Jake's definitions

2 dozen

(def. noun) see two dozen. The minimum number of times that you should try sex with a new partner, it may take her that long to get comfortable and really catch on

Ruthie and I got it on a few times, a few different ways, a few different positions, but she just really never caught the knack.I'm sorry now that I stopped giving her the booty call, I should have hung in there, she would have got better (and she had so much PROMISE).

by Jake January 14, 2004

mons

The haired pubic rise directly above the female genitals. An apparently pleasure-less pad of fat that protects the pubic bone over the bladder. Region of the human body which is imbued with an aura of mystery because it is constantly covered up. On some, a densely-thicketed plateau, on others an oddly barren "woodland", still on others, a shaved hump.

My hand slipped down the front of her pants, inside her underwear, until it rested on her mons. My middle finger then sought her vulva...

by Jake January 14, 2004

booty call

(noun)a phonecall,page,or conversation aimed at getting into your pants.Not an invite to a movie or dinner, not just coffee, not a casual or formal get-together, just a plain old-fashioned "let's fuck"

I woke at 4 a.m. with a massive hard-on. I picked up the phone and gave Ruthie a booty call. I wanted to mount her so very, very much. I had it REAL bad !

by Jake January 14, 2004

puff

(verb) to fart

She was embarrassed, she puffed while we were making love.

by Jake January 14, 2004

belly bulge

(noun) the curve of a woman's belly from just below her navel to just above her pubic hair

Nancii has a very attractive belly bulge, I get a boner as soon as I see her pull her pants down 3"

by Jake January 13, 2004

x incher

penis of "x" inches in length

eg. German 5.3" (or other Central European)
Irish 6.3"
Newfoundland 8" (but those goofs measure on the bottom side)

by Jake January 13, 2004

blubberfuck

(noun) take a woman over, say, 275 pounds, 45-55 DDD or bigger chest, a roll under her bellybutton like a fullsize loaf of French or Italian bread, rolls in her crotch like a 3rd (and 4th) set of labia, a pad of fat on her mons, huge buttocks, and you can't really get half-way into her in ANY position because of fat keepin' you away from her vagina so's you can bearly get your "head" into it

Denise, you is one BIG woman ! You is a blubbderfuck to beat all blubberfucks. You' sure yo' ain't already 'bout to give birth ?

by Jake January 12, 2004