Definitions by John Wesley

crap herder 

Someone who can't resist a yard sale item no matter how fucking useless in either:
a) the attempt to resale said piece of shit for a quarter profit or...
b) thinks they will have a pretty good use for said item later

Patrick was such a crap herder, he picked up some broken tables from the trash collection pile and brought them to work.

crap herder by John Wesley February 9, 2008

Hot Tub Meerkat 

The guy in the hot tub that can't quite commit to sitting all the way down in the water so they just kind of wade in, and stand there resembling a meerkat.

I was on my way to the hot tub at the gym when I spotted the Hot Tub Meerkat and decided thats too fucking weird, i'll just hit the steam room.

Hot Tub Meerkat by John Wesley February 9, 2008

Hot Tub Snow Monkey 

The guy in the hot tub that, like the Hot Tub Meerkat, can't quite commit to sitting all the way down but, damnit, they are trying, resulting in an act that resembles the Japanese Snow Monkey.

I was heading to the hot tub when i spotted the Hot Tub Snow Monkey and decided it was too fucking weird, I think i'll hit the sauna.

Hot Tub Snow Monkey by John Wesley February 9, 2008

Yard Gnome 

A member of the Fire Department whose only apparent job is to stand in the front yard of the scene with arms crossed, otherwise not doing a damn thing.

I had to drag the hose around the Yard Gnome on my way into the house fire.

Yard Gnome by John Wesley February 9, 2008

Muppet

Someone who has had so much plastic surgery and/or botox, their lips no longer move and they must speak only using the motion provided by their lower jaw.

We saw this hot looking woman, but she had so much face surgery she looked like a muppet when she spoke.

Muppet by John Wesley February 9, 2008

Skeeter Leg 

The kind of joint somebody rolls when they are too cheap and stingy to roll a "fatty". So thin, the rolling paper makes up the bulk of said joint and resembles a mosquitos (skeeter) leg when finished.

Terry could roll twenty Skeeter Legs from the same bag of pot anybody else could get 5 from.

Skeeter Leg by John Wesley February 9, 2008

Adult Abortion 

Procedure to remove someone from the face of the earth that is over the age of 18 that you know is unwanted, unproductive, a drain to natural resources or otherwise known as someone that you are pretty sure should not have been here in the first place.

She's such a useless crack head, somebody should really do an Adult Abortion on her.

Adult Abortion by John Wesley February 9, 2008