Jakestar's definitions

gun

A tool that is only deadly if used for its intended purpose.

"A gun is a tool, no different from a baseball bat, or a meat cleaver, or ... an alligator!"

-Homer Simpson

by JakeStar May 14, 2005

halloween

A holiday, which if you have any exposure to any media whatsoever, you will know is deeply stepped in Pagan tradition in which the day before blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

During the month of October, everything I read from the back of cereal boxes to Arts/Living newspaper features to magazine articles, to urban dictionary definitions by know-it-all 15 year olds told the story of the origin of Halloween. Who cares? Just give me my candy, dammit!

by Jakestar December 30, 2005

heel-toe express

The least preferred, but most often utilized, mode of transportation for city dwellers, kids without their lisences, college freshmen, and other carless people.

"Shit, how we gonna get to the packie?"

"Looks like we gotta take the ol' Heel-Toe Express"

by JakeStar November 3, 2005

loosies

Loose cans or bottles of beer, as opposed to those in a package.

"I cant fit this 30 rack into my backpack!"

"No worries! Ditch the box and fill up your backpack with loosies!"

by JakeStar October 12, 2005

dormcest

Sex between two (or more) people living in the same dorm.

Common among freshman, who excited by their newfound freedom have sex with the nearest person they can get their booze-soaked hands on. Its all well and good until October rolls around and you hate each other but still see each other everyday.

"You fucked your neighbor? Bad idea, dormcest usually does not end well."

"But we were drunk! And my mom wasnt going to walk in on us!"

by JakeStar May 9, 2005

I love the 90's

Spinoff of VH1's hit series, I love the 80's, it consists of semi-celebraties reminissing about the not-so-distant past. Has a very misleading name. Should be called "I thought the 90's were kinda cool when they were happenening but now is the ideal time to make snide remarks about them"

Semi-celebraty: Braveheart is about Mel Gibson painting himself blue, and leading the Scots to victory. Isn't that wacky?

by JakeStar May 4, 2005

handle

1. A 1.75 liter (half-gallon) bottle of liquor or other alcohol. Often has a handle or grip on the side for easy access.

2. One's online alias or nickname.

Note that people who use definition 1 do not use definition 2, and vice versa.

"SnYpeR2233? What kind of handle is that? Some kind of new Polish vodka?"

"Bacardi O? These n00bs are getting more and more uncreative with their handles."

by JakeStar April 8, 2006