Johnny Eightball's definitions

Bush for President

A really bad mistake that's not worth repeating ever again. EVER. I mean, come on. What the fuck is wrong with this country anyway?

"I had the runs so bad today from that 2am Taco Bell trip."

"Well, don't pull a Bush for President and go back again."

by Johnny Eightball August 19, 2004

stfumilf

Shut The Fuck Up, Mother I'd Like to Fuck

"Hey! STFUMILF or I'll punch you right in the cocksucker!"
"Please don't use that language around my daughter."
"Oh. OK. Sorry. My apologies to the both of you. Let's go to the post office now."

by Johnny Eightball July 8, 2004

qilf

Quaker I'd Like to Fuck

Just seeing that knock-out qilf on the box of Quaker Oats sends me scrambling out to the garage where I furiously masturbate with hopes that my Mennonite neighbor's children might see me.

by Johnny Eightball July 8, 2004

Missouri compromise

A mullet

See also Kentucky Waterfall.

Having just had his Missouri compromise trimmed, Enos Truffler decided to eat some leftover honey-baked ham sandwiches that his XXX porn star wife Portia Mercedes made for him the previous Sunday. He put all the fixings on it and washed it all down with a Mountain Dew. Then Enos read some of the newspaper and washed his truck. We're gonna miss him when he dies.

by Johnny Eightball June 10, 2004

thresh the evil fetus

To harvest olives.

After threshing the fetus, it's common practice in Greece for men to fill the orifices of lamb and sheep with their penises.

by Johnny Eightball June 10, 2004

total eclipse of the heart

The act of smearing one's privates with peanut butter with hopes that a dog, cat or other domesticated pet will retrieve some jelly and bread to make a sandwich with it.

Once upon a time I was falling in love
But now I'm only falling apart
Nothing I can do
A total eclipse of the heart
Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart

by Johnny Eightball June 10, 2004

pee on the Olson twins

This is a term for a refreshing summer shower usually resulting in a brilliant rainbow.

I love it when the skies open up and pee on the Olson twins. It reminds me of childhood. And lasers for some reason.

by Johnny Eightball June 14, 2004