Something that seems to keep being stolen, but the guards won't put up with it over an arrow to the knee.
by Intelligence001 July 17, 2016
Get the Sweet Roll mug.by Intelligence001 June 14, 2016
Get the Epic Face Palm mug.A vicious creature that lives in the ocean and attacks campers. Here are some rules to follow to prevent attracting these beasts:
1. Don't play the clarinet poorly.
2. Don't wave an active flashlight back and forth. (Flashlights are considered natural prey.)
3. Don't stomp around; they take it as a challenge.
4. Don't eat cheese. (Cubed. Sliced is just fine.)
5. Never wear a sombrero in a goofy fashion.
6. Or clown shoes.
7. Or a hoop skirt.
8. NEVER, EVER, EVER, SCREECH LIKE A CHIMPANZEE.
9. In the event of an attack, do not run. They are agitated by it and will seize the opportunity to attack again.
10. Do not limp, either. They hate that even more than running.
In the event you detect a nearby sea bear, or otherwise feel unsure you are located in sea bear territory, draw a perfect circle in the sand, sit in the middle, and wait for the danger to pass. An oval is not sufficient.
1. Don't play the clarinet poorly.
2. Don't wave an active flashlight back and forth. (Flashlights are considered natural prey.)
3. Don't stomp around; they take it as a challenge.
4. Don't eat cheese. (Cubed. Sliced is just fine.)
5. Never wear a sombrero in a goofy fashion.
6. Or clown shoes.
7. Or a hoop skirt.
8. NEVER, EVER, EVER, SCREECH LIKE A CHIMPANZEE.
9. In the event of an attack, do not run. They are agitated by it and will seize the opportunity to attack again.
10. Do not limp, either. They hate that even more than running.
In the event you detect a nearby sea bear, or otherwise feel unsure you are located in sea bear territory, draw a perfect circle in the sand, sit in the middle, and wait for the danger to pass. An oval is not sufficient.
Whether or not the sea bear exists is up for debate, as only one person is known to have survived a sea bear attack. (Witnesses claim he was incompetent enough to try all known ways to attract a sea bear.)
by Intelligence001 February 06, 2017
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Corporal Dodson: Colonel, the phone died.
Colonel Watts: Go down to the Supply deck to see if there are any sound-powered phone batteries.
Corporal: Sir, yes sir!
Watts: *chuckles*
Colonel Watts: Go down to the Supply deck to see if there are any sound-powered phone batteries.
Corporal: Sir, yes sir!
Watts: *chuckles*
by Intelligence001 June 24, 2016
Get the Sound-powered phone batteries mug.A gigantic squid-like creature that attacks the ships of any mortal foolish enough to wander into its domain. It originated in Norse mythology, but has become sailing lore and a unique aspect of popular culture regarding sailing ships.
Below the thunders of the upper deep,
Far, far beneath in the abysmal sea,
His ancient, dreamless, uninvaded sleep
The Kraken sleepeth: faintest sunlights flee
About his shadowy sides; above him swell
Huge sponges of millennial growth and height;
And far away into the sickly light,
From many a wondrous grot and secret cell
Unnumbered and enormous polypi
Winnow with giant arms the slumbering green.
There hath he lain for ages, and will lie
Battening upon huge sea worms in his sleep,
Until the latter fire shall heat the deep;
Then once by man and angels to be seen,
In roaring he shall rise and on the surface die.
Far, far beneath in the abysmal sea,
His ancient, dreamless, uninvaded sleep
The Kraken sleepeth: faintest sunlights flee
About his shadowy sides; above him swell
Huge sponges of millennial growth and height;
And far away into the sickly light,
From many a wondrous grot and secret cell
Unnumbered and enormous polypi
Winnow with giant arms the slumbering green.
There hath he lain for ages, and will lie
Battening upon huge sea worms in his sleep,
Until the latter fire shall heat the deep;
Then once by man and angels to be seen,
In roaring he shall rise and on the surface die.
by Intelligence001 March 22, 2017
Get the Kraken mug.Supposedly, the "friend zone" is a phenomenon that occurs when a girl you like is friends with you, but will blatantly not date you, resulting in depression/irritation, as the "friend zoned" person feels obligated to date(or have sex with) the other person. Of course, to put simply, this is total bullshit. Women are not vending machines that you can put kindness coins into until dates/sex pops out. THEY DON'T OWE YOU ANYTHING.
Jack: Hey, you alright, Kendall?
Kendall: No.
Jack: Why? What's wrong?
Kendall: Hannah put me in the friend zone. I know she's obligated to have it with me.
Jack: Dude, get over it. It's total bullshit. Women don't owe you shit.
Kendall: No.
Jack: Why? What's wrong?
Kendall: Hannah put me in the friend zone. I know she's obligated to have it with me.
Jack: Dude, get over it. It's total bullshit. Women don't owe you shit.
by Intelligence001 October 09, 2016
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