Definitions by Hym Iam
Small Dick
Umm... Hello? Are we forgetting something? If we recorded everyone who knows me (in secret) how many times would this get brought up? You think a lot or no? It would be perfectly acceptable to you. You wouldn't bat an eye. You'd probably laugh.
Hym "It's always funny to me how one sided the conversation is around this. I (in the last two weeks) have watched it go from 'Having a small dick is not good' to 'having a small dick is not good but it's ok' to 'having a small dick is good but could be better' replace that with anything else and it's unacceptable. But I'm repeating myself. You are all completely incapable of adhering to your own ethical standards. It's absurd. You just tweak your little ideals every time you get caught being piece of shit until you don't have to be a piece of shit anymore. 'See? I'm not the bad one!' because that's all it ever is! Not being the 'bad one' or 'see how I'm the good one?'. Say what you want about me, I'm (at the very least) consistent. And it's worse than being called a racist because you can always say 'I'm clearly not a racist!' but that doesn't work for 'small dick' does it? If you don't have one everyone is too busy riding you to insult your biology... HA! She used 'DREGS'! That's my thing! Hilarious! But I digress... I want to see you keep that same energy the next time you here someone use small dick as an insult."
Small Dick by Hym Iam May 18, 2022
Profound
If he's so profound then why doesn't he have a girlfriend?
Hym *Groans* "Sound like somebody has been talking to our mother..."
Iam "Yeah... That sounds familiar..."
Hym "Bastards... Bloody bastards. Each and every one of them... God I hate this reality..."
Iam *Sigh* "This... Uh... This is a little unsettling..."
Hym "Hmm...She wouldn't know 'Profound' if it clawed it's way out of her vag... Oh wait! It already happened!"
Iam "Yeah... That sounds familiar..."
Hym "Bastards... Bloody bastards. Each and every one of them... God I hate this reality..."
Iam *Sigh* "This... Uh... This is a little unsettling..."
Hym "Hmm...She wouldn't know 'Profound' if it clawed it's way out of her vag... Oh wait! It already happened!"
OLO
Code word for a straight married music teacher having a sexual with FEMALE student in her class! The fuck? Now I understand even less about what going on in the world (and I'm part of a nation wide gangstalking operation in which my favorite YouTubers are active participants)
Hym "Do you see this OLO shit!?"
Iam "See what I'm saying about teachers though?
Hym "That's why I prefer professors. They write the material they teach. They aren't molesters."
Iam "Hey, OLO looks like a person. Check it. OLO
👄
See?"
Hym "Ha! You're a fucking idiot. But seriously. That Monk shit is really pissing me off. How the fuck is Doug quoting something I said, verbatim, when I said it in a room with only one person? I get the UD posts. That's fine. But that shit isn't ME, Jordan. I'm not doing that shit to myself, am I? That's the fucking problem here. Not my unwillingness wipe the fucking beard hairs off my sink. Ok? See my problem?"
Iam "I thought it was kind of funny... I mean look ________________
OLO / FEED ME BRAINS! /
👄 <________________/
See? It's funny right?"
Hym "Bwahahahaha! Stop it! This isn't funny! You're annoying! We have a serious problem here!"
Iam "I know..."
Hym "Our life is falling apart and we're a part of an MK ultra-esque conspiracy! This isn't the time for jokes. How do you not see how this could be misused? 'If I wAs ThE oNe In ChArGe It WoUlD bE fInE!' Sounds a lot like communism to me! How about you? No? I was quoting a doctor. Sound familiar!?"
Iam "See what I'm saying about teachers though?
Hym "That's why I prefer professors. They write the material they teach. They aren't molesters."
Iam "Hey, OLO looks like a person. Check it. OLO
👄
See?"
Hym "Ha! You're a fucking idiot. But seriously. That Monk shit is really pissing me off. How the fuck is Doug quoting something I said, verbatim, when I said it in a room with only one person? I get the UD posts. That's fine. But that shit isn't ME, Jordan. I'm not doing that shit to myself, am I? That's the fucking problem here. Not my unwillingness wipe the fucking beard hairs off my sink. Ok? See my problem?"
Iam "I thought it was kind of funny... I mean look ________________
OLO / FEED ME BRAINS! /
👄 <________________/
See? It's funny right?"
Hym "Bwahahahaha! Stop it! This isn't funny! You're annoying! We have a serious problem here!"
Iam "I know..."
Hym "Our life is falling apart and we're a part of an MK ultra-esque conspiracy! This isn't the time for jokes. How do you not see how this could be misused? 'If I wAs ThE oNe In ChArGe It WoUlD bE fInE!' Sounds a lot like communism to me! How about you? No? I was quoting a doctor. Sound familiar!?"
Irritating
Hym "You really have know idea how irritating that is. Maddening really. Seriously."
Iam "That's just how people are."
Hym "I know but still. It isn't a point that should even have to be made. But clearly it does. How about this for an answer: until I have the medium through which the information about me is being exchanged, the ever deteriorating quality of my life is tied (directly) to the outcome of this story. Happy ending or sad ending. You pick. I'm the star of the show here. I just go where the narrative drives me. Getting real sick if this shit."
Iam "That's just how people are."
Hym "I know but still. It isn't a point that should even have to be made. But clearly it does. How about this for an answer: until I have the medium through which the information about me is being exchanged, the ever deteriorating quality of my life is tied (directly) to the outcome of this story. Happy ending or sad ending. You pick. I'm the star of the show here. I just go where the narrative drives me. Getting real sick if this shit."
Irritating by Hym Iam May 18, 2022
French Guy
Hym "I think he's mad we called his wife a whore by way of extension..."
Iam "Hey, you hear about that french guy who wanted to wait to have sex until marriage and after the two of them got married she divorced him immediately for not having a big enough weiner?"
Hym "Yeah, I did! That was crazy! I guess that why waiting until marriage is a stupid idea. Have half of your shit taken away from you for not having a big enough dick? That is wild."
Iam "Yeah. Tell me about it. You hear that they had to ban home paternity test because they found that 33% of men taking them were raising kids that were not their own?"
Hym "Really? Well, aren't you just a wealth of knowledge today"
Iam ☺️
Hym "Now get back to work!"
Iam 😑
Iam "Hey, you hear about that french guy who wanted to wait to have sex until marriage and after the two of them got married she divorced him immediately for not having a big enough weiner?"
Hym "Yeah, I did! That was crazy! I guess that why waiting until marriage is a stupid idea. Have half of your shit taken away from you for not having a big enough dick? That is wild."
Iam "Yeah. Tell me about it. You hear that they had to ban home paternity test because they found that 33% of men taking them were raising kids that were not their own?"
Hym "Really? Well, aren't you just a wealth of knowledge today"
Iam ☺️
Hym "Now get back to work!"
Iam 😑
French Guy by Hym Iam May 18, 2022
Hungry
Hym "I'm hungry"
Iam "What do you want?"
Hym "Steak."
Iam "We don't have time for that..."
Hym "That's what we could do! We could be a mukbang streamer and just film ourselves just-a going to town on food."
Iam "Ugh that stuff is gross! And I don't think we're hot enough for that..."
Hym "Hmm... You're probably right.... I don't think we could compete with all those hot Asian women...."
Iam "Hey! I'm not THAT bad!"
Hym "What!? Hahahahaha!!"
Iam "Er... Shut up! You know what I meant!."
Hym "Hahaha! On second thought, we get you in a wig and you might be able to cut it 😂 I didn't know I was dashing your dreams."
Iam "Shut up!"
Hym "Oh I'm sorry Iam. You're just as pretty as those other girls Hahaha!"
Iam "Let's just go..."
Hym "Mukbang..."
Iam "What do you want?"
Hym "Steak."
Iam "We don't have time for that..."
Hym "That's what we could do! We could be a mukbang streamer and just film ourselves just-a going to town on food."
Iam "Ugh that stuff is gross! And I don't think we're hot enough for that..."
Hym "Hmm... You're probably right.... I don't think we could compete with all those hot Asian women...."
Iam "Hey! I'm not THAT bad!"
Hym "What!? Hahahahaha!!"
Iam "Er... Shut up! You know what I meant!."
Hym "Hahaha! On second thought, we get you in a wig and you might be able to cut it 😂 I didn't know I was dashing your dreams."
Iam "Shut up!"
Hym "Oh I'm sorry Iam. You're just as pretty as those other girls Hahaha!"
Iam "Let's just go..."
Hym "Mukbang..."
Unleash your inner Psychopath
Hym "Go Iam! Unleash your inner Psychopath!"
Iam "Unleash you? How? Why? Aren't you already unleashed?"
Hym "Yes."
Iam "I don't think people would like that very much."
Hym "I don't think they care either way."
Iam "Well, they don't but that isn't the point."
Hym "What's the point then?"
Iam "Well, they clearly think they are accomplishing something by doing this (because why else would they waste their breath). You antagonizing them isn't making it any better."
Hym "I like to stir the pot. 🤷 I don't really have any stakes in the game because I've been excommunicated. Might as well inspire the masses."
Iam "Well, I'm the one who's paying the price."
Hym "For now. Who knows. The future could be bright. And by bright I mean the world burns down."
Iam "Unleash you? How? Why? Aren't you already unleashed?"
Hym "Yes."
Iam "I don't think people would like that very much."
Hym "I don't think they care either way."
Iam "Well, they don't but that isn't the point."
Hym "What's the point then?"
Iam "Well, they clearly think they are accomplishing something by doing this (because why else would they waste their breath). You antagonizing them isn't making it any better."
Hym "I like to stir the pot. 🤷 I don't really have any stakes in the game because I've been excommunicated. Might as well inspire the masses."
Iam "Well, I'm the one who's paying the price."
Hym "For now. Who knows. The future could be bright. And by bright I mean the world burns down."
Unleash your inner Psychopath by Hym Iam May 18, 2022