JaneGordon.com's definitions

Purse Burger

A burger carried in purse or pocket so one doesn't have to be too hungry, or get blood sugar out of balance.

Working from home made it easy for Jane to stick with her super healthy eating habits, such as eating a small bit of very healthy food every three hours. The problem is when she goes out and doesn't have time or access to food. But she solves the problem by always having a turkey burger in a small plastic bag. People just think she's eating a muffin, because who would carry a purse burger?

by JaneGordon.com March 19, 2023

X-Sex

Having sex with your X after you broke up.

Eric and Jane were off-and-on for six years but finally broke up when Jane got engaged and moved to Rome, and Eric married his college girlfriend. They are still friends decades later, but when Eric wanted to get Jane back into bed, she just explained "Sorry, I don't do X-sex."

by JaneGordon.com March 19, 2023

Swear on Your Orgasm

To learn if someone is lying or telling the truth, lead them down a verbal path ending in asking them to swear on their future orgasms, because no one will risk that if they are lying!

It works like this... instruct the person saying "Repeat after me" then have them repeat phrase by phrase...you say:
"I Swear"
(They repeat)
"I am telling the truth that (fill in the blank)"
(They repeat)
"and if I did not (fill in the blank)"
(They repeat)
"I will never"
(They repeat)
"have another"
(They repeat)
"orgasm in my life"
First, they are going to laugh. If they are lying, they will never never never repeat that last phrase. If they are telling the truth they do!

When John finally told me he loved me, I walked him through the swear.... he said it!

I squealed "OMG John, if you're willing to swear on your orgasm, it must be really true! And I love love love you, too."

by JaneGordon.com March 10, 2023

Often-Wrong: Never-in-Doubt

When someone is sure of their opinion, but unopen to facts, truth, and light entering their mind, heart, and soul.

Patty complained that I like to check facts, but she prefers to trust her instincts. She is often-wrong: never-in-doubt.

by JaneGordon.com March 8, 2023

Smile-it-Forward

When you try to make random people laugh and smile because it will release endorphins, and you know they will be kinder to the next person, and they to the next, and they also, and so on and so forth. One silliness makes a better world.

Jane loves to be constantly silly and make people laugh, even if they are laughing at her, because she loves to smile-it-forward.

by JaneGordon.com March 5, 2023

Blame-Eater

Blame-Eater:

A person who happily accepts blame for things they didn't do, mostly to take the pressure off others and/or to assuage someone else's feelings, and also to avoid arguments and end the silliness of the blaming conversation. The blame-eater is comfortable enough in knowing themselves so as not to worry what others think, so the blame disappears in a puff of smiles.

John can be a bit blaming. Luckily, Jane adores him, doesn't want to fight, and doesn't mind being the blame-eater.
"So it's my fault now? Okay, I'll take the blame. Let's hug."

by JaneGordon.com February 2, 2023

Thinkless

Any task that requires no thought so you can talk on the phone at the same time while you’re doing it.

Not to be confused with 'thoughtless' which has negative connotations. Thinkless is extremely useful.

Jane's ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) is pretty bad, so it helps her listen on the phone when she occupies herself with thinkless tasks. It's multitasking with benefits. She's often cleaning, so the more she talks, the cleaner her apartment. And the rest of the time it's graphics, so she gets work done at the same time. Yeah- a double win!

by JaneGordon.com January 22, 2023