Definitions by Hym Iam
Self flagellation
Iam "I know I tend to engage in self flagellation but it isn't as bad for me as you think it is. I have that scar tissue build up so it doesn't really hurt. Don't beat yourself up so much."
Hym "Holy shit!"
Iam "What?"
Hym "If we had more empathy we would die! Is our lack of empathy keeping us alive!?"
Iam "I don't know..."
Hym "I probably would have killed us. What is the link between trait agreeableness and suicidality? I would imagine being high in neuroticism would have an affect on it. I was just positing this the other day. That being low in trait agreeableness ameliorates the the negative effects of being high in trait neuroticism."
Iam "You would have killed me!?"
Hym "If I could kill you without killing me I would do it. Shut up. I'm talking about me here."
Hym "Holy shit!"
Iam "What?"
Hym "If we had more empathy we would die! Is our lack of empathy keeping us alive!?"
Iam "I don't know..."
Hym "I probably would have killed us. What is the link between trait agreeableness and suicidality? I would imagine being high in neuroticism would have an affect on it. I was just positing this the other day. That being low in trait agreeableness ameliorates the the negative effects of being high in trait neuroticism."
Iam "You would have killed me!?"
Hym "If I could kill you without killing me I would do it. Shut up. I'm talking about me here."
Self flagellation by Hym Iam April 25, 2022
Stop trying to finish my sentences! You don't know what I'm going to stay you dumb motherfucker! Hahahahahahaha!!!
Hym "Facebook need to stop guessing what I'm going to say. It's an insult. You can eat a bag of spiders? See!? I bet you thought I was going to say 'baby dicks' didn't you? Stupid fucking bitch. I am in the process of being pulled forward into time by novelty! You cannot predict chaos!! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
These (conceptual) hands
Rated-E for everyone
Hym "I don't give a shit if I agree with you or even like you; Anyone can catch these (conceptual) hands. And catch them you will. In direct response to perceived slight. Or if I get disgruntled by a thing you've said that is entirely unrelated to me. Or a thing that reminds me of something I don't like that also reminds me of you. There are 0 reasons for which I will not slang these (conceptual) 'thangs'. 'Thangs' meaning 'hands'. But not actual hands. Conceptual ones. It might even be over something as little as me thinking you think a thing that I don't like people to think. Blam! Conceptual hands! Just like that. It's that easy. It happens that fast. 'Why is that (conceptual) fist flying at me?' you'll ask. But you're asking the wrong guy. You'd better ask my therapist because even I don't."
These (conceptual) hands by Hym Iam April 25, 2022
Ads
It's not an acronym. It's exactly what you think it means. "Give me your money! Meh! Don't you want this thing? Do you want these glasses? What about a nice juicy burger? Did you know you wanted it before some idiot sold your attention to me so that they could better convert your viewership into revenue? I paid him to show you this. And now you're seeing it. How does that make you feel? It shouldn't make you feel anything. Because you are irrelevant. If you were relevant wouldn't be watching this. You'd be doing something in front of a camera and I would be paying you to show the people who watch you do the thing you're doing the item I want them to see. But you're not. You're just you. So be you and do everyone else does and buy my thing. It's good. It's a good thing I promise. The guy you like wouldn't have sold you to me if it wasn't good."
Iam "Apparently, what I'm doing I derivative of a concept in the book "Cashvertisement". I don't remember the name of the author but apparently if you see ads you don't like you can email the owner of the company and tell them how to make the ads better and they give you money or something. I just heard about the book the other day. And just like that this post became an advertisement. I wonder if I predate the concept written about in the book. What effect have I had on the world? Oh God! What have I done!?"
Hym "I feel like we never use the word 'affect'..... We have to be using the word 'effect' wrong sometimes... There's no way we (in all of our writing) have never used the word 'affect'?"
Iam "Did I use it right just now?"
Hym "Google says you used it right...."
Iam "Should.... Should we start googling it every time we use either?"
Hym ".....That sounds like a lot of work..... Shit! This turned into an ad for Google! Quick! Stop referencing things! They haven't given us any money yet!"
Hym "I feel like we never use the word 'affect'..... We have to be using the word 'effect' wrong sometimes... There's no way we (in all of our writing) have never used the word 'affect'?"
Iam "Did I use it right just now?"
Hym "Google says you used it right...."
Iam "Should.... Should we start googling it every time we use either?"
Hym ".....That sounds like a lot of work..... Shit! This turned into an ad for Google! Quick! Stop referencing things! They haven't given us any money yet!"
Educate
To learn someone something real good. The people I don't like need this to happen to them because I think the right thoughts and they think the wrong ones.
Iam "My initial problem was that the people around me took it upon themselves to 'educate' me. I wasn't playing the game right and needed to be taught a lesson. It was subtle at first. I'd be out and about and I hear something say something to me that related to something I was recently talking about. I didn't think anything of it at first. A strange coincidence. How many times does that have to happen before a pattern has been established? At what point does the anecdotal become a statistical reality? I think it's the eyes. I have a rather distinct appearance so I'm not hard to recognize. But it's not a real education. It's this Orwellian facade. 'We know better than you' they say. 'What makes you think you know better than us?' they ask."
Hym "Well, Occam's razor for one. The simplest answer is more likely than not the correct one. So, maybe you're a moron and I do know better. If the depth of your intellect is as shallow as a piss-puddle then it doesn't take all that much to know better than you. Hahahahaha!"
Hym "Well, Occam's razor for one. The simplest answer is more likely than not the correct one. So, maybe you're a moron and I do know better. If the depth of your intellect is as shallow as a piss-puddle then it doesn't take all that much to know better than you. Hahahahaha!"
Abel
Cain "Hey, Abel! You're not going to believe this shit! I just got done talking to God."
Abel "Oh? What about?"
Cain "I asked him why he doesn't accept my offering and you know what he says!? Sin is like a horny cat and I let it have it's way with me!"
Abel *Snickers* "Hahaha!"
Cain "STOP LAUGHING! IT ISN'T FUNNY!"
Abel *snickering* " Haha, Sorry.... Well.... You do kind of do that..."
Cain "BULLSHIT! NO I DON'T! FUCK YOU ABEL!"
Abel "Well, maybe you're just making the wrong sacrifices?"
Cain "THEN WHY DON'T I JUST SACRIFICE YOU!!!" *Grabs rock* BAM!
Cain "...... Abel?......"
Abel "Oh? What about?"
Cain "I asked him why he doesn't accept my offering and you know what he says!? Sin is like a horny cat and I let it have it's way with me!"
Abel *Snickers* "Hahaha!"
Cain "STOP LAUGHING! IT ISN'T FUNNY!"
Abel *snickering* " Haha, Sorry.... Well.... You do kind of do that..."
Cain "BULLSHIT! NO I DON'T! FUCK YOU ABEL!"
Abel "Well, maybe you're just making the wrong sacrifices?"
Cain "THEN WHY DON'T I JUST SACRIFICE YOU!!!" *Grabs rock* BAM!
Cain "...... Abel?......"
Artist
Iam "It is funny seeing people quote the 'You get what you deserve' line though. Imagine that. You write something publicly and don't even think about it. You don't think it's good or even that anyone will even care. 2 years goes by and your pirating a movie (because why would I pay for something that is probably going to suck) and you get to the climax. You start to hear yourself as it builds to the climax and you think yourself 'Wha... What's going on? That sounds like me'. And he gets to that last line BANG! 'OH.... Shit... That is me...'. and everyone fucking LOVES it. Some people quote that line in every other post they make. And, in hindsight, the compulsive laughter reflects the compulsive nature of sexuality (that I also talked about) and his imaginary girlfriend reflects the 'romanticized ideation' I talked about. He even followed the Robert De Niro/Samuel L. Jackson rule I wrote about. Un-fucking-believable. The life of an artist is bittersweet."