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JAKE's definitions

sex/baseball analog

the everlasting sexual bases metaphor. The best way to remember them is the four "F"s: French, Feel, Finger, Fuck.

first: the first step in a sexual relationship kissing with an open mouth or using tongue (french kissing)

first and a half base: under the shirt, bra still on

second: one step up from first base, heavy petting and feeling up while making out,direct oral or manual stimulation of a partner's breast/nipple, up the shirt or shirtless for both partners.

shortstop: in baseball, the shortstop is the field position between second and third base. So, in fooling around, shortstop is being masturbated by or masturbating your partner, as that's between feeling up and oral sex.

third base: the last base before penetration sex, entailing contact with the main sexual regions, a handjob or a blowjob (fellatio) for guys and fingering or giving head (cunnilingus) to the girl

home base: reaching home base or fourth base is consumating the relationship by having vaginal sex, making love or fucking

NOTE:first or second base can be achieved concurrently with dry humping, considered third base when oral or manual stimulation occurs to genitals.
"Margo finally let her boyfriend get to shortstop, but she used way too much lotion and he came on her shirt."

"We finally reached home base last night! Thankfully he had a condom on him because we were so horny we couldn't wait any longer"
by Jake March 5, 2004
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gasoholic

one who enjoys the smell of other people's farts.
by Jake November 8, 2003
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alcowall

A collection of empty beer and liquer bottles arranged on a wall or shelf, a testement as to how much was drank.

A common sight in college dorm rooms and apartments.
"Those two fifth of Smirnoff, one handle of Rubinoff, and sixty beer bottles make for quite the alcowall"
by Jake February 26, 2005
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Escargot

the snail body that comes out of a snail shell. Looks like snot (a nose booger)
"Anyone care for escargot?"

"er, no thanks. I'll just pick my own..."
by Jake April 14, 2004
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bumfuck

a town in any low-density population state. Saves you having to remember special spellings or pronunciations of places that people have never heard of anyway.
She's from Bumfuck, Arkansas.

He was born in Bumfuck, Idaho.

She's from Bumfuck.

When I graduate I'll probably end up working in the Walmart in Bumfuck and marrying some cheerleader that I got pregnant under the bleachers.
by Jake February 26, 2004
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donk

"That fuckin' bitch is donk!"
by Jake January 6, 2005
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Homer Simpson

none needed
by jake November 13, 2003
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