“Storm delayed takeoff, said LiPo, “so MaryBeth and I had a little public airsport at the new LaGuardia, smeared her flight attendant makeup pretty hard!”
“You know what’s great about the wee hours at Heathrow?” whispers Gemma Bryn in her foxy cockney. “I’ll get to grab you for some airsport while everyone else sleeps.”
“You know what’s great about the wee hours at Heathrow?” whispers Gemma Bryn in her foxy cockney. “I’ll get to grab you for some airsport while everyone else sleeps.”
by Hifalutin! February 04, 2022
“Why’d you have to invite James, Jr.,” demanded CocoPuff. “The last thing we need is another coldbody on this cruise.”
“Once upon a time, Sag Harbor softball picnics rocked,” grumbled Big Bess. “Then we merged leagues with the fruits, and in come the Amagansett coldbodies.”
“Water after wine,” agreed The Squid.
“Once upon a time, Sag Harbor softball picnics rocked,” grumbled Big Bess. “Then we merged leagues with the fruits, and in come the Amagansett coldbodies.”
“Water after wine,” agreed The Squid.
by Hifalutin! February 03, 2022
“Wow,” Panda says, glued to the ice dancing in Beijing. “Digging the crotchspin.”
“Ahh, Good One,” sneers mama, who loves to abuse Panda’s street name. “The closest you came to a skate was Sugar Pond Warming Hut in 1990.”
Right, daydreams Panda. That bitchin’ Brian Maleski, he knew his way around a crotchspin. The ice was hard too.
“Ahh, Good One,” sneers mama, who loves to abuse Panda’s street name. “The closest you came to a skate was Sugar Pond Warming Hut in 1990.”
Right, daydreams Panda. That bitchin’ Brian Maleski, he knew his way around a crotchspin. The ice was hard too.
by Hifalutin! February 08, 2022
Detta swung her foomfy pillows over the side and got up to face another day. Robert Crumb watched approvingly, setting the needle down on his morning Elmore James selection (original, not remastered) before padding back to bed. “The Sky Is Crying” was all he had now, that and Detta’s thighs.
“Rad barrels, bro,” says Caleb, shaking droplets from his hair and holding aloft his longboard at Maverick's.
“Later,” says cousin Om, "Can’t hear you.” Eyes glomming onto the wenches ranged across the sand.
“You always were a thigh bloke,” says Caleb. “When will you wake up to good old fashioned T and A?”
“Them’s my father’s trip,” says Om. “I prefer the pillows.”
“Rad barrels, bro,” says Caleb, shaking droplets from his hair and holding aloft his longboard at Maverick's.
“Later,” says cousin Om, "Can’t hear you.” Eyes glomming onto the wenches ranged across the sand.
“You always were a thigh bloke,” says Caleb. “When will you wake up to good old fashioned T and A?”
“Them’s my father’s trip,” says Om. “I prefer the pillows.”
by Hifalutin! February 10, 2022
“Screw starvation!” yells Oprah (no, not that Oprah). “Screw Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, Paleo, Keto, raw, Mediterranean, Noom! I’m on this planet just one time (I think) and I want a bowl of hot fudge sauce decorated by a little dab of ice cream! To be followed a full bowl of sweet, sweet whipped cream. That’s just for starters. I'm saying no to no thank you. I want a thank you portion!”
“MicroAlice,” cooed MacroAlice, bending over the toddler’s high chair at Gordon Ramsay Hell’s Kitchen in Las Vegas, and wielding a small silver spoon. "Would babykins at least take a no thank you portion of strained peas?”
“Mother,” said MicroAlice – and these were her first intelligible words – “I would prefer a trencher of whatever you and my esteemed father are consuming. Osso buco with smashed cheesy garlic potatoes and roasted lemon zest out-of-season asparagus would be just fine, a thank you portion! Don't forget the molten chocolate lava cake.”
“MicroAlice,” cooed MacroAlice, bending over the toddler’s high chair at Gordon Ramsay Hell’s Kitchen in Las Vegas, and wielding a small silver spoon. "Would babykins at least take a no thank you portion of strained peas?”
“Mother,” said MicroAlice – and these were her first intelligible words – “I would prefer a trencher of whatever you and my esteemed father are consuming. Osso buco with smashed cheesy garlic potatoes and roasted lemon zest out-of-season asparagus would be just fine, a thank you portion! Don't forget the molten chocolate lava cake.”
by Hifalutin! February 11, 2022
“Old man Fauci himself praised my work on the University lab’s bug squad,” lies Elmore. “It’s a shit job, but toxic wastrel’s got to count the spikes to pay the bills.”
by Hifalutin! February 03, 2022
“Someday,” web consultant/rip off artist Ernesto promises, “FabuousPalmSpringsFollies.com will wind up winning SEO eyeballs, it’s just a matter of clickwait.”
“Sure,” says Polly, at 95 the oldest in the bunch, “and all us golden hoofers will be doing the can can in our graves.”
“You see,” Marigold explains to numb-nut Fred, ”It's definite. Fiverr is bound to bring clients in to Marigold and Fred’s TruthWashing Service.”
“I understand,” Fred mopes, sensing poverty ahead. “Just don’t know if I can stand the clickwait.”
“Sure,” says Polly, at 95 the oldest in the bunch, “and all us golden hoofers will be doing the can can in our graves.”
“You see,” Marigold explains to numb-nut Fred, ”It's definite. Fiverr is bound to bring clients in to Marigold and Fred’s TruthWashing Service.”
“I understand,” Fred mopes, sensing poverty ahead. “Just don’t know if I can stand the clickwait.”
by Hifalutin! February 10, 2022