Pucker Factor

When an EMT or Paramedic arrives on scene of a call and the first impression of the patient is called the Pucker Factor. The Pucker can be visual as well as nasal. A person who has taken a dump in their pants can lead to a pucker factor, not only of the butt hole but of the nasal passages as well, depending upon whether the EMT or Paramedic is a green rookie or a seasoned veteran. The higher the pucker factor of the EMS providers on scene, the more urgent the need for rapid and immediate transport to a hospital. A partial amputation would have a pucker factor of a 5 or 6 whereas a complete amputation would have a pucker factor of a 7 or an 8.
EMT1: What was that call last night, I heard it go out but I was out of town?
EMT2: It was a victim of pretty serious fall at the construction site over on Third Street.
EMT1: Damn, how bad was it?
EMT2: The way he landed, he was all twisted up like a pretzel. It gave me a pucker factor of six right away.
EMT1: No shit, so what did you guys do?
EMT2: I called dispatch to get fly the bird right away.
EMT1: Wow, no shit. I wish I had been there.
by Jay Dog February 02, 2010
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Whacker

EMT, Firefighter or EMT\Firefighter who has a lot of flashing blue or red halogen, strobe or L.E.D lights on their vehicle so that you can see them from a mile away, has at least 1 mobile\hand held scanner or two way radio, wears their squad jacket everywhere in the winter, wears squad\fire department t-shirt every day in the summer. Can be easily spotted by the presence of several pagers on their belt from several different fire departments and\or squads because they want to claim that they run more calls than anyone else. They don't just show up for the good calls, but they get especially excited upon hearing the words "structure fire" or "MVA with entrapment". Often the first person at the squad building or the firehouse when the call goes out because they were listening to their scanner or radio.
Firefighter 1: Hey, man, have you met the new guy yet?
Firefighter 2: Yeah, he's already a member at 2 other fire departments before he joined here.
Firefighter 1: What a whacker!
by Jay Dog January 29, 2010
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Ambulance Driver

1. An EMT that doesn't do patient care in the back of the rig. Often found at medical transport companies but sometimes find their way onto a squad, they will show up for their shift incredibly early so as to beat their partner to the dispatch office and be the first one to take the keys. Will proceed to hold a death grip on those keys until the end of the shift, not letting them out of their sight for a single second. Have selective hearing of such words as "it's my turn to drive now", "it's your turn to be in the back" or "How about we switch places on this run?". Will often use such phrases as "Dispatch told me not to let you drive", "I was in the back all day yesterday" or the ever popular "The senior man always drives the rig."

2. What stupid people call EMTs and Paramedics, especially those employed in medical transport.
1. EMT1: Hey, who's your partner today?
EMT2: (Looks at paper) Ummm, I've got Vicky today.
EMT1: (laughs) Have fun, I had her yesterday, she is such an ambulance driver.
EMT2: Awww, damn it!

2. Stupid Girl: So tell me about yourself, what do you do for a living?
EMT Guy: I work for ABC Medical Transport.
Stupid Girl: Oh, like one of those ambulance drivers I see at the hospital?
EMT Guy: No, genius, I'm an EMT, an Emergency Medical Technichan. Working at ABC is just a job until I finish paramedic school and get a real job.
Stupid Girl: Para what?
EMT Guy: Nevermind!
by Jay Dog January 29, 2010
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Four Legged Alarm System

A large breed dog such as a German Shepherd, Rottweiler, Doberman, Pit Bull, etc. that will foil an attempt to burglarize your house by making a chew toy out of said burglar. Ninety Nine times out of a hundred, the sight and sound of the four legged alarm system on the other side of the door would be more than enough to deter a potential burglar into looking elsewhere for an easy target. The four legged alarm system can also double as a car alarm as well personal protection against muggers and\or rapists while walking alone in the dark. Highly effective when the four legged alarm system is given a junkyard dog name such as "Scraps" or "Tiny".
I live in a crummy neighborhood but I've never been robbed since I've been here, because I have a four legged alarm system, a 130 pound German Shepherd that barks and growls fiercely at anyone with dark skin that walks by!
by Jay Dog February 02, 2010
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Manwhore

A man who is on an insatiable, unending quest for booty, basically the same as a player, but with a more laughable name. Is always well dressed, clean shaven and wearing cologne, even when just hanging out with the guys, just in case he happens to run into a pretty girl along the way to meet the guys or at the place he's meeting the guys. Would be the first guy in your group of friends to bail on you to go chase tail
Girlfriend: (giggle) So why do you call your best friend Manwhore?
Boyfriend: Because he is! He's got a different girl with him every week. He puts thirty thousand miles a year on his car and he only lives five miles from where he works. So twenty nine thousand of those miles are from driving around chasing after booty. He's always thinking with the little head instead of the big one.
Girlfriend: (laughs) So I shouldn't introduce him to any of my girlfriends?
Boyfriend: Not unless they want to get played by a master.
by Jay Dog June 05, 2010
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Wifey

1. A ghetto fabulous nickname that a man refers to for his wife, girlfriend or fiancee.

2. A ghetto fabulous and cheesy nickname that Facebook Whores in myyearbook groups together refer to each other in status or picture comments on Facebook.
1.

Homie1: Yo, man, is dat your girlfriend over der?
Homie2: Hells no, Nigga, dat's my wifey!
Homie1: Word is bomb, yo!

2.
Linda Romaine has posted 1 new photo in the album Mobile Uploads.
2 comments:
Janelle Busten: Girl, you're lookin' hot as hell!
Linda Romaine: Rawr, wifey!
by Jay Dog February 15, 2010
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Suburban

A full size SUV made by GM under the name plate of the Chevrolet Suburban and the GMC Yukon XL. Up until 2000, the GMC model was also a Suburban. The Cadillac Escalade ESV is also based on the Suburban platform.

The Suburban has a reputation as a soccer mom vehicle. This was not always the case, only recently has this become a common sighting. The Suburban has become the soccer Mom vehicle in the past decade or so because the Suburban has gone the way of most SUVs. These days they're full of luxury bits and electronic gizmos that make it easier for soccer moms to drive them. Leather, heated seats, rear camera, power lift gate, remote start and push button electronic four wheel drive. The Suburban used to be a large vehicle that the soccer Moms were intimidated by because of it's massive size, weight and fuel consumption. The Suburban is 18 ft. long and until such inventions as the rear camera and obstacle detection systems, was difficult to park.

The Suburban used to be a utilitarian vehicle with cloth bench seats that would allow you to haul 9 people with room for gear. The Suburban, the new ones, are a soccer Mom vehicle, used to shuttle little Billy to school and soccer practice. But a used Suburban, especially one more than 20 years old, can be had for as little as $1000. The pre-1992 models are inexpensive to lift as high as 12 inches. Parts are dirt cheap to buy in junk yards everywhere. The old Suburban is a real truck!
Guy1: So who's turn is it to drive for this weekend's fishing trip?
Guy2: I believe it's my turn, we'll take my truck.
Guy3: You have a truck? All I've ever seen you drive is your Cobalt.
Guy2: That's because I don't drive it every day, it's my spare vehicle.
Guy1: What kind of truck is it?
Guy2: It's a Chevy Suburban.
Guy3: (laughs) Do you have to ask permission from the wife to see if little Johnny has a soccer game before you can take it to go fishing?
Guy2: No. I don't have any kids and my wife hates the Suburban. She drove it once and she hates it.
Guy1: What year is it?
Guy2: It's a Ninety Four with a big block.
Guy3: Damn!
by Jay Dog February 19, 2010
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