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Definitions by Jack Spank9049

Fucking gas man! 

The gas man gets blamed on everything (poor gas man!)

Die in Warzone? FUCKING GAS MAN!

internet goes down? FUCKING GAS MAN!

Manager leaves or some other bs happens at your workplace (such as the water heater breaking down) FUCKING GAS MAN!

Disposable vape runs out? FUCKING GAS MAN!

Southampton lose? FUCKING GAS MAN!

Electric for house goes out and the battery backup for the router runs out? (thankfully it hasn't yet) FUCKING GAS MAN!

Boiler doesn't work? FUCKING GAS MAN!

The enemy you kill on Warzone doesn't give you any deathchat? FUCKING GAS MAN!

You don't clip a warzone deathchat because of some shitty thing with your recording software? FUCKING GAS MAN!

Referee doesn't give the pen? FUCKING GAS MAN!

Hitler rants about something? FUCKING GAS MAN!

You miss the bus? Southampton lose? FUCKING GAS MAN!
Southampton lose? FUCKING GAS MAN!

Dingy Dingy 

1. To go clubbing with 1 or more person(s)

2. To have sexual intercourse
1. Do you want to go do sum dingy dingy tonight?

2. Do you want to do some dingy dingy tonight?
Dingy Dingy by Jack Spank9049 August 19, 2022

Spack No.6 

So how did Spack No.6 suddenly appear in the picture?
Well, Spack No.2 works at an undisclosed Papa John's store somewhere in the world and not long after he started, 2 people left at the same time and little did Spack No.2 know, one of these people would turn out to be a Spack!
So, it was a normal day at work and Spack No.6 asked Spack No.2 to open pierce a bottle lid film and she added that she was being a Spack because she couldn't open it.

Spack No.2 said that he was a Spack and Spack No.6 said "same!". This was even before Spack No.6 knew about the whole Spack thing.

A few weeks later, Spack No.6 would be officially announced a Spack!

Her hobbies include (I quote):
"Smoking lots of weed"
"Skating"
"Dyeing my hair"
"Working at Papa John's"
"Getting Piercings"
"Going to football w/ my dad (Eastleigh FC)"
"DRUGS"
So, Spack No.1 - the head of all Spacks - this is our latest addition to the Spack family, Spack No.6!
Spack No.6 by Jack Spank9049 August 14, 2022

I was about to say 

Said by one when someone else tells them something that sounds hard to believe but isn't true anyway or the other peson misunderstood
Spack No.5: I worked at a pizza place but I quit because of my manager

Spack No.2: I work at Papa John's, don't suppose you worked there?

Spack No.5: No it was Marco's pizza

Spack No.2: Oh shit, I was about to say!

Eastleigh 

A small town in the south of England, mostly populated with charity shops, vaping shops, a really small shopping centre, aload of places that are closed down and a couple of kebab shops.
Spack No.4: Shall we go to Eastleigh?

Spack No.2: I would rather get the bus to Southampton!
Eastleigh by Jack Spank9049 August 7, 2022

MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM! DANIEL'S (Spack No.3) VAPING AGAIN! 

Basically has the outcome if Jack (Spack No.1) were to be spanking again or if not worse

The BBC will send an emergency broadcast message, all motorways will be shut with the exception of emergency and military use, Bluestar Bus will no longer operate its £1 after 6PM fare, Alex Turner will no longer want to be part of The Strokes, all flights will be grounded worldwide, Souhtampton will be relegated to the EFL and Pompey will be promoted to the EFL and also win the FA Cup in a shock victory against Chelsea, Activision will remove death chat on Warzone, the death chat compilation containing Spack No.3's deathchat will be deleted, London Bridge will fall down, Asus will go out of business, the sale of Elf Bars will be banned in the UK, an asteroid will be on a crash-collison course with Earth, the sun will get hotter and hotter and bigger and bigger, climate change will become inevitable, USB-C will no longer be mandatory in the EU.
*Peers into room*

5 seconds later: MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM! DANIEL'S (Spack No.3) VAPING AGAIN!

MUUUUUUUUM! JACK'S SPANKING AGAIN!

The absolute most catastrophic event in the Earth's history, should it happen.

The BBC will send out an emergency broadcast alert, all motorways in the UK will be shut apart from emergency services and military personnel. Southampton will be relegated to the Championship, Pareth Pouthgate will sign a new contract with England, Tesco will stop its £3.50 meal deal, Alex Turner will no longer want to be part of The Strokes, an asteroid will be on a crash collision course with Earth and nothing can be done about it, Pisstiano Penaldo and Parry Pane will both score hattricks against Southampton, Portsmouth will win the Caribou cup again, Bluestar Bus will stop its £1 fares after 6PM, Domino's will no longer do Two for Tuesday, Pizza Hut will stop its £5 favourites, Papa Johns will stop its £8.99 large pizza collection deal, Virgin Media will go out of business, the sale of Elf Bar vapes will be banned in the UK, the servers for Call of Duty World at War will shut down, labour will lose the next general election. These aren't all the events that will happen and just the ones I have on the top of my head...
Spack No.2:MUUUUUUUUM! JACK'S SPANKING AGAIN!

Rishi Sunak or who ever the fuck is PM at the time: "You must ration all essential supplies now and limit outside contact"