoretically kicking thier friend in the crotch.
Beth, that Crotch Cracker! She laughed when I told her I had Crabs!

She's a Crotch Cracker, don't hit that.

Also:

Doug is gonna be a Crotch Cracker again tonight and I will go home alone.

That fucking Crotch Cracker pisses me off!
by Julie the Queen November 12, 2007
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When a girl has sex with a guy for the first time and pulls down his pants to find a very tiny penis (like the size of a pinky finger) which causes her to recoil in disappointment and pity.
Julie hung out with Sean yesterday and he totally pinky-scared her. She said she was sick and went home.
by Julie the Queen November 12, 2007
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A female who loves the cock so much that she will suck, lick, face-fuck and deep throat one (or more) for hours without expectation of reciprocation or even sex. She gives blow-jobs that are guaranteed to be top-notch, five star, grade A quality. All men will forever compare any future blow jobs to those of the Cock Queen. She is usually ugly, or at best average looking, and tends to be Fat and hungry. Due to her hideousness she is likely to remain undetected by the female population and is a Moped for the many men that she blows.
"That girl Jenny over there is such a Cock Queen."

"Stop dragging your teeth! Where is the Cock Queen when I need her?"
by Julie the Queen November 12, 2007
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An embarrassingly small penis that is the length and diameter of the average pinky finger. A penis so pathetically tiny that a virgin would not feel it go in. also see: Pinky-scare
You don't want to get with him. Cheryl says he's got a Pinky!

Poor Pinky, it's such a shame 'cause he's a great guy.
by Julie the Queen November 12, 2007
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Referring to a fat girl a guy has slept with or would sleep with but denies it venomously, especially to his friends. He may even ignore her completely unless she is naked on top of his dick. Origin: "Why’s a fat girl like a moped? They're a lot of fun to ride, but you wouldn't want your friends to see you on one."
"I think Mike has been riding a Moped."

"She has the hots for you, she might be fat and ugly but she's still a Moped"
by Julie the Queen November 12, 2007
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A girl who has had more cock than Brokeback Mountain and who is the receptacle and transmitter of crabs. Someone who can spread crabs to an entire bowling league, football team, bachelor party, high school, or Magic club. This person tends to be either the town whore or the quiet "girl next door" who has secretly fucked every Tom, Dick and Harry in a 50 mile radius. Synonyms: Cum Dumpster, Gutter Slut, Cock Queen, Cootie Catcher, Crotch Cracker
"Oh my god, you slept with her! She is such a Crab Net."

"The Crab Net just walked into the bar. What do you think she will snag tonight?"

"You don't want to sleep with him, he's gotten himself caught up in a Crab Net."
by Julie the Queen November 12, 2007
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