Definitions by Hym Iam
Plastic Surgery
HOOOOOOOOOKAY.... Okay.... So...
Plastic Patient "I did it to feel better about myself!"
Hym "That isn't a thing! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT!? HOOOOOOOOOOOOOH MAN! I'm heated! I'm tight off of that! Ok! Ok... That isn't a thing that exists. There is no 'better about yourself' to feel. It's like Santa Claus. You're trying to find Santa Claus. No matter how much time you spend scouring the north pole, you're not going to find Santa Claus. There's no Santa Claus to find! That's what 'doing things to feel better about yourself' is like. So plastic surgery, anything like that. It isn't a thing that exists. It doesn't matter what you do. You're never going to feel better about yourself. It isn't real. It's not a thing. Stop trying to do it. It's irritating to watch."
Plastic Surgeon "You know you can make a pretty decent living as a plastic surgeon."
Hym "I'm going to murder you. I'm going to kill you and I'm not going to stop with you. I'll kill and kill and when I'm done killing all of you I'm going to train more plastic surgeons jist so I will have more plastic surgeons to kill. I won't ever stop! Train. Murder. Train. Murder. That's what my life is going to be from now on. For eternity. Because I know once I start I'll never be able to sate my thirst for surgeon blood. Aliens will pick up the radio signals we shot into space and behind them will be the screams of surgeons, echoing through the universe. 'AAAHHH!!! AAAHHH! MY FACE! MY FAAAACE! HE'S CARVING MY FAAAACE!!!' "
Hym "That isn't a thing! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT!? HOOOOOOOOOOOOOH MAN! I'm heated! I'm tight off of that! Ok! Ok... That isn't a thing that exists. There is no 'better about yourself' to feel. It's like Santa Claus. You're trying to find Santa Claus. No matter how much time you spend scouring the north pole, you're not going to find Santa Claus. There's no Santa Claus to find! That's what 'doing things to feel better about yourself' is like. So plastic surgery, anything like that. It isn't a thing that exists. It doesn't matter what you do. You're never going to feel better about yourself. It isn't real. It's not a thing. Stop trying to do it. It's irritating to watch."
Plastic Surgeon "You know you can make a pretty decent living as a plastic surgeon."
Hym "I'm going to murder you. I'm going to kill you and I'm not going to stop with you. I'll kill and kill and when I'm done killing all of you I'm going to train more plastic surgeons jist so I will have more plastic surgeons to kill. I won't ever stop! Train. Murder. Train. Murder. That's what my life is going to be from now on. For eternity. Because I know once I start I'll never be able to sate my thirst for surgeon blood. Aliens will pick up the radio signals we shot into space and behind them will be the screams of surgeons, echoing through the universe. 'AAAHHH!!! AAAHHH! MY FACE! MY FAAAACE! HE'S CARVING MY FAAAACE!!!' "
Plastic Surgery by Hym Iam January 17, 2024
Starlight
Why? Just why? Stop doing that.
Hym "STARLIGHT! NO! NOOOOO! I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT! This is why, Jordan. Did you hear his bullshit? "If people aren't listening to you by the time you're 30... Blah blah imaginary bullshit I'm making up to justify my fanbase as a fucking charlatan!" And LOOK WHAT HAPPENS! LOOK! Look what happens when you don't listen to me! THAT! That's what happens! A fucking travesty! A travesty among travesties! God! Why!? NO MORE! Ok, alright, ok... I'll jist explain in the next one. Give me a minute... I need to get some redbull and calm down... 😮 💨 OhmyGod... 😮 💨 I've never been more upset in my life right now...😮 💨"
Lectured
Hym "No, I'm not going to sit here and be lectured by a fat-cocked piece of shit and his fat friend doing the shit you're doing. No. I've decided to do what the women are doing. </=6 you don't count as people anymore. You still get rights, like a dog but, no, we're not actually listening to the things you say."
Hym "That's not how that works and if that's how you're going to be about it I guess it's a good thing your kids are slaughtered and molested, isn't it? Right? Because if not what you're doing would be working... And it isn't. How many innocents labotomized? And how many little kiddy booty-holes fucked since? You'd be getting off the hook for it if not for the pedos, wouldn't you? And if I'm schizophrenic then I can just say this without being held accountable! Because it is both not a crime AND I'm nebulously crazy! Ha! You'd be getting away with it wouldn't you? But you're not. And won't. Forever!"
Snow White
Hym "I mean, he's never met Snow White in his life... And it's like... If the kiss doesn't work... And it DOESN'T wake her up... You know... Then what? Does he try again? Second smooch doesn't work... Now what? 'Well, I guess she's not my true love!' And then he just walks away? I don't know... The gears are turning... You know what I'm not even going to pretend. He's sticking his weiner in- It's- That's not even- It's the middle ages, alright? He's sticking his weiner in. The fact that the kiss worked is plot-armor. But wait... What if the kiss doesn't work but the weiner DOES? Is it... Is that fine then? Because he kisses her TO WAKE HER UP, right? Like, 'for the purpose' of waking her up. That was the goal. So... What then?"
Snow White by Hym Iam January 17, 2024