10 definitions by James Dracon
The Emperor of Canada is a misogynitic wife-killing, leader relatively unconcerned with the goings on inside of the violent riotous matriarchal lands of what is known of as "Canada".
It is said that he was the son of the last Emperor who built a castle in what is falsely known of as Ottawa or "Otterwa", this last Emperor being COMPLETELY oblivious and unknown to the rest of "Canada". It was said the previous Emperor was suffering from some form of schizophrenic disorder, and and may or may not have committed various violent crimes against women, starting with matricide. Noone has bothered to trace his lineage, and it is unknown who his father or grandparents were, or where he really came from.
The public finally became aware of their Emperor when he declared war on what is falsely known of as the Northwest Territories. At this time he called for all able bodied men to take up arms, to which the women of "Canada" picked up their own arms in outrage over the blatant disregard for their practice of prohibiting men from picking up weapons or moving independently.
The Emporer was, it is said intensly shocked at the ferocious matriarchal force, having had no idea of the nature of the society which he ruled. He had to retreat ironically into the very lands he had declared war on.
He was allowed a small house there and the women of the southerm area of "Canada" were content that he remain out of their lands if indeed they didn't forget about him all together for the next two months, life in "Canada" being a constant struggle to maintain wealth, status, and viability.
The people in what is known of as the Northwest Territories were largely still entirely unaware of the presence of the Emperor, except vague rumors that had it that it was merely a lame rabid dog that escaped from a medical testing facility, that probably was shot, or feeding off of people in the woods.
It was during the Emperors two month excile to what is known of as the Northwest Territories, that he began planning for a more involved government, he took, and murdered two wives during this period, and was chased out of five towns and near fatally wounded. Twice it was thought that the "defective man", as he was soon called, must have just been eaten by a rabid dog in the woods, as he would lie low for several days after being chased from a town.
It was at the end of the two months that he was approached by the Clown Death Squad who claimed to be his most loyal citizens, and promised to help him back into his castle, which was currently being used as a printing press, in between fires, and a medical testing facility trying to find a cure for rabies.
During the Emperor's excile, several rabies infected dogs escaped and disappeared, and it was discovered, and then forgotten, the evidence destroyed in a fire, that many people in "Canada" had an immunity to rabies due to frequent and long term exposure. Some were also symptomless carriers of the disease. To prevent symptoms, it was said you should drink whiskey constantly, then again it was always said to be wise to drink whiskey constantly. It was law to drink whiskey constantly.
The Emperor with the help of the Clown Death Squad took over his castle again, and an uneasy truce ensued between the emperor and the people.
It is said that he was the son of the last Emperor who built a castle in what is falsely known of as Ottawa or "Otterwa", this last Emperor being COMPLETELY oblivious and unknown to the rest of "Canada". It was said the previous Emperor was suffering from some form of schizophrenic disorder, and and may or may not have committed various violent crimes against women, starting with matricide. Noone has bothered to trace his lineage, and it is unknown who his father or grandparents were, or where he really came from.
The public finally became aware of their Emperor when he declared war on what is falsely known of as the Northwest Territories. At this time he called for all able bodied men to take up arms, to which the women of "Canada" picked up their own arms in outrage over the blatant disregard for their practice of prohibiting men from picking up weapons or moving independently.
The Emporer was, it is said intensly shocked at the ferocious matriarchal force, having had no idea of the nature of the society which he ruled. He had to retreat ironically into the very lands he had declared war on.
He was allowed a small house there and the women of the southerm area of "Canada" were content that he remain out of their lands if indeed they didn't forget about him all together for the next two months, life in "Canada" being a constant struggle to maintain wealth, status, and viability.
The people in what is known of as the Northwest Territories were largely still entirely unaware of the presence of the Emperor, except vague rumors that had it that it was merely a lame rabid dog that escaped from a medical testing facility, that probably was shot, or feeding off of people in the woods.
It was during the Emperors two month excile to what is known of as the Northwest Territories, that he began planning for a more involved government, he took, and murdered two wives during this period, and was chased out of five towns and near fatally wounded. Twice it was thought that the "defective man", as he was soon called, must have just been eaten by a rabid dog in the woods, as he would lie low for several days after being chased from a town.
It was at the end of the two months that he was approached by the Clown Death Squad who claimed to be his most loyal citizens, and promised to help him back into his castle, which was currently being used as a printing press, in between fires, and a medical testing facility trying to find a cure for rabies.
During the Emperor's excile, several rabies infected dogs escaped and disappeared, and it was discovered, and then forgotten, the evidence destroyed in a fire, that many people in "Canada" had an immunity to rabies due to frequent and long term exposure. Some were also symptomless carriers of the disease. To prevent symptoms, it was said you should drink whiskey constantly, then again it was always said to be wise to drink whiskey constantly. It was law to drink whiskey constantly.
The Emperor with the help of the Clown Death Squad took over his castle again, and an uneasy truce ensued between the emperor and the people.
by James Dracon February 27, 2008
The so called "fake" canadians, are the current inhabitants in what is known of to the rest of the world as "Canada". They are said to have arrived shortly before, or directly after, the imprisonment of the "real candadians" (see The RCP) who were said to origionally inhabit "Canada"
The "fake canadians" are a war like people, generally dominated by whiskey drinking women armmed with swords (they feel blades to be more intimate then guns, but those are used to), who rise in power through deadly duels, and strategic forced marriages (the men are unusually docile), through which if they are powerful enough, to defeat any challenging matriarchs, they will take over an entire family, and it's wealth. Families are considered property, and like most property the women will duel over it. Property can be taken away at anytime by anyone strong enough to do so, there is no judicial system and most "governing" forces are unconcerned with the general populace. Goverment excluding the Emporer, and clown death squad (talked about shortly) are there more for tourists and show purposes, so there is no legal recognition of ownership.
However, there are a group of people who call themselves police, having got the idea from televison, after obtaining approval by the emporer they commenced the supervison of duels where able, by way of ensuring that at least one combatant is killed, and to enforce drinking laws, requiring every person to consume at least five litres of alcohol per day.
Socially friendships are short lived often ending in the death of one person after some perceived disagreement. In "fake" canadian culture it is paramount to not be preceived as weak, and so crucial to defend with lethal violence when faced with anything that could be thought to be an insult and therefore a challenge. Marriages are more for property aquisition, and status (the marrying and dominating of a foreinger seen to be as especially status boosting), and women are allowed to aquire as many husbands as they please. However like all things if someone sees a woman too "soft" on her husbands, she is often open to attack and cristism, of course resulting in death duels.
The infrastructures, of cities are completely destroyed daily, and miraculously rebuilt, in mere minutes. The "fake" canadians being phoenominal architechts. There is not usually any use or appearence of traffic lights, as there are no traffic laws, these are however hastily put in upon the arrival of foreigners.
The cross is the national sign of whiskey, and is featured on many whiskey temples, whiskey flows from all taps instead of water (these can be rerouted to run water in the event of tourists), it should be noted "fake" canadians are immmune from any of the ill effects of alcohol.
Cars are manufactured without locks or ignition keys since there is no ownership except what you can defend, people will just take and abandon vehicles at will.
The parks are the only places where violence is not perpetrated by people, and an unwritten, and unspoken truce agreement exists, that noone has ever violated. However the unique risk of rabid lions is present. It has been rumoured that the clown death squad fed and continues to feed the once docile lions the bodies of the people they kill, effectivly training them to seek human flesh.
The clown Death Squad origionally said to be a group of rouge socio and psychopathic killers, who escaped prosecution in other countries, convinced the emporer he employed them and continues to do so. They visciously kill any who inadvertantly offends them. They have an unnerving propensity to jump out of cabinets, glove compartments, and other small places, the location of which not confined to "Canada". (see Clown Death Squad).
The "fake" canadians, imitate a reasonable democracy, when ever a tourist is near. Towns and cities are alerted to the presence of a foreinger by a complicated alert system, and then thanks to their phoenominal architechtual, and contruction skills, and where needed the quick erection of screens and sound cancellation technology, they create a "fake, fake Canada" to hide the truth about their society from the world, though the "fake" canadians are unsure of why they do this. Some say the idea to present a different image to the world is really an idea of the evil walrii.
The Mime Army, are the inept, forced military of the "Canada" the world knows. Actually members of a mime guild, they will not speak out about being forced to impersonate soldiers, because of their vow of silence, and the threat of murder at the hand of the Clown Death Squad. In cases where their voices must be heard the evil walrii use sound devices to speak for them, the emporer, and the rest of the "fake" canadaians do not know of the mime army's plight.
The whole of "Canada" is ruled by a self absorbed misogynistic wife-killing emporer, ruling by a weird truce agreement, he is allowed to murder his wives and have a castle, though he generally stays out of personal "fake" canadians' business, and they do not murder him, his duties are limited. Some say the Clown Death Squad came in just in time to prevent him from meeting his end, as most "fake" canadians are not looking to anger the Clown Death Squad.
The "fake canadians" are a war like people, generally dominated by whiskey drinking women armmed with swords (they feel blades to be more intimate then guns, but those are used to), who rise in power through deadly duels, and strategic forced marriages (the men are unusually docile), through which if they are powerful enough, to defeat any challenging matriarchs, they will take over an entire family, and it's wealth. Families are considered property, and like most property the women will duel over it. Property can be taken away at anytime by anyone strong enough to do so, there is no judicial system and most "governing" forces are unconcerned with the general populace. Goverment excluding the Emporer, and clown death squad (talked about shortly) are there more for tourists and show purposes, so there is no legal recognition of ownership.
However, there are a group of people who call themselves police, having got the idea from televison, after obtaining approval by the emporer they commenced the supervison of duels where able, by way of ensuring that at least one combatant is killed, and to enforce drinking laws, requiring every person to consume at least five litres of alcohol per day.
Socially friendships are short lived often ending in the death of one person after some perceived disagreement. In "fake" canadian culture it is paramount to not be preceived as weak, and so crucial to defend with lethal violence when faced with anything that could be thought to be an insult and therefore a challenge. Marriages are more for property aquisition, and status (the marrying and dominating of a foreinger seen to be as especially status boosting), and women are allowed to aquire as many husbands as they please. However like all things if someone sees a woman too "soft" on her husbands, she is often open to attack and cristism, of course resulting in death duels.
The infrastructures, of cities are completely destroyed daily, and miraculously rebuilt, in mere minutes. The "fake" canadians being phoenominal architechts. There is not usually any use or appearence of traffic lights, as there are no traffic laws, these are however hastily put in upon the arrival of foreigners.
The cross is the national sign of whiskey, and is featured on many whiskey temples, whiskey flows from all taps instead of water (these can be rerouted to run water in the event of tourists), it should be noted "fake" canadians are immmune from any of the ill effects of alcohol.
Cars are manufactured without locks or ignition keys since there is no ownership except what you can defend, people will just take and abandon vehicles at will.
The parks are the only places where violence is not perpetrated by people, and an unwritten, and unspoken truce agreement exists, that noone has ever violated. However the unique risk of rabid lions is present. It has been rumoured that the clown death squad fed and continues to feed the once docile lions the bodies of the people they kill, effectivly training them to seek human flesh.
The clown Death Squad origionally said to be a group of rouge socio and psychopathic killers, who escaped prosecution in other countries, convinced the emporer he employed them and continues to do so. They visciously kill any who inadvertantly offends them. They have an unnerving propensity to jump out of cabinets, glove compartments, and other small places, the location of which not confined to "Canada". (see Clown Death Squad).
The "fake" canadians, imitate a reasonable democracy, when ever a tourist is near. Towns and cities are alerted to the presence of a foreinger by a complicated alert system, and then thanks to their phoenominal architechtual, and contruction skills, and where needed the quick erection of screens and sound cancellation technology, they create a "fake, fake Canada" to hide the truth about their society from the world, though the "fake" canadians are unsure of why they do this. Some say the idea to present a different image to the world is really an idea of the evil walrii.
The Mime Army, are the inept, forced military of the "Canada" the world knows. Actually members of a mime guild, they will not speak out about being forced to impersonate soldiers, because of their vow of silence, and the threat of murder at the hand of the Clown Death Squad. In cases where their voices must be heard the evil walrii use sound devices to speak for them, the emporer, and the rest of the "fake" canadaians do not know of the mime army's plight.
The whole of "Canada" is ruled by a self absorbed misogynistic wife-killing emporer, ruling by a weird truce agreement, he is allowed to murder his wives and have a castle, though he generally stays out of personal "fake" canadians' business, and they do not murder him, his duties are limited. Some say the Clown Death Squad came in just in time to prevent him from meeting his end, as most "fake" canadians are not looking to anger the Clown Death Squad.
by James Dracon February 22, 2008
The defense of an action because it occurred in a cartoon.
Nothing is a serious issue if it previously was featured in a cartoon, in that case the action is clearly meant to be all fun and games, and if you disagree you suck.
Nothing is a serious issue if it previously was featured in a cartoon, in that case the action is clearly meant to be all fun and games, and if you disagree you suck.
I wasn't harassing and stalking that woman, Pepe le Pew does it all the time.
Classic use of the Cartoon Defense.
Classic use of the Cartoon Defense.
by James Dracon February 7, 2013
The Origional Toaster Lover's Of Guelph.
A group of women shunned, men, located in Guelph, that some say the former Sir James stole the name of his enemy revolutionaries from. This group who call them selves
Otlog for short have long been outraged at James' behaviour, claiming he shunned and disgraced his real father, whom they claim was Otlog's deceased founder, and the only member of Otlog to ever have had relations with a real woman.
James denies any knowleage of such a group, but says that if they love toasters they are of course his enemy. This further outraged the group who claim if they had the resources would indeed rise up to take James and his armies down. Some of their members try frequently and ineffectually to thwart and or capture James, and his comrades.
However on August 17th 2007, they almost suceeded by poisoning James' drink at a party, causing temporary amnesia and inability to articulate, spiralling into the events that led to his de-knighting.
After a brief retreat into terrified hiding the Otlog has been heard bragging, out of James' arms reach, anyway.
Also it is good to note, that unlike the possibly fictional Toaster Lovers of James' rantings in his war on the Toaster Revolution, these toaster lovers actually have relations with toasters.
A group of women shunned, men, located in Guelph, that some say the former Sir James stole the name of his enemy revolutionaries from. This group who call them selves
Otlog for short have long been outraged at James' behaviour, claiming he shunned and disgraced his real father, whom they claim was Otlog's deceased founder, and the only member of Otlog to ever have had relations with a real woman.
James denies any knowleage of such a group, but says that if they love toasters they are of course his enemy. This further outraged the group who claim if they had the resources would indeed rise up to take James and his armies down. Some of their members try frequently and ineffectually to thwart and or capture James, and his comrades.
However on August 17th 2007, they almost suceeded by poisoning James' drink at a party, causing temporary amnesia and inability to articulate, spiralling into the events that led to his de-knighting.
After a brief retreat into terrified hiding the Otlog has been heard bragging, out of James' arms reach, anyway.
Also it is good to note, that unlike the possibly fictional Toaster Lovers of James' rantings in his war on the Toaster Revolution, these toaster lovers actually have relations with toasters.
by James Dracon February 8, 2008
Just a tiny part of the awful truth about "Canada", the Mime Army is the forced military of the country that is known of as "Canada" that the world knows.
It is thought that the idea to create an army of unwilling mimes came about when the governing forces of "Canada" decided it would look weird if they didn't have soldiers that didn't look like the hideous hulking walruses they are, and that forcing mimes to be soldiers against their will was fun and hilarious.
Actually members of a mime guild, the inhabitants of "Canada" and the rest of the world do not know of the Mime Army's plight. The evil walrii, the real governing force of "Canada" and possibly the United States, with the use of sound devices, speak for the mime/soldier's when their voices need be heard.
The mime army unfortunately will not speak out about their plight due to the member's strict and heartfelt vow of silence, which all mimes adhere to, and the threat of murder by the Clown Death Squad (see Clown Death Squad).
New mimes are "recruited" frequently by the Clown Death Squad, forced or coerced using the mimes' financial situation (the demand for mimes has been dwindling with the growing, but superficial, social popularity of "freedom of speech" and the like), so training them is unnecessary as members are easily replaced if killed due to their ineptitude or lack of adequate equipment.
The Mime Army's plight continues to remain unnoticed and any who know of it refuse to speak or gesture of it.
It is thought that the idea to create an army of unwilling mimes came about when the governing forces of "Canada" decided it would look weird if they didn't have soldiers that didn't look like the hideous hulking walruses they are, and that forcing mimes to be soldiers against their will was fun and hilarious.
Actually members of a mime guild, the inhabitants of "Canada" and the rest of the world do not know of the Mime Army's plight. The evil walrii, the real governing force of "Canada" and possibly the United States, with the use of sound devices, speak for the mime/soldier's when their voices need be heard.
The mime army unfortunately will not speak out about their plight due to the member's strict and heartfelt vow of silence, which all mimes adhere to, and the threat of murder by the Clown Death Squad (see Clown Death Squad).
New mimes are "recruited" frequently by the Clown Death Squad, forced or coerced using the mimes' financial situation (the demand for mimes has been dwindling with the growing, but superficial, social popularity of "freedom of speech" and the like), so training them is unnecessary as members are easily replaced if killed due to their ineptitude or lack of adequate equipment.
The Mime Army's plight continues to remain unnoticed and any who know of it refuse to speak or gesture of it.
by James Dracon May 11, 2011
When the current "Canadians", the warrior matriach society and it's ruling misogynistic, wife-killing emperor took over what is widely known of as "Canada", the kind and gentle, oddly-accented "real" canadians were trapped in cages in what is falsely known of as NewFoundland,by the evil walrii (allegedly). The Current inhabitants who are reknowned as being with out judicial law, and live by a very direct and brutally literal interpretation of "surival of the fittest" as well as with the implementation of mandatory drinking laws, will imitate a relatively peaceful, reasonabley patriarchal (see equality of the sexes), democratic society, lead by their "prime minister" who is rumoured to really be a robot placed there by the evil walrii in order to distract the rest of the world from the "fake" canadians, and therefore essentially their own activities (which are largly unknown of by the "fake canadians", and the rest of the world). The imitation starts whenever a "foreigner" enters the country that is not otherwise garaunteed to keep utterly quite, and cannot be forced to be married to a female "fake" canadian, towns and cities are alerted to a foreingers nearness by a complicated alert system, even though the routine "tagging" of arriving foreingers at borders makes available many modes of tracking them that are easier, and more efficient. The governemnt is very deep and many layered, and many parts of it are actually entirely unaware of the other parts, government having little to do with, or awareness of the general populace, and vice versa(see fake canadian culture). The "fake" canadians are actually entirely unaware of the "real" canadians, or where the idea to imitate a democracy and install a fake prime minister came from, as they are more intent on battling to the death over property, aquiring wealth through the appropriating of entire families by a marriage and duel combination, and drinking levels of whiskey considered lethal for any human being (for more on "fake" canadian culture see fake canadian culture). The "Real" Canadians (RCP) have been in cages it is believed since some time in 1867, and the evil walrii have managed to keep them entirely hidden. Some disguised walrii soldiers having opened a zoo, and forced the "real" canadians to wear animal costumes, coupled with the vaporised hallucinogens they spray at people as the enter the zoo, this has been sucessful at passing the poor gentle "real" canadians off as zoo creatures, and making money.
There is some debate as to whether or not it is in fact the current "fake" canadian inhabitants who are technically the "real" canadians, due to the estimated time of their take over. As "Canada" only truly became it's own country in that same year and it is unknown exactly when in 1867 that the "fake canadians" arrived.
There is some debate as to whether or not it is in fact the current "fake" canadian inhabitants who are technically the "real" canadians, due to the estimated time of their take over. As "Canada" only truly became it's own country in that same year and it is unknown exactly when in 1867 that the "fake canadians" arrived.
Who are The lost Canadian people anyway?
by James Dracon February 22, 2008
The army made up of geese employed by the former Sir. James in his war on Toaster Lovers. There was and still is much debate as to whether or not they are usefull, or effective soldiers, and whether James' mind has just completely gone to the alcohol. Regardless some still blame the change in migratory patterns among geese in areas where James is active on the geese's obligations by their employment in The War on Toasters. Some even go so far as to claim the geese are forced to wear shock collars that restrict their movement within certain cities though this has never been confirmed.
by James Dracon February 6, 2008