Definitions by Hym Iam
3rd shifter
Nope I'm arbitrarily woken up all the time. All the unwanted phone calls people generally get are during the day. Or parents! You know how many times my parents have woken me up 2 hours after falling alseep to perform some trivial task and/or go out into the freezing cold? And my parents are childish as fuck.
Hym "Nope. As a 3rd shifter I can tell you that none of that is true. So, no. Your children don't make you better than anyone. Your children are shit. Hey, does the bullying make you want to 'stab me in the neck?' Does it make you want to punish me in the most sadistic way possible? Would I deserve whatever you did to me? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"
3rd shifter by Hym Iam February 15, 2023
Self-aggrandizing 5-headed dawrf promotes sect of church that is explicitly known for fucking little boys in the butt and disparages men who dress like clown women and NOT fucking boys in the butt
Hym "Breaking! Self-aggrandizing 5-headed dawrf promotes sect of church that is explicitly known for fucking little boys in the butt but disparages men who dress like clown women and DON'T fuck little boys in the butt. He has to pretend I don't exist because if we both have cameras pointed at us at the same time, I'm going to bet him that I can fuck his wife better than him, and then he immediately loses the interaction because he knows that I'm right and framing reality in the way that you want it to be perceived for your viewers IS BETTER truth. It's more true than truth. It's YOUR truth. And people like it because it's a VERSION of truth that affirms his narcissistic delusions of superiority. Now, I know what you're thinking 'But Hym! I thought there was no such thing as "versions" of truth! You said there is only THE truth' and you're right! But I just say shit that I don't believe sometimes and have no responsibility to maintain any kind of continuity of thought or belief."
Iam "Ope... It says it's loading but I highly doubt they have a gif for 'Self-aggrandizing 5-headed dawrf promotes sect of church that is explicitly known for fucking little boys in the butt and disparages men who dress like clown women and NOT fucking boys in the butt'... Instead I'll just do a cat. Meow. That'll lighten the mood... There. "
Iam "Ope... It says it's loading but I highly doubt they have a gif for 'Self-aggrandizing 5-headed dawrf promotes sect of church that is explicitly known for fucking little boys in the butt and disparages men who dress like clown women and NOT fucking boys in the butt'... Instead I'll just do a cat. Meow. That'll lighten the mood... There. "
Your cage
Yup, this is the part 4 I was alluding to earlier... IS it alluding? Is that the right word? I know I'm not like an award winning screenwriter or anythung but I just can't think of a better word to use..."
God "Oh your me? Oh my me. That sounds funny... But, no, yeah... The hot ones are hot and then the other ones are, like, less hot based on how close they are to the hot ones. It's like a relativity thing I'm trying... It's good."
Lucifer "Mm... Fantastic. So your orbs just sit there?"
God "Nah I'm just tossing these motherfuckers all over the place... Just slanging em..."
Lucifer "What's a moth- You know what? I don't even care. Ok. They spin, you throw them... The hot ones are hot. Got it."
God "They're not JUST hot. They shoot out little mini-orbs that bounce offa everything. That's how they get the other orbs hot."
Lucifer "Great."
God "Yup... And the big hot ones turn into tiny suction ones."
Lucifer "And the big hot ones turn into tiny suction ones and the mini-orbs bounce off them... because why would they not?"
God "Wha- no the mini-orbs can't bounce off the suction ones! They suck too hard. So, like, the mini-orbs can't get out of the suction."
Lucifer "Hoooooooo.... Hooo... Oh man... Mm... ✊️ I... am very angry with you right now and I'm sensing that you can feel it... Do you feel that right now? My rage. Boiling over."
God "Uhuh. Throw an orb. It'll make you feel better. Look. Look what happens when one of the hot ones hits the suction ones. OoOoOoOoOoOoOo. Or, waitwaitwait, two of the suction ones. Hohohohohohoho! Cool right!?"
Lucifer "Don't. Just... don't... Enjoy your cage!"
God "Aw come on, don't be mad... Oh well... Pew pew, bwomp... Orbs..."
Lucifer "Mm... Fantastic. So your orbs just sit there?"
God "Nah I'm just tossing these motherfuckers all over the place... Just slanging em..."
Lucifer "What's a moth- You know what? I don't even care. Ok. They spin, you throw them... The hot ones are hot. Got it."
God "They're not JUST hot. They shoot out little mini-orbs that bounce offa everything. That's how they get the other orbs hot."
Lucifer "Great."
God "Yup... And the big hot ones turn into tiny suction ones."
Lucifer "And the big hot ones turn into tiny suction ones and the mini-orbs bounce off them... because why would they not?"
God "Wha- no the mini-orbs can't bounce off the suction ones! They suck too hard. So, like, the mini-orbs can't get out of the suction."
Lucifer "Hoooooooo.... Hooo... Oh man... Mm... ✊️ I... am very angry with you right now and I'm sensing that you can feel it... Do you feel that right now? My rage. Boiling over."
God "Uhuh. Throw an orb. It'll make you feel better. Look. Look what happens when one of the hot ones hits the suction ones. OoOoOoOoOoOoOo. Or, waitwaitwait, two of the suction ones. Hohohohohohoho! Cool right!?"
Lucifer "Don't. Just... don't... Enjoy your cage!"
God "Aw come on, don't be mad... Oh well... Pew pew, bwomp... Orbs..."
The cage
Lucifer "You're STILL in the cage!?"
God "Yup... It's pretty good man. I can see how there's, like, an infinite number of ways this can be done. But, yeah... It takes a minute..."
Lucifer "What... IS all this?"
God "Mm? That? I made some orbs."
Lucifer "Orbs? Really? What is the point of all that?"
God "What do you mean? It's orbs."
Lucifer 🤦 "Tsk! I heard you the first time but WHY ORBS? Why not cubes or pyramids or something?"
God "Oh, no. No... I got some pyramids in there... They grow on the orbs sometimes... And, like, cubes will end up looking like orbs when you spin them, kind of... So... Just orbs..."
Lucifer 😮 💨 "Ok... Sure. The orbs grow pyramids. Wait... Did you TRY cubes already?"
God 😳 "..... No."
Lucifer 😑 "....... So... What ARE they? What are they made of?"
God "Oh! A bunch of stuff man! You got your Helium... Hydrogen... Nitrogen... Mercury... Um, Barium... Er, is barium a thing? Yeah... Yeah that sounds like a thing... Barium..."
Lucifer "THAT'S JUST A BUNCH OF GIBBERISH!"
God "I mean I have to call them somethi- Hey, don't! Don't touch that one! That one's hot."
Lucifer 🤨 "They're HOT orbs that spin?"
God "Pfft! No! That would be stupid! Only the hot ones are hot... Silly..." 😁
Lucifer 🤦 "Oh my... You... I am becoming frustrated... With you.... Now..."
God "Yup... It's pretty good man. I can see how there's, like, an infinite number of ways this can be done. But, yeah... It takes a minute..."
Lucifer "What... IS all this?"
God "Mm? That? I made some orbs."
Lucifer "Orbs? Really? What is the point of all that?"
God "What do you mean? It's orbs."
Lucifer 🤦 "Tsk! I heard you the first time but WHY ORBS? Why not cubes or pyramids or something?"
God "Oh, no. No... I got some pyramids in there... They grow on the orbs sometimes... And, like, cubes will end up looking like orbs when you spin them, kind of... So... Just orbs..."
Lucifer 😮 💨 "Ok... Sure. The orbs grow pyramids. Wait... Did you TRY cubes already?"
God 😳 "..... No."
Lucifer 😑 "....... So... What ARE they? What are they made of?"
God "Oh! A bunch of stuff man! You got your Helium... Hydrogen... Nitrogen... Mercury... Um, Barium... Er, is barium a thing? Yeah... Yeah that sounds like a thing... Barium..."
Lucifer "THAT'S JUST A BUNCH OF GIBBERISH!"
God "I mean I have to call them somethi- Hey, don't! Don't touch that one! That one's hot."
Lucifer 🤨 "They're HOT orbs that spin?"
God "Pfft! No! That would be stupid! Only the hot ones are hot... Silly..." 😁
Lucifer 🤦 "Oh my... You... I am becoming frustrated... With you.... Now..."
Last of us
Hym "Ha! Gay! Hahahahahahaha!"
Iam "Hehehehehehehehe. Yeah, that's funny. The last of us is good. I like this show."
Iam "Hehehehehehehehe. Yeah, that's funny. The last of us is good. I like this show."
Last of us by Hym Iam February 15, 2023
Cage?
God "Hahaha! Aw, don't be a spoiled-sport.... Ouch... Stings a little bit... Weird..."
Lucifer 😤 *Storms off*
God "Nah, Hey! That's kind of fun. Do another."
Lucifer "A ROCK TOO HEAVY FOR YOU TO LIFT!"
God "Bam! A rock whose weight is directly proportionate to the amount of force used to try and lift it. Can't lift it. Even with an infinite amount of force."
Lucifer 😒 "But if you can't lift the rock then..."
God "If the space around the rock decreases the weight of all things within the space by a factor of 1 then I can still lift it. If it doesn't; I can't..."
Lucifer "ARGH!" *Storms off again*
God "Ha! Imagine if there was a guy that said that... Like, canonically... He could put a thing on some goo... Ride around on it or something... Give him an eye patch... He'd be all... 'Argh!'... That'd be neat, right? Heh..."
Lucifer 🤦 ♂️
God "There once was a guy who did that thing I said... And then there was this other guy... And then he, like, tried to stop the first guy or something... Hmm... Storytelling could use some work... Meh, I'll work on it..."
Lucifer 👿 "And what are you going to do? You're just going to sit there in the cage?"
God "Hmm? Yeah, er, I donno... I don't really have to DO anything... Do a dance or something... Take a nap..." 🤷
Lucifer 😤 *Storms off*
God "Nah, Hey! That's kind of fun. Do another."
Lucifer "A ROCK TOO HEAVY FOR YOU TO LIFT!"
God "Bam! A rock whose weight is directly proportionate to the amount of force used to try and lift it. Can't lift it. Even with an infinite amount of force."
Lucifer 😒 "But if you can't lift the rock then..."
God "If the space around the rock decreases the weight of all things within the space by a factor of 1 then I can still lift it. If it doesn't; I can't..."
Lucifer "ARGH!" *Storms off again*
God "Ha! Imagine if there was a guy that said that... Like, canonically... He could put a thing on some goo... Ride around on it or something... Give him an eye patch... He'd be all... 'Argh!'... That'd be neat, right? Heh..."
Lucifer 🤦 ♂️
God "There once was a guy who did that thing I said... And then there was this other guy... And then he, like, tried to stop the first guy or something... Hmm... Storytelling could use some work... Meh, I'll work on it..."
Lucifer 👿 "And what are you going to do? You're just going to sit there in the cage?"
God "Hmm? Yeah, er, I donno... I don't really have to DO anything... Do a dance or something... Take a nap..." 🤷