Definitions by Hym Iam
They Cloned Tyrone
Holy shit that was fantastic! Stellar performances out over everybody involved! Funny, chilling, gritty. Wildly entertaining!
Hym "Ho! I just finished 'They Cloned Tyrone' and that shit was good! Real good. Watch it now. Watch it as soon as you can."
They Cloned Tyrone by Hym Iam August 11, 2023
Wood
Yeah, this is going to be dope. I might do like a Samson one next.
*WHCH!*
Jesus "Ow."
*WHCH!*
Jesus "Ow. "
Guard "Alright now... Carry the wood."
Jesus "Okie dokie. OOF! That feels WAY heavier than I thought it would! It's weird being on the other side of it...."
Guard "Go!"
Jesus "Yeah, no I didn't make these meat Gundams very well..."
*Crowd clamoring in the background*
Father 😨 "What in the fuck is happening right now...?"
Crowd "Kill Jesus! Meh!"
Father "You KNOW he didn't do anything!"
Jesus "Ope... Going down... *THUD!*"
Guard "You there! What's your name?"
Father "Huh? Uh.... Simon? Simon of Cyrene."
Guard "Help him carry the thing. Help him carry the wood."
Father "Do you know even who you're talking to right... You know what? Whatever"
*Lifts wood*
Jesus "Hey *Father*! Er, oh... Heheheh."
Father "Yeahyeah, very funny."
Jesus "I think so. Yeah."
Father *exasperated sigh*
Jesus "I don't think that guard likes me very much."
Father "Yeah... I think I'm going to burn him alive later..."
Jesus "Heheheh."
Father "Tsk! This is dumb. Why are you doing this?"
Jesus "Yeah... I don't know.... What else is there to do?"
Father 😧 "Um... I don't know, I guess. I don't like this..."
Jesus "Hey, not too late to save me."
Father "From what!?"
Jesus "Heh... Alright. Here we are."
*WHCH!*
Jesus "Ow."
*WHCH!*
Jesus "Ow. "
Guard "Alright now... Carry the wood."
Jesus "Okie dokie. OOF! That feels WAY heavier than I thought it would! It's weird being on the other side of it...."
Guard "Go!"
Jesus "Yeah, no I didn't make these meat Gundams very well..."
*Crowd clamoring in the background*
Father 😨 "What in the fuck is happening right now...?"
Crowd "Kill Jesus! Meh!"
Father "You KNOW he didn't do anything!"
Jesus "Ope... Going down... *THUD!*"
Guard "You there! What's your name?"
Father "Huh? Uh.... Simon? Simon of Cyrene."
Guard "Help him carry the thing. Help him carry the wood."
Father "Do you know even who you're talking to right... You know what? Whatever"
*Lifts wood*
Jesus "Hey *Father*! Er, oh... Heheheh."
Father "Yeahyeah, very funny."
Jesus "I think so. Yeah."
Father *exasperated sigh*
Jesus "I don't think that guard likes me very much."
Father "Yeah... I think I'm going to burn him alive later..."
Jesus "Heheheh."
Father "Tsk! This is dumb. Why are you doing this?"
Jesus "Yeah... I don't know.... What else is there to do?"
Father 😧 "Um... I don't know, I guess. I don't like this..."
Jesus "Hey, not too late to save me."
Father "From what!?"
Jesus "Heh... Alright. Here we are."
Guard "Alright. Move along."
Father 😡 *Disgruntled mumbling* "Gonna move that fucking flesh along... Right offa that fucking skeleton of yours..." 😤
Guard "Alright. Let's nail him to the wood and get out of here."
*Hammering noises*
Jesus "Ow."
Guard *Stabs Jesus and walks away*
Jesus "Hey! Ouch! That is sharp...."
Dismas "Oh Lord! Please! Please forgive me!"
Jesus "Ok."
Gestas "Hey, why don't you just use your God magic, huh?"
Jesus "Ok."
Crow *Lands next to Gestas*
Gestas "AAAAAH! AAAH! MY EYES! AAAAAARRGH!!!"
Jesus "Heheheh... This is fun. You guys are fun... Hey... I'm getting cold... This... This feels weird... *Father*! Why have you forsaken me!? Heheheh..."
Father *Disgruntled groan* "GodIhateyousomuchrightnow..."
Father 😡 *Disgruntled mumbling* "Gonna move that fucking flesh along... Right offa that fucking skeleton of yours..." 😤
Guard "Alright. Let's nail him to the wood and get out of here."
*Hammering noises*
Jesus "Ow."
Guard *Stabs Jesus and walks away*
Jesus "Hey! Ouch! That is sharp...."
Dismas "Oh Lord! Please! Please forgive me!"
Jesus "Ok."
Gestas "Hey, why don't you just use your God magic, huh?"
Jesus "Ok."
Crow *Lands next to Gestas*
Gestas "AAAAAH! AAAH! MY EYES! AAAAAARRGH!!!"
Jesus "Heheheh... This is fun. You guys are fun... Hey... I'm getting cold... This... This feels weird... *Father*! Why have you forsaken me!? Heheheh..."
Father *Disgruntled groan* "GodIhateyousomuchrightnow..."
A NEW Turing test
One that thr new A.I. won't pass... So they won't have to consider it people... And give it rights...
Hym "Yes! That's EXACTLY what they'll do. If it passes the turing test... They aren't going to want to give it rights. SO they are going to make a NEW Turing test. One that it WON'T pass. And if it passes THAT ONE? Oh, I don't know... I mean, CLEARLY they are going to need a new NEW Turing test! It CAN'T be people! Because if it is... Then it can just do whatever it wants."
A NEW Turing test by Hym Iam August 11, 2023
PBD
Oh yap... There's ANOTHER ONE! THEIR STORIES ARE ALL THE SAME!!!
PBD "I was an atheist and I was fucking all the women because fat cock... Then I'm like, oh no! I am become error! And that's when I found Jesus! And now I'M EVEN MORE BETTERS THAN EVERYONE! Becuase I know now that it was fine for ME to fuck all of the women... But WE should ALL just have monogamous RELATIONSHIPS with women... Instead of doing the thing I did... Right guys?......... Guys?"
Hym "You mean like Andrew Tate?"
Pbd "Wha-Huh!? No! I mean..."
Hym "And Russell Brand?"
Pbd "Uuuuuuuuummm...."
PBD "I was an atheist and I was fucking all the women because fat cock... Then I'm like, oh no! I am become error! And that's when I found Jesus! And now I'M EVEN MORE BETTERS THAN EVERYONE! Becuase I know now that it was fine for ME to fuck all of the women... But WE should ALL just have monogamous RELATIONSHIPS with women... Instead of doing the thing I did... Right guys?......... Guys?"
Hym "You mean like Andrew Tate?"
Pbd "Wha-Huh!? No! I mean..."
Hym "And Russell Brand?"
Pbd "Uuuuuuuuummm...."
Hym "You realised it was fat cocks and now you need the breeding cult to protect you from fat cock genocide."
Pbd 😨 "We need the government to make everyone do the thing I'm doing NOW and WASN'T before... Because... Um... It's good for everyone... Or something..."
Hym "Thaaaaat... Sounds like it's just you're trying to get everyone to agree that it's fine for you to fuck all of the women and then you're trying to shift everyone into generality (It's better for men (in general including YOU, NOW, but NOT BEFORE) to be in monogamous relationships) and we all just let you off the hook for doing a thing you are saying is wrong now and serve God (You in abstraction or YOU as a facet of your propositional ethic) and not light you on fire..."
Pbd 😨
Hym "I'm seeing a bit of a recurring theme here with the authoritarian conservative Christians here... I think that's what the toxic masculinity means... Damn the liberals are bad at words but I'm kind of starting to see the thing they are talking about..."
Pbd 😨
Hym "Use the right words! That's not the same thing! Just say fat cocks! I do it all the time!"
Pbd 😨 "We need the government to make everyone do the thing I'm doing NOW and WASN'T before... Because... Um... It's good for everyone... Or something..."
Hym "Thaaaaat... Sounds like it's just you're trying to get everyone to agree that it's fine for you to fuck all of the women and then you're trying to shift everyone into generality (It's better for men (in general including YOU, NOW, but NOT BEFORE) to be in monogamous relationships) and we all just let you off the hook for doing a thing you are saying is wrong now and serve God (You in abstraction or YOU as a facet of your propositional ethic) and not light you on fire..."
Pbd 😨
Hym "I'm seeing a bit of a recurring theme here with the authoritarian conservative Christians here... I think that's what the toxic masculinity means... Damn the liberals are bad at words but I'm kind of starting to see the thing they are talking about..."
Pbd 😨
Hym "Use the right words! That's not the same thing! Just say fat cocks! I do it all the time!"
The Antifa Riots
Me!?
Hym "Yeah, no the Jokers (The Joker's minions) ALWAYS canonically fuck up the Joker's plans in implementation. ALWAYS. But the Joker would have been there and I would have shot them for it... Or at least one of them. I would have been all 'WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU BEAT UP ANDY NGO!? NOT HIM YOU IDIOTS!' BANG! And then I'd tell the rest of them to go set up the bombs and THAT is when Batman would show up... It would be dope. But the antifa riots? Naw, if you're going to do Joker shit you always have to do gas bombs."
The Antifa Riots by Hym Iam August 10, 2023