Man... I hate this...
Iam "Man... This is miserable... I can't even think right now. I don't even know what to write. I started writing this and now I've just been staring at the screen for an hour. I have this kind of vague conceptualization of 'other people's lives' that I wanted to write about but I don't know where I'm going with it... Thinking about it is horrifying. 'Other people's lives?' It's just bizarre! To even try and imagine what other people's lives are like is terrifying.................................................
Sorry, had to run and get something to drink *glug glug glug glug* Tssaah! Hoo... I was parched. I'm mad dehydrated right now. Where was I? 🤔 Oh, 'other people's lives.' Yeah, it's just weird and sad to think about. Everybody running around doing shit all the time... *Sigh* See? I told you I didn't know where I was going with this... I'm looking at this girl now (watching a video) and she's doing stuff (in the past) and the more I think about it the weirder it gets... She's just over there... All the time... Doing stuff... Gradations of good and bad things have undoubtedly happened to her... She probably knows some things... But there she is... Just there... She's there now... Probably laying in bed... It's still pretty early... Maybe she just got up... Or maybe she's in the shower... That's hot. That a hot thought... Er, shit, you know what I'm saying though. It's just weird. It's much easier to be solipsistic... Man... it's already been 3 hours? Damn..."
Sorry, had to run and get something to drink *glug glug glug glug* Tssaah! Hoo... I was parched. I'm mad dehydrated right now. Where was I? 🤔 Oh, 'other people's lives.' Yeah, it's just weird and sad to think about. Everybody running around doing shit all the time... *Sigh* See? I told you I didn't know where I was going with this... I'm looking at this girl now (watching a video) and she's doing stuff (in the past) and the more I think about it the weirder it gets... She's just over there... All the time... Doing stuff... Gradations of good and bad things have undoubtedly happened to her... She probably knows some things... But there she is... Just there... She's there now... Probably laying in bed... It's still pretty early... Maybe she just got up... Or maybe she's in the shower... That's hot. That a hot thought... Er, shit, you know what I'm saying though. It's just weird. It's much easier to be solipsistic... Man... it's already been 3 hours? Damn..."
by Hym Iam June 05, 2022
If you don't need a man then you don't need a man's money either... Isn't that right? You don't need to take his money in the divorce because "you don't need a man" and "you didn't even want to get married in the first place"
Dumb cheating narcissistic slut "I don't need a man!"
Iam "Then sign the divorce papers. You won't be taking any of his money right? Because if you don't need a man than you don't need his money. Right?"
Stupid adulterous egomaniacal whore "...................................."
Iam "Right? Because you said that you didn't need a man so why do you need the man-you-don't-need's money?"
Slow deceitful psychopathic prostitute "...................................."
Hym "Well? What of that to you think you dumb bitch? Does that not make sense to you? I can explain it real slow if you'd like... Because we asked you a question and you didn't answer.... Not rhetorical... The questions were not rhetorical."
Jada Pinkett-Alsina "......................."
Iam "Then sign the divorce papers. You won't be taking any of his money right? Because if you don't need a man than you don't need his money. Right?"
Stupid adulterous egomaniacal whore "...................................."
Iam "Right? Because you said that you didn't need a man so why do you need the man-you-don't-need's money?"
Slow deceitful psychopathic prostitute "...................................."
Hym "Well? What of that to you think you dumb bitch? Does that not make sense to you? I can explain it real slow if you'd like... Because we asked you a question and you didn't answer.... Not rhetorical... The questions were not rhetorical."
Jada Pinkett-Alsina "......................."
by Hym Iam April 23, 2022
THIS was already happening to me. THIS is all I care about. Yet you expected me to care about your dead kids and your various "isms" and "phobias"
by Hym Iam March 20, 2024
I'm technically one of those...
Hym "Oh? They're coming for the January 6th journalists? I wonder if they'll come for me... Welp... I guess if the social media cowards won't provide a challenge the federal government will have to suffice... WHO HAS THE CONFIDENCE TO FREE BATTLE BEAST!?"
by Hym Iam December 23, 2023
Hym “No. Ingrown hair actually. Because I had just shaved my head and I was wearing glasses a lot because I was driving around all the time (you know) and Walmart stopped stocking tea tree oil (which is how you deal with ingrown hairs). Couldn’t find it anywhere.
by Hym Iam October 20, 2022
I now realize I haven't been properly counting the parts... So, this is whatever part we're at now.
Cain "I HAVE A CHALLENGE!"
God "Okie dokie."
Cain "I will retrieve a thing and Abel will retrieve a thing and then you will decide which of the things is the best thing!"
God "Sounds fun."
Cain "Let's go Abel." *Grabs Abel*
Abel "Ow... I'm coming... Jeez..."
*Later in the forest*
Cain "Where in the hell did Abel run off to..." 🤔
Snake "If you're looking for your brother he's already left to bring his offering to God."
Cain "Damn! I still haven't found a thing... Wait, who are you?"
Snake "My name is *Snake* Er... Shit...😮 💨 God damn it..."
Cain "You're not a snake tho-"
Snake "I KNOW 😖👌... What I am not. 😤 Ok... I heard about your little game and I'd like to help. Here. Take it." 😈
Cain "A cube?"
Snake "Yup. Cube. That idiot's first choice ALWAYS cube. With this, you'll win. Without a doubt."
Cain "Really? Great! Thanks Snake!" *runs off*
Snake "My name isn't... 😮 💨 God damn it..."
Cain "I HAVE A CHALLENGE!"
God "Okie dokie."
Cain "I will retrieve a thing and Abel will retrieve a thing and then you will decide which of the things is the best thing!"
God "Sounds fun."
Cain "Let's go Abel." *Grabs Abel*
Abel "Ow... I'm coming... Jeez..."
*Later in the forest*
Cain "Where in the hell did Abel run off to..." 🤔
Snake "If you're looking for your brother he's already left to bring his offering to God."
Cain "Damn! I still haven't found a thing... Wait, who are you?"
Snake "My name is *Snake* Er... Shit...😮 💨 God damn it..."
Cain "You're not a snake tho-"
Snake "I KNOW 😖👌... What I am not. 😤 Ok... I heard about your little game and I'd like to help. Here. Take it." 😈
Cain "A cube?"
Snake "Yup. Cube. That idiot's first choice ALWAYS cube. With this, you'll win. Without a doubt."
Cain "Really? Great! Thanks Snake!" *runs off*
Snake "My name isn't... 😮 💨 God damn it..."
*Back at the farm*
Cain "I have returned! And here is my offering! BEHOLD!!! A CUBE!" 😁
God "Oh, well alright. That's pretty good man. Abel? Whatcha got?"
Abel "Um... Well... Orb?"
God "OH NO WAY! ORB!? Yeah that's tight. Abel wins. Definitely."
Abel "AAAYY!!"
Cain "Wh... What? How? How could I lose!?"
God "Well, I mean, if you would have brought the orb you would have won, right?"
Cain 😾 *Stares at Abel*
God "Now, you got that look in your eye that a cat gets when it's about to-"
Snake "HOW'D YOU LIKE YOUR CUBE JACKASS!? AHAHAHAHAHA! You DID choose the cube ri-HOLY SHIT!!! 😱 Did you see that guy just mangle the other dudes brain cage!? Oh! That is gruesome! Were you about to say 'fuck the shit out of somebody'? Because that... That is what that guy just did to THAT guys cranium. WOW!"
God "Aw, come on *Snake* Er..." 😳
Snake "Ohohoho! It's not *Snake* remember? Remember that thing you did? It's Snake now! Ahahahahahaha!"
God 😮 💨
Snake "I mean you had to have known right? Would the other one have killed THAT one if HE would have lost? Just let him win! God... You and your orb obsession I swear..."
God "I... Was hoping I was wrong..."
Cain "I have returned! And here is my offering! BEHOLD!!! A CUBE!" 😁
God "Oh, well alright. That's pretty good man. Abel? Whatcha got?"
Abel "Um... Well... Orb?"
God "OH NO WAY! ORB!? Yeah that's tight. Abel wins. Definitely."
Abel "AAAYY!!"
Cain "Wh... What? How? How could I lose!?"
God "Well, I mean, if you would have brought the orb you would have won, right?"
Cain 😾 *Stares at Abel*
God "Now, you got that look in your eye that a cat gets when it's about to-"
Snake "HOW'D YOU LIKE YOUR CUBE JACKASS!? AHAHAHAHAHA! You DID choose the cube ri-HOLY SHIT!!! 😱 Did you see that guy just mangle the other dudes brain cage!? Oh! That is gruesome! Were you about to say 'fuck the shit out of somebody'? Because that... That is what that guy just did to THAT guys cranium. WOW!"
God "Aw, come on *Snake* Er..." 😳
Snake "Ohohoho! It's not *Snake* remember? Remember that thing you did? It's Snake now! Ahahahahahaha!"
God 😮 💨
Snake "I mean you had to have known right? Would the other one have killed THAT one if HE would have lost? Just let him win! God... You and your orb obsession I swear..."
God "I... Was hoping I was wrong..."
by Hym Iam February 22, 2023
Hym "Is it just the trans people doing school shootings? Nooooo it isn't. What's the through-line? Between all the shooters? Is it loser? Is it incel? Is it mentally ill? Is it being demonized for being any of these things to the point where one day you decide 'Well shit if I'm the bad one I might as well just be the bad one and do something bad."
by Hym Iam March 30, 2023