Jake's definitions

Wet Nap

what you wipe your asshole and your twat with, right before you allow the guy to go down on you (assuming that you did have a bath or shower before the date started)

It was obvious we were going to have sex, I used a fresh Wet Nap for my ass, then another to wipe my pussy, just in case he wanted to go down on me.....Sara

by Jake January 20, 2004

minger

Not simply someone who is just coyote ugly, the phrase usually implies she is ugly, unkempt, over-weight and has hygiene problems such as a fishy cunt or skid marks on her underwear and her arse really stinks if you go to mount her doggy-style. She is also sexually promiscuous - a person who spreads sexually transmitted diseases. Her victims are always extremely horrified when they wake up the next morning. A somewhat crude term, the phrase is only usually used by people who are common, of low intellect or mingers themselves.Word comes from northern England and from Scotland.

Dave woke up hungover.Two-thirds of the bed contained a sweaty mound of stinky minger with unshaven armpits and huge bush. His genitals itched terribly.

by Jake January 20, 2004

unit

male penis and scrotum, or female mound/vulva/labia/vagina

When she turned him down he pulled out his unit and began waving it around her face.

When I decided to surprise fuck him, I shaved my unit the night before. He said it was the best vaginal sex he'd ever had.

by Jake January 20, 2004

morning glory

(noun)early-morning hard-on (erection) brought on by a full bladder and awakening with sex-related thoughts or from a sexual dream.

I enjoyed my morning glory by fingering myself for a moment,lubricating my cockhead with some spittle,then gently rolling her over and mounting her while she was still asleep.

by Jake January 20, 2004

Jokers Card

the joker cards something you juggahos will never understand

after all 6 have risen the end of time will consume us all

by jake January 20, 2004

go bag

(noun) a carry-bag that you keep by the door in case you have to evacuate from home on very short notice, or accompany someone to the hospital on an emergency basis

I keep a go bag handy, its got underwear and sox for 72 hours, a change of clothes, a sweater, gloves, all my essential medications, cash and coin, a phonecard, a flashlight and spare batteries, alkaline pack for my cellphone, photocopies of all my essential documents, a list of family phone numbers and emergency contacts, as well as water and dogfood, biscuits, her comfort toys, a blanket for her, and her meds.

by Jake January 19, 2004

safe

(noun) a condom

I slipped on a safe before I entered her.Decided to keep my sperm to myself.

by Jake January 19, 2004