JAKE's definitions

cock author

One who enjoys tatooing dirty homosexual phrases upon the genetalia of their fruity companions. Not be be confused with a mere toatooist tatooing a penis, the cock author does it solely for pleasure and not for profit.

Hans: Were you invited to Bjorn's tatoo party?

Wilhelm: I wouldn't go over there if I were you. He's not a tatooist. He's a freakin cock author.

Hans: Oh shit...

by JakE May 21, 2007

n00btacular

When a n00b has a lucky moment, normally followed by getting pwned.

Player A uses a 'nade on a room killing Players B, C, and D. Player E then proceeds to sneak up on him and brutally rape him with a melee weapon.

by Jake May 7, 2004

the ticket

the way, the means, the solution, the cure

Put the car up on a hoist and have a look yourself, that's the ticket.

Viagra is the ticket to better sex.

With condoms we found using a lubricant is the ticket.

by Jake March 25, 2004

blacktops

Sparks plus. 7.0% ALC/VOL instead of 6.0% or 6.6%. Obvious because of their black tops instead of the normal orange.

The greatest drink ever, crack in can.

Damn they only have that nasty Tilt crap here, let's drive down the road to 7-11 and see if they have any blacktops.

by Jake June 18, 2006

ass load

More than a shitload, but less then a butt load

I have an ass load of work to do.
At least it ain't a butt load!

by Jake October 27, 2003

nekromonger

an ugly ass gurl that thinx she loox good..

avril lavigne is a fukin nekromonger

by jake August 19, 2004

post

When added as a prefix to a genre of music, means "with the fun taken out"

I listen to "post-indiecore melodic screamo," nothing else

by Jake February 26, 2005